Chapter 20 I’ll protect you.

Chapter 20 I’ll protect you.
The night had a strange stillness that seemed to stretch on forever. Every sound in the house carried more weight than it should, the whisper of curtains shifting with the wind, the distant ticking of the clock in the hallway, the faint creak of wood as the old walls settled around her.
Selina couldn’t sleep. She lay awake, staring at the ceiling, her thoughts circling endlessly around Alan’s message from earlier: Tomorrow. Meet me at the gatehouse. The words burned through her mind, making rest impossible.
When dawn came, pale and cold, she slipped out of bed and crossed to the window. From there, she could see the vast garden below, the morning mist rolling over the hedges and the stone path that led toward the far end of the property. The gatehouse sat just beyond the trees, small, old, and half-forgotten. It was where Alan wanted her to meet him. It was where, perhaps, everything would change.
By the time Nathan appeared in the doorway, she had already dressed.
“You’re up early,” he said, his tone light but unreadable.
“I couldn’t sleep.”
“Strange. You used to sleep better when I was home.”
Selina forced a small smile. “Maybe I’ve grown restless.”
Nathan studied her for a long moment. “Restless,” he repeated softly, as if testing the word. “Perhaps a change of pace would do you good.”
Her pulse quickened. “What do you mean?”
“I was thinking we should leave the city for a while. Maybe travel, to the coast, or the countryside. Somewhere quiet.”
She hesitated, unsure how to respond. “That sounds… nice.”
“Good.” His gaze held hers for a moment longer than it should have. “You’ll let me know when you’re free, then?”
“Of course,” she said.
He smiled faintly, then left. But even after he was gone, his presence lingered, like the echo of a warning she couldn’t quite hear.
Later, Selina waited until the household had settled into its usual rhythm before slipping outside. Rosa was dusting in the parlor, the cook was in the kitchen, and Nathan had retreated to his study for what he claimed were business calls. She moved quickly down the path, her shawl pulled tight against the chill.
The air smelled faintly of rain. The sky hung low, heavy with clouds that hadn’t yet broken.
When she reached the gatehouse, Alan was already there. He stood near the window, his arms crossed, staring out toward the road.
“You came,” he said without turning.
“I said I would.”
He glanced back, a shadow of a smile tugging at his lips. “I wasn’t sure. You’ve been… hesitant lately.”
She frowned. “Can you blame me? Everything feels like it’s spiraling.”
“Maybe that’s not such a bad thing,” Alan said quietly. “Sometimes you have to let things fall apart before you can start again.”
“Start again?” She laughed softly. “You make it sound like there’s a future in this.”
He turned fully toward her now, eyes steady. “There could be.”
Selina shook her head, pacing a few steps. “You’re being foolish. You know how this ends.”
“I know how it ends if we keep pretending,” he said. “But if we stop, if we decide what we actually want, it could be different.”
“And what do you want, Alan?”
He didn’t answer immediately. When he did, his voice was low, almost a whisper. “You.”
Selina froze. The simplicity of it, just one word, was almost too much.
“You don’t know what you’re saying,” she murmured.
“I do,” he said, stepping closer. “I’ve known since the first time I saw the way he looked through you. I wanted to make you seen again.”
Her throat tightened. “And what happens after he finds out?”
“Then he finds out,” Alan said softly. “Maybe it’s time the truth stopped hiding.”
Selina turned away, her eyes stinging. “You don’t understand. He’s not like you. If he learns what’s been happening, if he even suspects, he’ll destroy everything. Not just me, but you, Karl, everyone.”
Alan’s expression hardened. “Let him try.”
She looked at him, startled by the calm in his tone. “What are you planning?”
“Nothing yet,” he said after a moment. “But I won’t let him hurt you.”
“Alan, ”
He reached for her hand, stopping her words. “Do you trust me?”
She hesitated. “I don’t know anymore.”
“Then trust what you feel,” he said. “That’s the only thing that’s ever been real between us.”
For a long moment, neither of them spoke. Outside, the wind picked up, rustling through the trees.
Finally, Selina sighed. “You think love is enough to protect us from all this?”
Alan smiled faintly. “I don’t think it’s love that protects us. I think it’s the only thing that makes the risk worth taking.”
