Chapter 85

Leaning against the barn's open carriage doors, Nate crossed his arms. "Things seem to be going well with Amy. Why do you look irritated?"

Nakos gave a last pat for Midnight, their three-year-old stallion, and closed the stall. Unsure how to answer, he searched the expanse behind the ex-soldier as if the land might provide answers.

A front was rolling in, the sky to the west black with ominous clouds. Static charged the humid air and smelled like rain. They'd called it a day just in time to avoid nature's wrath. Nothing sounded better than sinking into Amy's warm body in front of a fire while a storm raged outside.

Except... "She's holding back. From me, from..." He lifted his hand, let it slap his thigh as he dropped it. Frustration pounded his temples. "I don't know. She's stopped fighting me, so there's that. But she's got something in that head of hers keeping her from fully engaging. I wish to hell I knew what. She looks at me like she's gearing her courage to tell me, then clams up." Which pissed him off. When had he ever given her the impression she couldn't talk to him? About anything?

Nate nodded slowly. "Have you asked her about it?"

"No." The situation had been obvious between them, even when all else was smooth sailing. "I'm trying to give her time because whatever it is, it's...dark." Nakos could tell by the shadows in her eyes, the haunted expression. And it was killing him.

"You love her, yes?"

He closed his eyes. "Yeah, that's the other thing. I've told her, repeatedly, and she hasn't said it back." When Nate just stared holes through him, Nakos sighed. "What?"

"It doesn't come as easy for people like me and her. Amy and I? Our situations aren't that different. Remember, it was just a few months ago the roles were reversed. You came to me, laid it out for me about Olivia. I'm just trying to return the favor."

Nate hadn't had any love his entire life. Until he'd landed in Meadowlark and in Olivia's capable hands, he'd wandered from situation to situation like a ghost, repeating mistake after mistake. Nakos didn't understand how there were any similarities between the guy and Amy.

"Think about it." Nate straightened, widened his stance. "Yeah, my life was shit before coming here, but Amy, in a way, had it worse." He removed his black ball cap, rubbed his bald head, and replaced the hat. "I didn't belong anywhere, had no family. Foster care wasn't all warm fuzzies, but I knew my place. Amy grew up in a house with two parents, the very people who created her, and they don't give a crap. You want to talk about a mind fuck? Put yourself in her shoes." He lifted his hand, palm out. "And before you say she had you and Olivia, you need to consider her viewpoint. If her own parents didn't love her, how is she supposed to trust anyone else who claims to? That ex of hers and what he did only locked in that mindset."

Hihcebe, the guy was right. The scenarios had played through Nakos's mind, too. But he didn't know what more to do to prove to her he loved her. He treasured each moment with her, and when they were apart, he felt something akin to separation anxiety. Whatever demons were lurking inside her had their claws in him, as well. He'd be a hell of a lot calmer if he knew what those demons were so he could fight them.

He strode toward the exit and glanced over Nate's shoulder. Up the path, near the mudroom of the main house, Amy's folks stood with a man Nakos didn't recognize, along with Amy's brother and Olivia. "What are they doing here?"

Nate turned his head, scowled, and faced Nakos. "The uncle arrived in town this morning. They came by to visit with Kyle. Olivia's been showing them around the past hour." He paused. "Something's not right about that guy. I told Kyle to stick by Olivia's side so I could get away."

"Where's Amy? Have they seen her?" If they could make a trip to the ranch to visit their son, they sure as hell could check up on their daughter.

"No, they've stuck to outside. Last I saw, she was in the kitchen with Mae."

Which was probably for the best. Nakos ground his teeth. "Let me lock up here and..."

He turned, finding Amy at the rear open carriage doors. She wore her usual casual clothes, a pair of jeans and a peach blouse, but they were wrinkled. Cocoa hair, up in a high ponytail, had wisps messily escaping to frame her face. Her hands were clasped in front of her, the knuckles white, and only one flip-flop adorned a foot. The other was bare, like she'd rushed out and lost one. That pretty mouth was pressed into a thin, distraught line and a sheen of tears swam in her mermaid eyes.

