Chapter 18: Suspended and Sidelined

As I walked down the hallway, the sound of my footsteps seemed unusually loud, each tap echoing the pain in my hip. I felt a wave of tiredness washing over me, the effects of Saturday’s chemotherapy still lingering. I attempted to act normal, but could the strain around my eyes give away my weariness? Was the faint smell of the hospital still lingering on me?

Today, I focused on feeling cozy - I wore a comfy, light grey sweatshirt with black leggings, paired with worn-out white high tops. My usually long, ash-blonde hair was tucked under a black beanie, a reminder of my ongoing treatment. The small ‘S’ pendant on my silver necklace seemed oddly out of place against my skin.

“Well, if it isn’t the human embodiment of disappointment,” Tahni’s voice, dripping with venom, sliced through the air.

My stomach twisted. Ignoring her was impossible today. The fatigue and relentless pain had stripped away my usual reserve. “What do you want, Tahni?” I snapped, my voice sharper than I intended.

“Oh, nothing,” she cooed, flipping a strand of perfectly straightened hair over her shoulder. “Just wondering if the doctors gave you a timetable. You know, so we can start the countdown…”

The hallway spun sickeningly, her words sharp darts against my fragile composure. I’d heard the hushed whispers, but this open cruelty was a new level. Kleo and Gemma’s shrill giggles echoed in my skull, adding to the pounding in my head.

Then, I caught sight of Evan standing a few feet away, his face pale. Seeing him, his usual easy grin replaced with a frown, ignited a fury I didn’t know I possessed. He’d witnessed it all.

“Why are you such a...” My voice choked, but before I could find the words, Evan surprised me, stepping forward.

Something shifted in the air. The anger in his eyes was clear, his jaw clenched. “Tahni, seriously, knock it off.”

His typical California accent had a sharpness I hadn’t noticed before. Tahni blinked in surprise, but then her usual smirk returned. I knew that her meanness wouldn’t be stopped easily. Still, a small glimmer of hope appeared. I gathered my courage, pushed through the opening they created, and continued walking with my head held high.

The hallway felt like it was never-ending, the bright lights blurring my vision. I struggled to stay focused with each step, trying to fight off the dizziness.

Out of nowhere, Evan appeared next to me. I was taken aback, but he didn’t look at me.

“Are you okay?” His question was simple, but his concern was genuine.

I tried to push down the lump in my throat. Lately, lying had become second nature - a mask I wore. But with Evan, it was different. “I’m fine,” I replied softly.

We walked in silence, finding comfort in each other’s presence. It felt like he was my anchor in the chaos.

“You don’t have to deal with that, you know,” Evan said quietly, still not meeting my eyes. “Tahni just... enjoys seeing people upset.”

“I know,” I said with a hint of bitterness disguised as humor.

He looked at me briefly, his gaze softening. As we approached the government classroom, my heart sank. I knew what was waiting for me inside - Tahni, the pitying looks, the whispers.

“Listen...,” he started, but the bell interrupted us, signaling the end of our conversation. We were separated by the crowd of students.

Before we parted ways, he said, “We’ll talk later.” A mix of relief and nervousness washed over me. Later meant facing Tahni, dealing with Chandler, and sorting through my own emotions. But with Evan’s caring eyes and the promise in his voice, I felt a little less alone. The idea of “later” was like a small flame in the darkness.

I quietly entered the government classroom, making my way to my usual spot at the back. The sound of my classmates chatting seemed distant, my mind filled with a mix of exhaustion and anxiety. When I saw Evan a few rows ahead, a wave of relief washed over me. It was comforting to know that at least one person in the room wasn’t against me. A faint smile appeared on my face.

Tahni sat down in the seat right in front of me, her nails tapping on the desk. Kleo and Gemma were on either side, whispering and giggling, clearly targeting me.

The lesson passed in a blur, my body tired and my thoughts racing. Tahni’s gaze kept landing on me, a smirk on her face. I couldn’t help but wonder, what did I do to deserve this?

Mr. Kalyoncuoglu’s voice droned on, barely registering in my mind over the headache I had. I kept glancing at the clock, hoping for the class to end soon.