His words hung in the air, delicate and dangerous.
Before she could respond, a low rumble of thunder echoed across the sky. Alan crossed to the window again, glancing out toward the house. “He’s moving faster than I expected,” he said quietly.
“What do you mean?”
“I saw one of his men near the driveway this morning. He’s not just having you followed, he’s preparing something. Maybe confrontation, maybe worse.”
Selina’s heart thudded. “You think he knows everything?”
“Not yet. But he will soon.”
She pressed a trembling hand to her mouth. “We have to stop this before it’s too late.”
Alan turned back to her, his expression unreadable. “That’s what I’ve been saying.”
He stepped closer again, his voice softening. “Selina, I’m not asking you to choose now. I just need to know that when the moment comes, when it all comes crashing down, you’ll stand with me.”
Her breath caught. “You’re asking me to betray my husband.”
“I’m asking you to stop betraying yourself,” he said quietly.
The words hit her like a blade and a balm all at once. She wanted to protest, to pull away, but she couldn’t. The truth in his voice left her defenseless.
Her eyes met his, and for a second, the world felt very still. Then she nodded, just once, unable to speak.
Alan’s hand brushed her cheek in a gesture that was more reverent than possessive. “Whatever happens next,” he whispered, “I’ll handle it. You just have to trust me.”
She wanted to believe him. God, she wanted to believe him.
But as she left the gatehouse and walked back toward the main house, dread settled heavy in her chest. Every step felt slower, harder. When she reached the back door, she caught sight of movement near the study window, Nathan, standing with his phone pressed to his ear, his gaze fixed on the garden as if he had been waiting for her to return.
Their eyes met for the briefest moment.
He smiled.
Not a warm smile, not the kind that belonged to a husband greeting his wife, but a smile that said he already knew far more than he should.
Selina’s breath hitched. She turned quickly, retreating down the hallway before he could say anything.
That night, the storm finally broke. Rain lashed against the windows, wind howled through the cracks in the old house, and thunder rolled endlessly overhead. Selina sat in her room, the flicker of lightning briefly illuminating the corners of her reflection in the mirror.
Her phone vibrated on the table.
Alan: He’s making a move. Be ready for anything.
Her fingers shook as she typed.
Selina: I can’t keep lying. I feel like I’m drowning.
His reply came fast.
Alan: Then hold on a little longer. After tonight, it’ll all change.
She didn’t know whether to take comfort or fear from those words. She placed the phone face down and stared at her own reflection again.
The woman looking back at her was tired, tired of secrets, tired of fear, tired of the pull between guilt and longing. She wanted to believe that what she and Alan shared was more than desire, more than rebellion. But even love, she realized, could become its own kind of prison.
Somewhere deep in the house, she heard footsteps.
Nathan’s voice, low and steady, drifted through the corridor. He was on the phone again.
“…Yes. Tomorrow morning. I’ll have the evidence then.”
Selina froze.
Her heart began to hammer in her chest. She stepped toward the door, pressing her ear to the wood.
“…She won’t expect it,” Nathan continued. “By the time she realizes, it’ll be too late.”
Selina’s knees nearly gave out. She clutched the edge of the dresser, fighting for breath.
He was going to expose her. Everything, Alan, the garden, the lies.
Tears welled in her eyes as she sank to the floor. How had she gotten here? A year ago, she would have laughed at the thought of secrets, lies, or forbidden love. Now, her entire life revolved around them.
Her phone buzzed again.
Alan: I’ll protect you, Selina. Whatever it takes.
She stared at the message through blurred vision, a tear slipping down her cheek.
Protect me, she thought bitterly. From what? From him, or from myself?
The thunder outside grew louder, shaking the windowpanes. The storm seemed to seep into her bones.
She knew that by morning, something would break. Maybe it would be the lies. Maybe it would be her heart.
Either way, there was no turning back.
As lightning flashed across the sky, Selina whispered into the darkness, her voice trembling.
“What have I done?”
And in that moment, alone, terrified, and tangled in the ruins of everything she once believed, her guilt finally consumed her.
Selina’s guilt peaks, fully realizing the weight of her choices as Nathan prepares to confront her.