Chapter 453 Chapter 453
She put her hand over her heart which had accelerated as he spoke. The work they did sounded dangerous.
He put his hat back on, “don’t worry, Noah is safe. We’re just doing clean-up at this time of year.” He grinned, “tune-ups and painting. We all hate it.”
She nodded and stood where she was.
“What do you think?” He looked around the room.
Emersyn blew out a breath and looked around. “Well, first I-I would open a window and let some air in here.” She had no idea what the smell was, but it bothered her nose. A lot.
“There’s a bit of mildew in here.” Leaning on his cane, a soft look on his face, “go on, have a look around.”
She took a few hesitant steps and then went down the short hallway. The doors were all open, which she was thankful for. A closed door would always haunt her, and she knew that. It had been hard enough to bring herself to close the bathroom door when she had a shower in the house. The first room was small, empty, and very dusty. She looked down to see bootprints on the carpet. Backing out of the room, she went to look in the next door. It was about the same size. In the next, there was a dresser and bedframe, nothing more. Wrapping her arms around her waist, she went over and pulled the curtain aside. Dust billowed out from it. The light from outside made the room look much better. It also allowed her to see the grime on everything. How long had this place sat empty?
She stepped out of the room. “Was the house this dirty?”
Cooper chuckled, “worse. We cleaned things out of there that I’m still not sure I want to know what they were.”
She smiled and looked through the last doorway. It was a bathroom. There was no curtain on the window in here, but the glass was thick with a pattern on it, so no one could see in. Leaning around the door, she looked in the tub and cringed. The smell that offended her system was definitely coming from this room.
She went back out to see he was still sitting leaning on his cane. She felt bad for him, his leg must really hurt in this dampness. Going over to the kitchen area, she opened a few cupboards and looked inside. They were probably the cleanest spots in the whole house. She turned and looked at the big window that overlooked the yard. It would be peaceful to sit there in the morning and wake up, she thought.
“It’s pretty bad,” Cooper said.
Nodding, she turned back to look at him. “There is a lot of cleaning required.”
“Yeah. Think we can salvage the furniture that’s here.”
She looked at the table and chairs, they were wood, so she imagined they’d clean up nicely. The bed had no mattress, so that also would be okay. She nodded. “I think the carpet and curtains should go.”
“I was thinking that too. A lot of the smell might go with them.”
She hugged her waist. It was such a small thing, for someone to ask her opinion, but it made her feel useful and that was rare. At the same time, she felt like she was waiting for the catch. It was nothing against him, it was just what her circumstance had programmed her for.
“So, do you want to give me a hand cleaning up this place?” He leaned back in the dirty chair and looked at her.
She wondered if he wanted it so he could move in here. It made sense. Blair had told them he was going to stay over here and lend a hand, but he was probably used to fewer bodies and less commotion. “I could give you a hand.”
He tapped his cane on the floor. “Great.” His smile was genuine. “I’ll get some of the boys to pull up the carpet, then we can see what we’re dealing with underneath.” He nodded as he looked around, “there’s no rush,” he looked at the door, “but with the painting and non-stop action in the house, this might be a nice quiet place to work too.”
Emersyn nodded. She didn’t blame him for wanting to seek somewhere quiet.
He stood up slowly, making her wonder how the rest of his health was. “I was thinking we’ll put a couple of those motion sensors outside, so no one can sneak up on the house.” He moved over to the door and flicked the lock a few times. “This is a good sturdy lock, should keep anyone out.”
All she could do was nod in agreement. Maybe it wasn’t just her that needed to feel safe. “I can go get some of the supplies from the house and start,” she turned and looked at the kitchen and then to the hallway, “removing some of that smell.” She smirked at him.
“It is awful isn’t it.” He grinned, “you go check on your girl and grab some cleaners, I’m going to open a window or two and try to blow that stink out.” He turned and flicked the switch beside the door. The light came on and then a bulb popped, putting the room in darkness. “I’ll go see if I have more lightbulbs too.” He stepped back from the door.
