Chapter 11: Losing All Control

Azran’s fingers continued their exploration, his thumb circling my sensitive nub with slow, deliberate precision. My body trembled with need, my breath coming in short, gasping pants as waves of pleasure crashed over me in increasing intensity. I could feel myself getting close to something, some peak I’d never reached before, but just as I thought I might tip over the edge, he pulled back.

“No…” he said, his voice rough and low. “Not yet, my Amina.” His fingers withdrew, and I let out a frustrated whimper, my body protesting the loss of his touch. He adjusted himself up, the movement causing me to stumble slightly, still dazed and disoriented from the pleasure he’d awakened in me.

Azran leaned down, his lips brushing against my ear in a way that made me shiver. “Finish your breakfast,” he commanded. “Be a good girl for me.”

I blinked, my eyes slowly focusing on the plate of food still sitting on the table. I’d completely forgotten about it, too lost in the sensations Azran created. With trembling hands, I picked up my fork and took a bite of the pancake, the sweet taste a stark contrast to the intense pleasure still coursing through my body. I ate mechanically, my mind still reeling from what had just happened.

When I was finished, he gently guided me to the chair. His touch lingering on my shoulder just a moment longer than necessary. “You can explore the house while I’m working,” he said, his voice softening slightly. “But stay away from the woods. It’s not safe for you to be wandering around out there alone.”

I nodded, still to overwhelmed to speak, my eyes unable to meet his as he stood before me. There was something in his gaze that made me feel exposed, vulnerable, and I didn’t know how to handle it. He kissed my forehead softly, and my breath hitched. The gesture was gentle and somehow even more confusing than the harsh touches I’d endured before. I didn’t understand what eh wanted from me, didn’t know how to respond to his strange mix of dominance and tenderness. But I nodded, my eyes still unable to hold his as he hummed throatily and turned to leave.

“Till then,” his voice fell upon my ears. “I’ll be in my office. If you need anything, call for me.” He paused at the doorway, glancing back at me with those unsettling blue eyes. “And Kaela? What we started… it’s not over.”

I hadn’t realised I’d been holding my breath.

My heart was still racing from something far more disturbing… it was want. The quiet, aching, dangerous want. Certain of its place. I pressed my fingers into my palm, grounding myself, wondering how something so simple as a touch could rearrange me so completely.

I told myself it was just closeness. Just attention. Attraction to his handsomeness. Those striking blue eyes, that could swallow seas and still would look deeper than anything. That aristocratic nose, chiselled jawline, light stubble and dark hair I wanted to run my hands through. The intensity in his eyes that made me want to look into them but at the same time, I knew I couldn’t hold eye contact.

If he had felt it too, that moment where the air between us thickened, where something unspoken reached out and settled quietly into my chest. The thought unsettled me, yet I didn’t reject it completely. I knew being this close to my master, my buyer would give me a heartbreak of a lifetime. I held it close, turning it over again and again, trying to understand what it meant to want without being asked, to offer without being taken.

I let my gaze drift up before Ii could stop myself an d that was when I saw Eli and Loren, standing just beyond the table, frozen in that awful, unmistakable moment of having seen too much. Enough to make heat flood my face so fast it felt like I might combust where I sat. my breath stuttered, my body suddenly far too aware of itself, of how close I still was to unravelling, of how obvious my reaction must have been.

God.

God, how humiliating.

“I… I’m sorry,” I whispered, the words barely forming as they slipped past my lips. I wasn’t even sure what I was apologizing for but shame has a way of scrambling logic and defy all reasons. I didn’t wait for a response. I couldn’t and turned and almost ran away.

Only when I reached the living area did I stop.

I drew in a deep breath. Then another. My chest rose and fell to fast, my heart still racing, my body still traitorously aware of what had been started and cruelly abandoned. I pressed a hand to my sternum, grounding myself, forcing my thoughts to slow.

Stupid. So damn stupid.

How easily I had been swayed. A touch and a look and a voice lowered just enough to sound like a secret meant only for me. I had let myself forget where I was. Who he was. A beast. I swallowed hard, my throat tight with frustration at him, yet, but mostly at myself.

He’d said he’d be in his office.

I didn’t know if I had the patience, or the stamina, to face him again so soon. Not after being left suspended like that, my body still humming with unanswered want. I wasn’t sure I trusted myself to look at him without giving something away, without resenting him for walking away so composed while I was left in pieces.

Avoid him, I decided. At least for now.

He had told me I could explore the house, after all. The memory surfaced quietly, anchoring me. Something neutral. Something that didn’t involve his hands or his voice or the way he seemed to look straight through me.

I straightened, smoothing my clothes as if that might also smooth the chaos inside me. Exploring felt like the right choice, an excuse to move, to think, to remind myself that I was still in control of something.