Suddenly, a crumpled paper ball hit the back of my head. Gasps filled the room. I turned around, embarrassed, and saw a boy a few rows back smirking. He quickly pretended to be focused on his notes, but I knew he was one of Tahni’s followers, encouraged by her cruelty.

Anger boiled inside me, intense and overpowering. Something inside me snapped, and I found myself standing up.

“May I go to the bathroom?” I blurted out, almost panicked.

Mr. Kalyoncuoglu, surprised by my sudden request, blinked. “Um, sure Ms. Deshazo, but be quick. We’re in the middle of a lesson.”

I nodded, too overwhelmed to speak. I grabbed my bag and hurried out of the room, finally letting the tears flow.

“Mr. Zolliecoffer,” Mr. Kalyoncuoglu’s voice was stern, making the boy in the back jump, “Come outside for a moment, please.” The change in his tone, usually monotone, silenced the rest of the class.

I felt satisfied knowing he was uncomfortable, so I quickly walked down the hallway. There was no way I could return to class in that state. My face was red and my eyes were still watery. I decided to spend the rest of US Government class in the nurse’s office, pretending to have a headache to hide the fact that I was shivering with a fever.

Today, the atmosphere at the table felt strange - quiet and uneasy. My regular lunch was there: a turkey sandwich on whole-wheat bread, a banana, and a few grapes, hardly eaten. I poked at a limp piece of lettuce, sensing the comfort of my friends around me. Stetson and Noelle shared a concerned glance, but I ignored it with a grin. I reassured myself that everything was okay, even though the queasiness in my stomach was not caused by the odd smell of the cafeteria’s meatloaf.

Leaning casually against Evan felt natural even though it was...different. We’d been getting closer slowly over the past few days, his warmth and constant support a reassuring change from the anxiety I was feeling. Chandler observed us, a hint of disapproval crossing his face, swiftly hidden behind a fake smile. They didn’t get along, but for my sake, there was an awkward, uneasy peace between them. Why couldn’t they just act like grown-ups? I wondered, irritation bubbling up inside me.

And suddenly, Tahni appeared. The confident way she walked, the smirk on her face, and the twins, Kleo and Gemma, standing beside her like bodyguards. It felt like a slow-motion nightmare. The memory of that crumpled paper hitting the back of my head in Government class, and the muffled giggles from Tahni’s friends behind me, made my head throb.

My face turned red. I needed to respond, to fight back, but the words got stuck in my throat. It felt like my tongue was glued in place.

“What’s with the beanie, weirdo?” Gemma mocked, a smirk forming on her lips.

Chandler looked ready to intervene, but Evan’s reassuring hand on my shoulder kept me grounded. He spoke calmly, almost disinterested. “Go away, Tahni. No one wants you here.”

She bristled, but I saw a hint of uncertainty in her eyes. Not fear, but a crack in her usual tough exterior. Good. Maybe she’s not as strong as she acts. I thought, feeling a mix of sweat and chills on my skin.

“You think you’re so tough now, cancer girl?” she spat. In a flash, she grabbed my beanie, a smug grin on her face.

The heat in my face grew stronger. My bare scalp exposed my illness, undeniable proof. Tears welled up, stinging my eyes, my stomach twisting. I was truly sick, and this cruel situation was the final confirmation.

I let out a loud scream, a primal noise that I couldn’t believe came from me. Without hesitation, I charged towards Tahni. Her nails, perfectly done, scratched my cheek, causing a sharp pain. I grabbed a handful of her blonde hair and pulled with all my might. The cafeteria erupted in shocked gasps and shouts, but all I could focus on was the sound of my own heartbeat in my ears.

We fell to the ground, limbs flailing and curses flying. Tahni let out a scream as my knee accidentally hit her stomach. Her flawless makeup was ruined, and her expression changed from a sneer to a mix of anger and shock. Gemma and Kleo attempted to pull me away, but my hold on Tahni’s hair was strong. In that moment, I thought, “This is payback for all the things you’ve done to me,” as a wave of dizziness washed over me.

