Chapter 45

Olivia pulled her truck in the driveway and cut the engine, then pounded her fist on the steering wheel a trillion times. Not that it helped her frustration level, but it beat screaming through town like Wee Willie Winkie after a meltdown.

All day yesterday, she'd torn Meadowlark apart trying to find Nate. After little sleep, she'd headed out to do the same thing this morning. Nothing. Nada. All Rip would tell her was Nate started work on Monday and that, last he'd heard, Nate was fine. The good ole boys club, protecting each other. Rip must've assumed Nate needed time.

She wasn't fine. And she didn't believe for one second Nate was, either.

Helpless tears of concern and fear threatened again, so she climbed out of the truck and stalked toward the barn. Perhaps Nakos had heard from Nate.

Sunlight beat down and the grass was damp with dew. Spring clung to the tepid air and birds chirped. A breeze whirred the leaves budding on the trees. Flowers poked through the defrosted ground, ready to bloom. She wanted to napalm all of it, obliterate anything joyful and cheerful until she saw with her own two eyes that Nate was all right.

Nakos stood outside the first barn, clipboard in hand. "Hebe, Olivia."

"Have you seen him?"

He focused a little too hard on the clipboard, flipping papers. "Who would that be?"

"You know who." She crossed her arms. "Nate. Where is he?"

Giving up the pretense, he lowered the clipboard and stared at her, gaze understanding. "I may or may not have hung out with him last night."

"Where?"

"It doesn't matter and I'm not telling you." He held up his palm when she bared her teeth. "He's figuring stuff out, little red. Give him time. He'll come around."

Shoulders deflating, she pouted. Nakos wasn't going to cave.

"Did he..." Crap. Her throat clogged with tears. "Is he really okay?" She sniffed. "And if you lie to me, I'll fire you."

A smile teased his lips. "You won't fire me and I've never lied to you. He'll come around. I promise."

She looked at him another moment, then spun on her heels. "I'll kill you both as soon as I find him."

Nakos's laugh faded as she stomped up to the house.

Kicking off her shoes in the tack room, she shoved through the kitchen door. Aunt Mae was at the table, papers scattered everywhere in her version of organization. Eyeglasses perched on the end of her nose, she glared at a page in her hand, then one at her elbow as if comparing.

Olivia knew better than to bother her aunt when she was doing monthly statements, but this couldn't wait. "Did he call? Has he come back?"

"No, baby girl. I'm sorry." Aunt Mae removed her glasses and set them aside, then smoothed her white strands. "Let me make you something to eat."

"No, thanks. I can't even comprehend food right now." She blew a hefty sigh and glanced around. Pancakes and sausage in mass on the counter. A pot of soup going on the stove. Normal, as always. Except Nate wasn't here. She rubbed her forehead, achy from crying. "What are you working on? Looked like you were upset."

"Oh, well. You should take a look." Aunt Mae shoved her glasses back on and passed Olivia a paper. "That's the bank statement for last month. The numbers are off. There are too many funds."

"Okay," she said slowly. "Perhaps one of the suppliers haven't withdrawn yet."

"I thought the same thing, but I looked into that already." Aunt Mae handed over another paper. "That's the employee payroll. I compared check numbers to what was on the statement." She removed her glasses yet again and stared at Olivia. "Nate's are the only ones that haven't gone through."

Olivia froze. "What do you mean?"

"I mean, he hasn't cashed or deposited one check since he arrived."

"What?" She glanced at the page, then her aunt. They paid the ranch hands every two weeks. Off the top of her head, that was roughly five to six checks Nate hadn't cashed. And she'd handed them to him herself. "Why would..."

Oh no. Oh God.

He'd refused to take payment from her. That's what this was about. He wouldn't accept money for what he wrongfully assumed was atonement for his sins. Because he wasn't on Cattenach Ranch to work. He was here to fulfill a promise. In his mind, anyway.

Hands shaking, she set the papers down. The room blurred in a haze through hot tears. Her stomach plummeted to her knees.

"I have to find him," she whispered.

No one had ever shown him they cared. Aside from her brother, nobody had ever bothered to try. Nate had stumbled through life on a wing and a prayer. It was shocking he'd turned out as charismatic as he had, considering.

And after the way he'd left yesterday, the things he'd said, she could only imagine his state of mind right now. Though hesitant, he had started to reach for happiness, to believe the things she'd told him.

But to have that ripped away, like Justin had been taken from him, even if by Nate's own hand, would probably send him spiraling. To Nate, he wasn't worthy of her or the life she'd offered, and a lifetime of being alone and in pain was his punishment.

Lord, she had to find him before his conscience undid all her progress.

"I'll be back in a little while."

In a daze, she climbed the stairs, rummaged in the box Nate had made for her, and pulled out Justin's letter. She put it in her back pocket and went back downstairs to the kitchen.

"If he calls or stops by, text me right away."

Aunt Mae nodded, her smile sad. "Sure thing, baby girl."

Olivia made her way outside and stopped near the herb garden, trying to think.

Nate's motorcycle had been at the police station when she'd stopped in, but parked in back out of view. Which she'd stumbled onto by accident trying to turn the truck around in the small lot. He couldn't be far if he was on foot. She'd already checked the diner and storefronts nearby. The ranch hands had searched the property yesterday with no luck.

So, where the heck was he?

Two sharp barks rent the air and she turned. Bones loped down the hill on the other side of the wildflower patch, his black and white fur flowing due to his speed. He barked twice more.

The poor dog had spent the night whining, pacing from her third floor suite to Nate's bedroom and back again. This morning, he'd taken off for the barn when Olivia had gotten in her truck.

Bones stopped feet from her, barked twice, and turned as if wanting her to follow him.

"Did you find him, boy?" Lord have mercy, please. "Where's Nate?"

The dog took off in the direction he'd started, and Olivia jogged to catch up. She followed him up the hill and around the bend, Bones stopping periodically to wait. Once he made a hard left at a cottonwood, she realized where he was leading her and picked up speed.

Out of breath, she halted by the cemetery gate and nearly collapsed to her knees.

Nate, his back to her and facing Justin's grave, stood with his hands on his hips and his bald head down. He wore a black tee and sweats, smeared by grass stains. Judging by that and the wet patches darkening his pants, he'd been sitting at one point. Had he been here all night?

Relief crippled everything else, and she slapped a hand over her mouth to hold in a sob. She breathed through the assault, remembering her frantic searching and frenetic worry, and closed her eyes.

When she opened them and he stepped back like he was going to turn around, rage took over and shoved gratitude into the backseat.