I took in a deep breath as I tried to calm my shaking body.
As slowly as ever, I folded the paper before shutting my eyes tight and throwing my head back trying to gain control over my nerves.
After what seemed like forever, I hurriedly went to where I was hiding my earpiece and called for Hugh to come quickly.
Because of my soundproof walls that Hugh helped me install secretly, no one was able to hear my scream earlier which saved me a lot of unwanted explanation.
Hugh didn't take much time before he was knocking on my bedroom door.
I got up on shaky legs and went to open the door.
"April? What's wrong?" He asked as worry started showing on his face. He must've noticed my pale and life-drained face.
Without a word, I stepped aside, giving him access to come in with Gabrielle following suit.
"What happened sweetie?" She asked as she placed a hand on my shoulder.
Honestly, right now, I felt too weak to talk and I knew that if I attempted to let a word out, my voice will be shaky and uneven.
"What's that smell?" Hugh asked with a scrunched-up nose.
I quietly handed him the paper.
He furrowed his eyebrows at me before taking it and started reading.
His eyes widened as they went through the words before they came up to meet mine.
"Th-they know." He stated the obvious.
Gabrielle gasped from beside me, understanding exactly what her mate meant.
Knowing that I had to show them the head sooner or later, I pointed a shaky finger to where it laid on my dirty clothes inside the box.
They both followed my finger, and in a matter of seconds, they were both gasping loudly and Hugh was standing in front of Gabrielle and me as if to shield us with his body.
There is no real threat at the moment, but I guess it's instinctual to shield us with his body in situations like these.
"I-is that the royal beta Oliver Sting?" Hugh gaped out.
"Yeah." I replied in a whisper, finally finding my voice, if only a little.
"We have to get you out of here." Hugh muttered to himself, his words helping me gain back my senses.
"Out of here?" I repeated. "Out of here where Hugh? This is my house, my room!"
"I know that April, but it's dangerous now." Hugh pleaded.
"No. I'm not going anywhere. When was I ever weak or afraid of anyone Hugh? Yeah, they've surprised me and made me poop my heart out, but that doesn't mean that I'll run away." I fought back.
No way am I leaving my place behind and running away like some coward and if anyone of those scumbags want to fight me then I'm ready to take them head on!
"Don't be stubborn April." Hugh growled at me making me growl back.
"It's not your call to make." I snarled at him. "Right now, my room is safe since there is no one else here but us. I'll easily just get rid of that head, lock my door and sleep like a baby." I said, sarcasm dripping with my every word.
But I'm not showing my weakness, not to my parents' killers, not to Hugh and not to anyone. That's not who I am.
Hugh sighed deeply as he ran a hand down his face, knowing that I'm not backing down.
"Okay, just go freshen up and I'll deal with this head and tomorrow we'll see what we'll do." He spoke, more calmly this time.
I let out a sigh of my own.
"Thanks." I murmured as I took heavy steps towards the bathroom. My legs were still a little shaky, but I managed.
As I took a long cold shower, I heard shuffling in my room before the familiar opening and closing of the door.
I sighed deeply.
All I wanted was to go back home and sleep like there is no tomorrow. When I started on that revenge path of mine, I never thought that it would lead up to things like this. And the royal beta to top it all.
I started suspecting that the king is the major head behind everything since, come on, who kills their own beta and use his head as a threat? No one......right? But if anything, I'm now more determined than ever to get those guys and show them who the real boss is.
I sighed again before turning the tap off and drying my body with a towel.
I put on the clothes that I got with me and brushed my teeth before getting out.
Just as I stepped back into my room, I got my second heart attack tonight.
A small gasp escaped my lips when my eyes caught the sight of someone sitting on my mattress.
It didn't take me time to realise though that it was only just Lucian.
He was sitting on my mattress Indian style, his elbows propped on his knees and his fingers connected together where his chin settled on top.
He probably must've entered through the window, but why?
"Lucian?" I called as I stepped closer. His eyes snapped up to me and he was quick to get to his feet and practically run towards me.
"Are you okay April?" He asked, his voice filled with worry and his eyes were scanning my whole body for any injuries.
I just shook my head in response.
"Hugh called and told me what happened. He thought you'll need company." He said, answering my unspoken question.
Company? Do I really need company? I was always struggling on my own with things like these and I keep it all to myself.
Why would it change now?
But as I looked up at Lucian, I realised that under my strong girl persona, I was actually nothing but a broken girl who misses her parents deeply.
A girl who wanted her uncle to stand by her and not turn against her. A girl who missed her best friend and the warmth that her pack members used to provide.
But now that it was all gone, she had nothing but her mate, Hugh, and Gabrielle, and she would latch onto them for dear life, not ready to lose them at all.
Without a word said, I closed the distance between Lucian and I, wrapping my arms around his torso and pulling myself into his chest.
His arms were instantly wrapped around me, engulfing me in their warmth.
"Do you wanna talk about it?" Lucian murmured after a couple minutes of silence and kissed the top of my head.
I shook my head, my face still buried into his hard chest.
"I just wanna go to sleep so this day would just end." I replied and felt Lucian nod his head slightly.
With one arm still around my waist, he tugged me gently towards the mattress.
His eyes fell on it and I heard a small growl vibrate through his chest.
"I hate that you're living like that." He muttered under his breath.
"It's fine Lucian." I replied back, my voice too almost inaudible.