All of a sudden, I was pulled back by strong hands, and everything became clear. The school resource officers were pulling us apart, while teachers yelled for everyone to calm down. My heart was racing, and I felt dizzy. Tahni was crying, holding her stomach, with mascara streaking down her face. My beanie was on the ground. The room started spinning, and I felt like I was going to faint.

The principal’s office was filled with nervous people and the strong smell of hand sanitizer. I felt my heart drop when I saw Dad and Pops standing together, looking worried. Tahni’s parents were also there, giving off a cold disapproval, and their perfume made the room feel suffocating. My fever was finally going down, but I still felt tired and weak.

Principal Kavanaght’s stern voice broke the silence, “This type of aggression is not welcome in our school...”

Tahni interjected, tears streaming down her face. “But she was the one who started it, Principal Kavanaght! She just came at me out of nowhere!” Her voice grew louder, filled with emotion, as she continued to cry.

Gemma and Kleo nodded vigorously, shooting accusing looks in my direction. I felt a surge of embarrassment and anger, clenching my fists. My dad’s reassuring hand on my shoulder prevented me from retaliating, from revealing their deceit.

Principal Kavanaght let out a heavy sigh, the wrinkles on his face becoming more pronounced. “Ms. Deshazo, Ms. Haughton, this kind of behavior will not be tolerated. There will be consequences for both of you. Sloane, you’re off the volleyball team for the remainder of the season. Tahni, you’re suspended from the cheerleading squad until further notice. Furthermore, you are both suspended for the rest of the week, starting now. Any additional disciplinary measures will be decided after a thorough investigation.”

A gasp escaped my lips as I felt tears welling up in my eyes. Volleyball was my escape, my one remaining thread of normalcy. The stern faces of the adults blurred as I felt a hand on my back, the warmth of Pops’ comforting touch.

As Tahni was ushered out by her parents, I heard Mr. Haughton’s low, angry voice. “Grounded for a month. Phone confiscated, allowance cut indefinitely. We did not raise you to be a bully, Tahni Rose.”

The words stung, a small victory amidst the overwhelming shame. Dad’s arm tightened around my shoulders, his expression grim. Pops, always the calmer one, spoke softly, “Don’t listen to their lies, honey. We know who you are.”.

The memory of myself - with wild eyes, tangled hair, and attacking another girl - was etched in my mind. I couldn’t even recognize the person I had become in that ugly, desperate fight. The sickness in my body, the constant teasing, it all led to a moment of explosive anger. As we left the principal’s office, the fluorescent lights felt brighter, the hallways colder. The weight of the day was heavy on me, and exhaustion crept into my bones. All I wanted was to hide in my bed and vanish, to get away from the stares and whispers that trailed me like shadows.

The journey back was quiet, broken only by my occasional sniffles. My head was pounding, my body was sore, and the world seemed to spin with every turn. Pops held my hand gently, his eyes full of worry. “You’re so hot, honey,” he whispered, touching his hand to my forehead.

When we finally got home, I could hardly stand. The fever had gotten worse, sending chills down my spine while my skin felt both sweaty and cold. Dad helped me into bed, wrapping me in extra blankets, but the shivers wouldn’t stop. Waves of nausea hit me, each one stronger than the last. I curled up, holding my stomach, barely hearing Pops calling for an ambulance.

The next thing I knew, I was staring up at the bright lights of the emergency room, an IV in my arm. A nurse in a mask was checking on me, speaking softly. Dad and Pops were there too, looking scared and tired.

“It’s okay, sweetie,” Dad said, stroking my hair. “You’re safe now.”

But I didn’t feel safe. I felt scared, weak, and completely alone. The doctor came in, looking at my chart with a frown. “Sloane, your white blood cell count is dangerously low, and we’re worried about infection,” he said. “We need to keep you in the hospital for observation and treatment.”

I nodded, too tired to argue. I was wheeled into a private room, the white walls closing in on me. The IV fluids helped, easing the nausea and lowering the fever, but the exhaustion lingered, weighing me down.

As I drifted off to sleep, I couldn’t shake the feeling of losing control. My body was failing me, the cancer weakening me, and I couldn’t do anything about it. All I could do was lie there, connected to machines, and hope that the doctors could help.