Warning knells clanged. "What's wrong?"

"Can we go home now?" Her voice was brittle and, as he stepped closer, he realized she was trembling. Hard.

He glanced at Nate for guidance, concern ratcheting. But he was focused on her, too, a deep grove between his brows, and he didn't appear to know the reason for her state either, if his expression was any indication.

"Can you give us a sec?"

Nate glanced at him, then back to her. "I'll be right up at the house if you need me."

She nodded repeatedly, the motion frantic. After Nate stepped out, she jerked her wide eyes to Nakos. "Please, can we go?" Her breath caught, and...that was it. He was officially freaked out beyond reason.

He cupped her shoulders and tugged her to him, stroking her back. A leaf dangling from a branch in October high winds had nothing on the way she shook in his arms. Alarm pinched his airway and a cold fist squeezed his lungs. This wasn't her, wasn't his Amy at all. Her take-no-prisoners, hear-me-roar persona had disappeared, and in it's place was a woman he didn't recognize. He tightened his hold, as much for him as for her.

Dropping a kiss to the top of her head, he rested his cheek. "Talk to me, bixooxu. What's got you so worked up? Is this about your parents being here?" His heart rate was nearly as hyper as hers, thumping double-time against his chest.

Wrenching away, she cast her watery gaze everywhere but at him. "I want to go. I don't want to see him. I can't deal with him right now. I just can't."

He froze, not only due to her erratic behavior, but her phrasing. She'd said him, not them. Meaning, her uncle? Why would a man she hadn't seen in years put the fear of God in her eyes, have her trembling beyond measure, and needing to bolt? There wasn't damn near anything that scared her.

Memories flashed through his head, quicker than lightning with twice the voltage. How she'd gone insipidly pale in the tavern when she'd learned the guy was coming in town. The things Olivia had said about him, the way he'd made her uncomfortable as a girl. They'd claimed he was creepy and had stared at them like...

Oh hell. And with his lungs refusing to cooperate, Nakos looked at Amy, at the rabid fear shaking her limbs, the fragile helplessness in her eyes. A frigid ball of dread spread behind his ribs.

No. Mercy, no. "What did he do, Ames?"

She made a whimpering sound and paced, hands on her head. Barely comprehendible mutterings sprang from her lips. "Don't make me relive this...I'm over it...can't hurt me...just want to go home..."

Suspicion mounted higher, ripped the barely beating heart right out of his chest. He was about to lose his shit all over the room. "Ames," he choked. Striding to her, he grabbed her shoulders, dipped to look in her eyes. "How did he hurt you? Tell me," he demanded when she said nothing.

As if traumatized, she merely stared at him with eyes like glass and her lower lip quivering. Hauntingly chilling.

He tried to think. More memories seared to mind. How she'd grown rigid that time he'd taken her from behind. The admission she'd lost her virginity younger than most girls.

Bile churned, rose up his esophagus. Fucking Almighty, let him be wrong.

"Did he...?" He couldn't even say the words. "Did he...put his hands on you?" Say no. Please, say no.

She whined, eyes pleading. Seconds passed. Finally, she nodded.

No, no, no. "Punched? Kicked? Slapped?"

She shook her head, sending what little hope this was a physical abuse situation shattering at his feet.

The alternative was too much to bear. He'd carried her out of this very barn months ago, bruised and broken and bloody, and he'd yet to recover. But...this? The possibility of her having been violated? The end. He couldn't survive it. Not her. Sweet Hihcebe, not his Ames.

He was going to be sick. "Worse?" As if the idea of that man hitting her wasn't vile enough. He wanted to die. Goddamn die right now. "Did he do something worse?"

A sob, and she nodded again.

"How much more, anim? You have to tell me," he uttered brokenly, eyes burning.

"He did everything," she whispered. Tears clung to her dark lashes, splashed onto her pale cheeks.

And he knew. Before her mouth opened to say the one word that would level him to the ground, he knew it was coming. He tried to brace himself, hold it together, and epically failed.

"He raped me."