"No it's not. You're an Alpha's daughter and a prince's mate. You should live up to your status." He grumbled with a higher note.
I sighed and went down to the mattress tugging him along with me.
It wasn't big enough for me alone, but Lucian didn't seem to mind its small size as he somehow was able to fit himself right next to me.
We were both sleeping on our sides facing each other, my face hiding in the crook of his neck while his head rested on top of mine.
"Want me to sing you a lullaby?" I heard Lucian ask and could swear that I saw the smirk plastered on his lips.
A small chuckle escaped my lips. "No."
"I have this amazing song that will put you to sleep in no time." He said, ignoring my reply.
"Twinkle, twinkle little star..." He started singing making me burst out into fits of laughter.
"You realise that I had a mother for a whole of thirteen years." I stated more than asked.
"So?" Lucian asked before continuing his song.
I laughed again, not because of the song but because of how he was singing. Truth be told, he wasn't the best of singers and didn't have the best of voices.
"Lucian, stop. You suck at singing." I said between fits of laughter, but he wouldn't stop.
If it wasn't for the soundproof walls, I would've woken the whole pack up.
After what seemed like forever, he finally finished with a grand finale, arms wide open and everything.
He grinned down at me as I tried to stifle my laughter by placing a hand over my grinning mouth.
"You suck." I told him playfully.
"But it got you to laugh right?" He replied with a smirk making my heart melt.
"I couldn't let you go to sleep in that condition." He whispered and tucked a stray hair behind my ear.
I felt heat rise up to my face, so I buried my face again into his chest.
"Honestly," I stated after a while.
"Hmm?"
"I was never so freaked out like I was today." I said truthfully.
Lucian pulled his head slightly to look down at me, his soft, brown orbs boring into mine.
"With my parents, I was afraid, but I knew deep down what was going to happen. But today, it was very unexpected and came as a terrible surprise for me. I didn't know what to do." I ranted.
"Can you believe that? They've reached my room, the box where I kept my clothes." I continued in disbelief.
Lucian's hold on me tightened.
"You can always leave here April. You don't have to live like that anymore."
"And where will I go? And what will I tell Uncle Adam?" I asked.
"That you found your mate and you're going with him. We can go live in my cottage if you won't feel comfortable in the palace or we can just go anywhere else." He replied and I didn't the miss the plead in his tone.
I contemplated on what he said for a moment before sighing.
"I can't Lucian." I shook my head. "My pack's here, Hugh and Gabrielle are here. I can't just go. I don't wanna run away like some coward."
"But..." Lucian started to protest but I shook my head again making him sigh.
He pulled me closer to him if that was even possible returning his head back to its position above mine.
"Just go to sleep now. We'll talk about it later."
I nodded my head before shutting my eyelids, welcoming sleep with open arms.
--
Again, this feeling that I hated so much started to surge through my body.
Again, I started feeling useless and weak.
It was happening over and over, like a never-ending stream, and I was stuck and helpless, again.
I was standing in complete darkness; my feet were stuck to the ground and wouldn't listen to a word my brain was saying. They wouldn't move.
A sudden scream made my head snap up in search for the source of that high-pitched pleading scream.
I couldn't locate it though as the sounds of laughter echoed all around me.
"How pathetic." The voice taunted.
"How weak."
I growled at the sound but even that came out low and weak.
The voice laughed again.
"You can't save them. You'll never save them." The voice sneered smugly and right on cue I saw my parents standing a few meters away.
They were holding each other and smiling at me brightly.
My eyes widened when a dark, large, beast like silhouette of a man appeared behind them.
I tried to scream, to warn them but my voice just won't cooperate.
The beast swayed his arm scratching my parent's image like it was paper and they soon flew with the wind and disappeared. The beast leaving with them.
"You'll never be able to save them." The voice taunted again.
To my side, Lucian appeared, he too having a warm smile on his face.
Unlike my parents, he took a step towards me and reached his hand for me.
"Give me your hand April." He commanded softly, his smile never leaving his face.
I tried reaching for his hand only to find mine restrained by metal shackles.
I fought against them with all my might, but they wouldn't budge.
"Didn't I tell you? You're just too weak." The voice spoke with the same smugness. And just like that, the beast appeared behind Lucian.
"Noooo!" I screamed at the top of my lungs just as the beast swayed his claws and as he scratched along Lucian's image, I felt my body being sucked away.
--
I woke up with a loud gasp. My heartbeats were skyrocketing, and my breathing was anything but even.
I felt the beads of sweat rolling down my forehead and I struggled to say a word with my overly dry mouth.
The dream, or rather the nightmare that I had felt very real to me.
I knew exactly who that beast was, and I'd already been fighting it for seven years now.
The beast was all my fears, weaknesses, and doubts combined. Always there to taunt me, scare me and bring me to my knees.
You can say it was born when the incident with my parents happened and I've been struggling to tame it since then.
I'm not weak. I heard Rose chant inside my head, trying to reassure both herself and me.
I refuse to be weak! She repeated the mantra over and over.
The feeling was mutual, and I wouldn't let the beast inside me win me over. I'm stronger than this.
"You'll never be able to save them." The words echoed in my head like the plaque and I shut my eyes tightly to shake it out.
But what if it's true? What if I really was never able to save the ones that I love just like what happened with my parents?
Am I really so weak?