Chapter 17 Misjudged
17\. Misjudged Alpha and his mourning Housekeeper
My shoulders stiffened and her fingers chilled a degree. I wanted to breathe albeit my lungs refused oxygen as it was weight down deep with bewilderment.
"It feels awkward. Oh my god, I was going to delete it instantly but you saw it. Umm, I don't know what to say. I feel so crazy." She laughed again. Mortification was detectable in her voice.
"I am literally sorry. Though I have deleted it for everyone, please do not—"
The beautiful ember yellow orbs of his glistened up at me,fury and determination coming from their depths.
"Okay, Emily, thanks for the clarification. I owe you for this." He spoke through gritted teeth and disconnected the call even though the woman on the other side had not finished speaking.
Then out of nowhere, he chuckled. He chuckled sarcastically before bringing his welled up eyes on my face.
"What was that?... Yeah, you knew I would abandon you after taking your advantage. You knew I was going to throw you out of my life after seeking physical pleasure from you. And what was that," he pretended to be thinking about my words whereas I stood in my spot with adrenaline filling my veins.
"Da-Damien," I took him wrong. So very wrong.
He was not cheating me. He was not dating two women. It was my assumption. That message was sent to him by mistake! And I was also so mad at him that I didn't think twice before charging at him with nasty accusations.
I couldn't even doubt it to be a trick as he didn't touch his phone ever since then. The message..... Was not for him.
"No no... Let me recollect that phrase... What was it? Oh yeah I got it," He said in a mocking tone as a tear drop cascaded from his left eye.
"That... You are a housekeeper in my mansion but you are a human and I should have thought about your feelings before playing with you like a toy." I marched to him but he shuffled backwards.
"What was that 'I don't deserve you' statement!"
"Damien,"
"No Aura, let me recollect it all." He said, waving his hand in the air, attempting to remember my words.
I was not only regretting but also feeling distressed. Of all the people in the world, I was the only one he trusted. I broke his trust and hurt him beyond the point of cure.
"I am sor—" Earlier than I completed the sentence, he snapped his finger and thumb together and interrupted me, saying that,
"Oh yeah, you said that I deserve to stay alone and that you would be happily able to leave me and this mansion without any regret!." His eyes that had been depicting exasperation softened. The beaming of his tears escalated and his lips curved into a painful smile.
"How can you think like that, Aura?" His voice was low and laced with agony. I moved ahead to touch his arm but he inched away. "Like seriously? How can you even think that I would use and throw you?
"I knew that you think of me as a womaniser.... but I never imagined that you'd think of me as a player who'd play with your dignity." Shaking his head in negative he tried to put his emotions into verbal explanation but failed.
I couldn't stand this. He seemed more than vulnerable. I forcibly grabbed his hand and sobbed near his shoulder, "Damien, I didn't—"
"No Aura, don't you dare say you misunderstood me coz you can't. You can't name it as a mere misunderstanding." He jerked my hand away and distracted his eyes somewhere around in the room.
He was refraining himself from meeting my eyes. And then, while I was sobbing over my stupidity, he smacked his fist in the mirror, taking me by horror and guilt.
"Damien!" I rushed to him but he showed me his bleeding palm, making me freeze right there.
Then his eyes landed on me again as he made the confession I have always wanted to hear,
"Forever... I've been in love with you since forever after I saw you. You were my love at first sight. You had clogged my brain and bewitched me. I wanted to communicate my feelings to you but I found my mate. I was afraid that my rejection would break her heart and I went with her, assuming that you were not in my fate. But..." He choked and looked away, reminiscing the death of his mate. I've seen her pictures, she was gorgeous.
His red face with tearful eyes did not concern me. His bleeding hand did. My eyes were set affixed on the floor at the red pool his blood created.
"I felt like I was revived again when I heard about you. I should be mourning over my mate's death but I was happy... Happy because I could get back with you. You do not know but I instantly came back when I heard about your parents and you, Aurora Collins." Alarm and guilt rippled along my spine as his glance sharply assessed me.
"It was always mutual from my side. I wanted you. I wanted us together. I had badly wanted all of you for myself because you were everything I had forever wished for, Aura. It's that I couldn't tell you. I was afraid of your answer. I feared your rejection. "
"I thought you'll turn me down and the feeling of separation after years of longing held me back. I knew what you thought about me and so I never got the courage to confess my feelings." His eyes emotionlessly stared at me.
I tried to hold him again and usually as before he prevented me from touching his hand.
"Damien, please, you're bleeding." Our eyes tangled as incendiary heat flowed between them.
Her insides quivered and my legs trembled from the shock of him appearing so scattered. So broken. So lonely. And so misjudged.
"Damien, please listen to me." I walked the last few inches toward him nonetheless my cries sparked a flaming emotion in him,
and he jerked away from me, forgetting all about being
careful.
He was stopping himself from coming in any close proximity with me. As if it was a sin. As if I would burn him or rather get burned by his heating skin.
"It was my fault that I tried to find solace in your embrace. It was my fault that I fell for you and started chasing you. It was my fault that I considered you my everything." He choked on the last word. "But now.... I promise you that even if I'll be dying I won't come to you. Not at any cost." He said like he was taking a vow.
With that he dashed out of the room, leaving me in a cacophony of grief and regret.
"Damien, wait.... Damien, listen to me!" I ran behind him, albeit, he was gone.
Sitting inside the car he disappeared without sparing me a glance.
"Damien," I mumbled his name whilst standing at the door of the mansion with my teary eyes, holding my belly.
Soon after his car took off, I came back to my room defeatedly before anybody noticed me. I sat on the floor with a thud and cried my heart out.
I ruined my dream of staying with him. I ruined our future. Alpha Damien would never look at me after today.
Tbc...