Emersyn breathed a quick sigh of relief. She’d been trying to build up the courage to walk by him to the door. “I’ll be back shortly.” She gave him a quick polite smile.
“No rush at all, Emersyn, it’s not like we’re going anywhere.”
She hurried toward the house, feeling an odd sense of serenity inside of her. They weren’t going anywhere. This was home from now on. No more being moved from one house of confinement to another of the same.
Smiling, she opened the front door and went inside. Kicking off her shoes, she moved with purpose to the supply closet in the kitchen. Once she got some of the immediate grime out of there, she could bring a few toys and Aspyn could play while she cleaned. She’d never painted before but hoped that Cooper would get her some paint so she could fix up his house for him. He was a nice man and deserved that much.
She wiped the fog from the mirror and stood there clinging to the towel wrapped around her. Turning her head from side to side, she checked again for the mark from the collar. It wasn’t there, yet she would always feel it around her throat. It had been there to control her, control her animal, and now that it was gone, she should feel free. Her memories were never going to let her be completely free.
Her face looked more filled out. She tilted her jaw up and looked at one side, then the other. Had she ever had this much weight on her body? Aside from carrying Aspyn, she had never seen her bones covered in enough tissue to hide them from sight. It made her feel healthy, to look at anyway. The internal damage was always going to remain.
Opening the towel, she looked down at her body. She had curves. Feeling good, she looked back to the mirror and then lifted her right arm and turned. The scar was there. Shaelan said it always would be. Dropping the towel, she touched it. The welt ran from under her arm down her ribs and stopped at the back of her hip.
She drew in a slow breath and tried not to remember, but how could she not when she wore the proof that it had happened. The scar would remind her how she got it every day for the rest of her life. She felt the pain like it was yesterday and not years ago. After they’d dragged her up those stairs, when Noah was trying to stop them—they’d taken her back down hours later and shoved her downstairs. At the bottom lay a bloodied, almost unrecognizable man. It had been Noah. He was to be her example of what happens if you don’t listen. She could still see the man lifting his arm with the leather strap in hand, she’d broken free of their hold and rushed to cover his body with her own. She felt no life within him at that moment and thought they had killed him. The accidental strike on her body had angered the man in charge and for a short while she was treated fairly. The guilt smothered her each day after that. She’d gotten a decent man killed. For years she watched and hoped he’d be one of the men that were assigned to whichever house she was moved to, but she never saw him again and truly believed him to be dead. Noah had been beaten because of her and it wasn’t until she saw him in that basement years later that she found out he was alive.
A tear rolled down her cheek. She wore one scar for him. It was nothing in comparison to those on his body. The marks that she couldn’t look at without seeing blood smeared over them. Her cat moved inside her in a motion of comfort. She sucked in a breath and nodded to herself in the mirror. She was okay. She was free. Her daughter was free. Noah was alive. Those were enough to keep her steady and strong to carry her into the next phase of her life. She’d never thought she’d have a life, so she wasn’t going to waste it.
Picking up the towel, she wrapped it around herself again and went over to the sink to brush her teeth. She’d been in here long enough; she didn’t want to leave Penny with both girls too often. More guilt hit her. Before Aspyn was taken from her, she would never let her out of her sight. Now, she had to force herself to let her move around and have freedom. Eventually, she would run out of things that would distract her from sheltering her constantly again.
As she changed, she realized she felt useful tonight. Helping Cooper with his house had done her more good than she realized. She smiled at the woman in the mirror, the one with rosy cheeks instead of hollow shadows. She looked at her mouth and puckered her lips out. Noah had kissed her. She had never been kissed before. In fact, that’s the only thing she’d been able to fight against with Lindon, keeping his mouth off hers. She wanted to kiss Noah again but had no idea how to go about making that happen. Grabbing the pajamas, she was going to sleep in, she jerked the pants on and kept glancing back in the mirror. The woman in that mirror was not the girl she remembered. Pulling the shirt over her head, she made a face at her, now all she had to do was figure out how to be a free woman. Instead of a scared girl.