Chapter 60

-Jianna-

"Finally." Dr. Mondrich grinned wickedly.

My breath was ragged, and my head was pounding. Pictures on pictures kept popping into my head, and they were all going so fast that I was having difficulty keeping my eyes open. It's like being shown a slideshow but on cocaine.

"MAKE IT STOP! PLEASE MAKE IT STOP!" I wailed. I shook my head so violently that I thought my head was going to pop off my neck.

Dr. Mondrich just laughed; he didn't care about my suffering and pressed a button on his control panel. Suddenly, everything went black, and my mind was quiet. I felt like I had just awakened from a long, restless sleep. I looked around the room, disoriented.

I looked at the doctor; he was still grinning, making me uneasy.

"What did you do to me?" I asked, my voice barely above a whisper.

Dr. Mondrich sauntered over to me and placed a hand on my shoulder. I shrunk away from his touch, but he just chuckled.

"This? I thought you'd remember what it was." he raised an eyebrow. Then, he waved his hand. "It doesn't matter. This machine is what made you forget. And it appears the same machine would bring your memories back."

I looked at the machine in horror, wondering what kind of memories I had that would make me want to forget. Dr. Mondrich seemed to be enjoying my discomfort as he smiled wickedly.

"You see, Jianna, you were part of an experiment. We erased your memories so that we could implant new ones that would benefit us," he stated like it was something that he said every day. "After you left the first time, it was the catalyst that I needed to convince your father to let me test it out on you."

"After I left?" I looked at him and then closed my eyes. Flashes of events went in and out of mind. "I...I don't..."

"Don't worry, *principesa*. It'll come," he said.

I tried to wrap my head around what he said, but it was all confusing. "What do you mean by my memories?" I asked, my voice shaking.

He sat down and faced me. "When you first ran away with James two years ago, your father knew you had information he didn't want to get out. You've been in the organization long enough that he knew the only way he can let you out is by killing you." he paused. "Lucky for you, the don has a soft spot for you and couldn't even order a hit on you, so he did the next best thing."

"I was able to convince him to try something new. I convinced him to try an experimental procedure to erase those memories and replace them with new ones. Ones that would make you loyal to him and the organization." he stood up, took off his glasses, and started cleaning them.

"Unfortunately, right after we did the final phase of the treatments, Colonel Barnes decided to take it upon himself to take you. He didn't know what he did, so when you didn't recognize who he was, he hid you from us and came back to exact his revenge. Too bad for him, my men are so much stronger than he was, and we overcame him very easily, and he underwent the same treatment as you did." he explained.

I felt like my world was collapsing around me. "You're telling me my entire life has been a lie?" I asked, feeling the weight of the truth settling in my stomach. "Everything I remember, everything I've done, is just a figment of my imagination?"

Dr. Mondrich smirked. "Not everything, my dear. Just the parts that would have made you a liability to the organization. But don't worry, we've replaced those memories with ones that will make you a valuable asset."

I couldn't believe what I was hearing. My memories were erased and replaced with new ones that made me loyal to the organization? That meant I couldn't trust my own thoughts or feelings. Everything I had ever known or experienced could have been a lie.

I shook my head, unable to believe what I was hearing. "And what about James? Did you erase him, too?"

Dr. Mondrich's expression darkened. "James was a mistake. We didn't anticipate your attachment to him. We didn't expect you and him to fall in love, nor did we expect him to hide you so well. After we erased his memories, your father quickly realized his mistake and that he couldn't find you; he demanded that I reverse the procedure, but at that time, there was no way for me to reverse the procedure once it was done, so for the moment your location was a mystery until James remembers."

I felt a surge of anger and betrayal flow through me. They had erased my memories and replaced them with false ones, all for the organization's benefit. And they had taken away the only person I had ever loved. I couldn't even trust my own thoughts or feelings anymore.

"Bring me to James," I demanded.

"Now, doll," Dr. Mondrich started.

"Do not call me that. Bring me to James." I said again.

"Fine," he said.

He snapped his fingers, and two men untied me from the chair. I tried to stand, but my legs were like jelly. I fell to the floor, but the two men caught me and lifted me up, one on each side of me. Dr. Mondrich walked beside us, leading us to another room.

As we walked, I felt like I was on autopilot. My mind was still reeling from everything that had been said and done to me. I had so many questions but didn't know where to begin.

We entered the room, and I saw James tied to a chair, his head slumped forward. My heart ached at the sight of him, but I was also relieved to see him alive.

"James?" I tried yelling, but my voice was hoarse still.

I yanked my arm from the men's hold, and they dropped me to the floor, where I landed with a loud thump. James opened his eyes at this.

"Jianna? Doll?" he whispered.

I turned around and glared at the men, and at this, they decided to leave. I saw them close the door and lock it from the outside.

I crawled over to James and untied him. He fell from the chair, and I can finally see that he's covered with blood and bruises.

"I am so sorry, baby." I kissed him all over his face. "I'm here." I held his face and slowly raised it to look at me. "James. James. Talk to me."

"J? J? Are you real? Are you here?" he reached out and touched my hair. And then he broke down crying.

"They killed you," he said. "You died in my arms. Over and over again." he cried. "They kept killing you, J. They kept killing you. They kept killing you. They kept killing you." he said over and over again. I held James in my arms as he repeated the same statement repeatedly.

I kissed his hair and just held him until he quieted and finally fell asleep in my arms, and all I could do was cry.