Chapter 24: Draw A Line

\[Rue’s POV\]

I stare at Leo, taking in the satisfaction that appears in his dark eyes over me simply calling him by his name.

Who knew that something that simple could make someone so happy when the world around them was still crashing and burning? I most certainly didn’t, but if I could bring him a little bit of happiness after everything he did for me, then I was more than willing.

To say that the past few weeks were difficult was an understatement. Between my mother’s sudden passing, her funeral arrangements, and then dealing with the sorrow and emptiness that came after, I felt like a walking zombie instead of an actual person.

Honestly, if Leo wasn’t here beside me through all of it, I was certain that I wouldn’t have made it, but with his silent, constant presence and strength, I was still standing.

He was a godsend to me, and likewise, I was certain that I was the same for him.

Of course, his family helped a bit by sending meals occasionally and checking in, but for the most part it was just me and him.

It was actually becoming quite natural for us to be together. So much so that I was dreading going back to school because I wasn’t exactly sure I would be able to handle not having his presence beside me, but since he insisted that I go back, I didn’t want to argue.

The sooner you go back, the sooner you graduate, and you’ll never have to leave him again. The small voice in the back of my head murmurs, taking me by surprise. It will be just the two of you until the end.

Will it really be like that?

This single question flashes in my mind, causing my heart to squeeze painfully and anxiety to rush through me, but I simply ignore it.

“Leo,” I repeat now, once again testing the word on my tongue. “Leo.”

“Good,” Leo smiles, his handsome face brightening. “Now, why don’t we finish breakfast and go get changed?"

Nodding, I do as instructed, downing the rest of my food like I’m in a race and then quickly washing my dish.

Once I’m finished, I head upstairs, where I quickly strip out of my pajamas and throw on a sundress that is tucked in the back of my closet.

After I’m dressed, I head to the bathroom, where I try to do something with my hair and put on a bit of makeup as the need to look nice for my outing with Leo takes over, but just as quickly as the excitement and anticipation hit, so does guilt that leaves me frozen in place.

“What are you doing?” I whisper, staring at my reflection in the mirror. “Are you really getting excited about going out with your deceased mother’s husband only a few weeks after her death?”

This realization slams into me, causing what feels like tiny needles to stab into my heart as earth-quaking guilt hits me.

Shit. I actually was. I was getting excited about going out with Leo even though he was meant to only be my father and nothing more.

“You wicked girl,” I whisper, a knot forming in my throat. “How could you do that?”

Dammit.

Dammit. Dammit. Dammit.

What the hell was I thinking? What was I even doing?

Was I beginning to slowly forget that Leo and I were together like that only because of my mother?

Was I growing too complacent in my current circumstances because since my mother’s passing, Leo was my one constant, and I was his?

Did I really believe that anything would change between us just because he was looking after me so carefully to make sure that I didn’t do anything?

Yes.

Somewhere deep down I was beginning to believe that this would be how things would end up being, but they couldn’t be.

“I shouldn’t go out with him,” I whisper, looking down at my dress. “It wouldn’t be right.”

Turning, I head back into my room and strip off the dress. When it crumbles to my feet on the floor, I step out of it and grab an oversized shirt and leggings and pull them on.

Once I’m dressed, I pinch my cheeks a few times, making them red, and then I head downstairs where Leo stands waiting.

“Are you…” He begins but stops as he sees the way I’m dressed. “Are you going to wear that?”

“Yes,” I respond slowly. “I don’t think it is a good idea for us to go out.”

Growing quiet, I wait while Leo takes in what I’ve said, and when a look of confusion and then concern crosses his face, I actually feel a bit bad.

“Is something wrong?” He asks, immediately growing concerned. “Does something hurt? Do you feel unwell?"

“No,” I respond, stepping back as he heads toward me. “It’s just that…” I grow quiet, trying to find the right words to explain exactly how I’m feeling. “I don’t think it is the best of ideas for us to go out like that.”

It was the best explanation I could give, and I could only hope that Leo would understand it.

This. This that we had now was the closest that we should get. Anything past this would eventually grow dangerous, and if it came to that, I wasn’t certain that I would be able to hold back. If I couldn’t hold back, I would end up betraying my mother, and I just couldn’t bring myself to do that.

“I appreciate everything you’ve done for me.” I continue, trying to ignore the hurt on Leo’s face. “I’ll never be able to repay all the kindness that you’ve showed me, but it is about time that I started standing on my own two feet again.”

There. Everything that I was feeling and thinking was out in the open, and now it was just a matter of Leo accepting it. Once he did, we could slowly start working on going our own separate ways, and this time we spent together would be nothing more than a thing of the past.

“I get it,” Leo says slowly, and I find myself feeling a twinge of regret. “I guess that I got ahead of myself since things were starting to get better. I’ll be sure to respect your wishes, but know when you need me I will be here.”

“Okay,” I smile, that damned knot forming in my throat again. “Then, I’m going to head upstairs and get some studying done.”

I don’t wait for a response before I turn and head back up the stairs while secretly wishing that Leo would chase me and ask me to take back what I’ve said. And this single desire of mine leaves me feeling like an absolute piece of shit because I know that it is wrong and another betrayal to my mother.

“You’re the worst,” I whisper when I reach my room and peek toward the stairs. “The absolute worst daughter to ever exist.”