Chapter 18 Desolated
18\. Desolated Damien!
Alpha Damien's POV
"I had known you would abandon me after seeking what you needed from me but this... This was not expected from you! I knew I was one of those women who could provide you pleasure but cannot own you. I was a housekeeper in your mansion and a human at the same time. Why didn't you think that it would hurt me. Why didn't you think before playing with me like a toy?"
"Damn it!" I grumbled, throwing my head back in the seat as I struggled to breath fresh air.
Her words still echo in my ears. I never knew Aura would traumatise me like this.
She accused me of hurting her. Her? The woman I have always loved. The one who had clouded my head ever since I've seen her condemned me for playing with her.
My heart aches at the thought itself. I wonder how I could cope with that situation back then!
I was trying to mend things between us... it's all gone now. All in vain.
This was what I always feared. I was aware she will never love me. The recognition of her perspective towards me was always there yet I did not manage to control myself.
She has a lifestyle that varies from mine. I was familiar with the fact that she would never accept me as her life partner— and I made the mistake of drawing closer to her anyway.
Not just her, no woman wants me for a serious relationship except for money and fame. None of them fancies me as who I am but for what title I hold.
It was just her who held a different perspective toward me— at least that's what I inferred. I possibly misunderstood her kindness.
I feel so fucked up!!!
'But it's the women who seduce us. Don't take the blame on your head alone.'
Hunter grumbled showing his disapproval at my thoughts. On a serious note, who cares? The woman I wanted to do anything but misjudge me.... happened to misjudge me in the worst way possible.
'You can explain everything to her, Damien. She seemed guilty.' Hunter offered.
She was guilty. What is the use of such guilt post a serious accusation? The damage happened. Her words did what it intended to— anguish me.
"I do not want to see her again let alone explain anything to her."
I can still picture the scene that took place between us. She didn't let me speak. It was as if she has forever been in a need to communicate those thoughts and I somehow failed to register them.
Her acidic words killed my persistence.
I wanted to make a confession to her and communicate my feelings that I've kept concealed since forever, which is why I invited her to join me on the trip.
But that wrong message and wrong misinterpretation... Huh.
My fingers clenched into a ball. I attempted to clear my head, sadly, I didn't manage to make it happen.
Aura and only Aura ruled my thoughts. It was earlier just my heart and now my brain too.
"Alpha, we've reached the hotel" Jackson, my chauffeur for today as well as custodian for this trip, dislodged my chain of thoughts whilst pulling the car before the hotel.
I nodded in acknowledgement and stepped out of the car, adjusting my coat, trying to get that professional mode on. I can smell arousal around me though there is no presence of a female. Kicking the scents away I faced my driver and instructed, "Get my luggage to my suite and inform the manager to put a DND tag on the door. I will stay in my room for a while."
My cheeks went taut soon as I started a march further inside the hotel.
I took the elevator, avoiding the seductive gazes from the woman at the reception as well as others in the surrounding, before long, I was on the 29th floor.
(a while later)
"What the bloody heck!" I seized the slab of the wash basin in an unyielding grasp as I stood facing the mirror.
My hair was damp and body was trickling with water droplets. I just came out of a hot bath with a dismaying realization that I can't get her out of my head.
I am not able to concentrate on anything.
Hell with concentration, I am unable to forget that incident.
Why can't I forget her? Why isn't she leaving my mind? I have promised myself to not look at her again. Then why can't I avoid the looks of her pretty fade?
Vexation hit the bars and I smacked my right fist in the mirror, fragmenting it.
My temper was higher than ever. I don't recognize feeling this insulted, humiliated and banished before. I never felt this way even when my parents got divorced and left me on my own.
My body was heating in a pool of anguished libido. My hard-on itched and muscles tightened. I was missing her.
I was bloody missing my housekeeper.
I missed her crazily because I lost her forever. Now there will no more be an urge to go back home. No more enthusiasm to finish my work early and prepare to go back home. There is no home. That mansion's transformed back into a colossal building that it was with an end number of servants tending it for its owner who wouldn't go back there for ages.
Yeah, I don't want to go back there. It's hard to control his feelings and her sight would only hurt me more. That's being determined I—
Knock! Knock!
I hissed as the knocking intervened my threatening silence.
Having stormed out of the bathroom I stilled before the door of my suite and pulled it aggressively. It was the driver. His face was a chaos of dreadful features and slight tremor.
He lowered his gaze to avoid any tension in his speech and said, "A-alpha, Beta Brian has left a message for you."
His voice was a whisper and faded towards the end since he caught a sight of my bleeding fist. With the same bleeding fingers I caught him by the collars and yanked him near me, "What part of no interruptions at all was not clear to you?"
He freaked out and melted like a mush in my hold. His shudder coursed through my arm, making my hold weak.
"Apologies, Alpha! Beta Brian commanded me to request you to switch your phone on."
"I'll make myself clear again... That I do not want any interruptions at all. Fuck the beta. Fuck his command. And fuck the entire world... You come again and I'll rip your head off your body."
I jerked him out of the door and slammed it in his face. My back slumped against the door, eyes burned, and body froze in defeat. It's easy to love and hard to accept a breakup.
"I loathe myself for loving you so much, Aurora Collins. You induced the beast in me with your mahogany browns and now left me to survive on my own while I am splintered beyond repair. I so hate myself."
Tbc...
(Ouch, I feel bad for poor Damien. He's heartbroken and misunderstood even though he's not at fault this time. Let's see what happens to him further. Do comment please if you're reading the book)