Chapter 51: An Impossible Mate-1

Zuerien's POV It's not possible! That was the first thing that always came to my mind every time I laid eyes on this particular human. This human who I couldn't stray my thoughts from. This human who had been created especially for me. This human who was a part of my soul. This human who was mine! It's not possible! That had been the dominant thought on my mind the first time I had laid eyes on her. It was not possible for me to have been granted a mate. And yet, there she was, in front of me, looking nothing short of breathtaking as I desperately sought back my self-control in case I lost it and claimed her right there. When that thought had cleared and denial had passed, I found myself repeating those words again. It's not possible! For me to have a mate who was human was inconceivable. I was Alpha King, ruler of the entirety of the vast Werewolf Kingdom and an Alpha Extraordinaire. How could it be that I was mated to someone so fragile? Someone so gentle! She was delicate, what if...what if I hurt her?! Even the Alpha of Wisdom, Alpha John Penson, could not understand it. Mates were meant to balance each other out. But in this case there was a very obvious gaping discrepancy in power. And then... It's not possible! For a human to accept and come to terms with being the Queen of a race that she probably thought to be a farfetched myth, was highly implausible. After all, being a Queen, a Luna Queen, was a responsibility far too great, even for someone who had been trained all their lives to take up the role, just as I had been, for the position of the Alpha King. And yet, fate had played this wicked game and gotten a poor innocent girl involved with a world that was probably too dark and dangerous for her, with a man who was probably too dark and dangerous for her. So I decided to let her go. To free her from a burden she need never know she was supposed to have borne. The burden of a heavy throne, the burden of a broken Alpha. And yet, she had upended my understanding of the matter when she had somehow evaded my rejection, involuntarily. That could only mean that her body had recognized that something was going wrong, even when her mind still did not know or understand anything. Her body was already working in tune with the mating bond. But that...is not possible! I had needed to shift immediately after she had left my office, drenched and wrapped securely in my jacket. I had needed to clear my head. So I went into the woods and let Kai take over. I ran the entire length of the forest till my nerves had eased slightly and my dilemma had numbed. But yet again, she sent my heart into a frenzy, when I found her injured and bleeding in the forest against a tree. A forest that she shouldn't have been able to enter. A tree she shouldn't have been able to reach. It's not possible! For her to have crossed over the territorial shields cast by an Alpha Extraordinaire, the Alpha of Mazes, was just unthinkable. But she had done it, and as usual left me puzzled beyond belief. But then, she had to take a week off and I told myself, it would be enough for me to regain control. When she returned I would be of stronger resolve and would reject her, before my heart fell so much in love with her that I couldn't do it anymore. And yet, that one week that I had been away from her had been hell. I had constantly battled with the idea of wanting to see her again. I had walked out of countless meetings with the intention of making my way to her, just to get a glimpse of her, just to know she was okay. But I could not, would not allow myself to see her. I wouldn't let her control my mind any more than she already did. And so I would end up walking back into those meetings and spending the rest of them unintentionally terrifying my subordinates. And when finally even Kai got sick of my irrational contradictory behavior, he threatened to possess my body and go see her against my will. Not wanting that to happen, I finally picked up the phone and asked Roma, the warden of the female staff quarters, and a fellow wolf, to keep an eye on her and look after her. ...for me... She had been surprised no doubt, but I immediately told her it was because John was worried about his P.A. Even if I hadn't mentioned it, no one would have dared question my word. No one except John himself that is. And I was pleased that she didn't either. And just when I felt satisfied that at least now I could rest assured that she was being cared for and return to my work, I found myself battling yet again, but this time against my urge to call Roma every half hour to know how she was doing. And at the end of all of that torture, she had only been gone one day. I had never felt so exasperated in my entire life! I kept myself occupied every minute and second of the day, doing everything I could to keep myself from thinking about her. So why is it that every time I saw a brunette walk by, I immediately found myself wishing that it was her? Roma sent John regular updates on my mate's health and I knew she was recovering well. So why is it that every day I waited so restlessly for the minute he would receive word from her? Knowing that all this thinking would drive me crazy, or weaken my resolve enough for Kai to carry out his threat, I left the capital, to go and bring Alpha Marco Ronaldo, the Alpha of Mazes. He needed to check the territorial shields; there was something very wrong with them, since a human had crossed over them. But I told him it was just for a routine check of the shields. Of all the people, he did not need to know about her...about my mate. Alpha Marco had been in the middle of checking the shields around another pack, and asked me for permission to stay a bit longer there, for which I consented. But since John did not accompany me and Cole, I no longer received any news about her. Something told me that sly no good Alpha of Wisdom was keeping the information from me on purpose, and it was driving me insane.