Chapter 31

I waited, holding my breath. “of course not.” I let out a breath. Feeling relief. “and to think you’d even think that hurt. I love you, and only you” he held my hands gently, causing me to let out a broken breath. “You’re my forever and I hope you know that” his palm went along my arm, massaging it as it went. He could not stop looking at me.

“You are my love, and honestly, I don’t know how to explain it. But you’re it for me.” My mind went back to the things he said yesterday as he was drunk, I shook my head, there was no need thinking over those things. He was drunk and it was completely obvious since he would on a normal day not say such things or act that way.

I nodded, following closely behind gin into the kitchen.

“you’re here, was wondering what was taking your time” Emily said as she set plates down for the two of us. Something about the way she was wearing my clothes and cooking for all of us made me feel like the third wheel eve. Though Elias was here, holding his head and complaining of how everything was loud and too bright.

He was definitely hungover.

“So Benjamin.” It was like she cast a spell on him. Ben immediately stopped what he was doing and had his attention on her immediately.

At this point, he could be shot in the arm and wouldn’t even notice, that was how much attention he gave to Emily.

“When are we going to see your parents? It’s been long, I want to say hi” I tried to bite down the bit of jealousy I felt as she said that.

Ben never brought up meeting his parents, even though he had claimed to marry me as soon as i was ready.

“I was thinking of going today, after therapy.” I watched how they talked like an old married couple.

She nodded. “I could accompany you, I know how much you hate going to those things alone.” I bit my tongue to prevent me from saying anything that was going to start an argument this morning.

He never let me come with him.

**flash back**

“Hey, you going out?” Ben had packed some things and generally wasn’t in a good mood that morning.

“Yeah, leg therapy” I looked at him. He never mentioned it, I only knew that he went out at random to some places most times but he never told me where.

“yeah? Mind if I come? For support or something.” The look on his face told me that he very much did not appreciate the idea of me going with him.

“I would rather not let you see me when I am at my lowest. I am meant to be someone that can protect you, always being strong for you. Not someone that is weak.

“you are not weak nothing about you screams weak.” He never went into details about his legs, all he told me was that it was an accident. And I didn’t want to go into the subject, afraid that it was going to be a provoking subject for him.

Days went by and each and every time i saw him go to therapy, there was resistance from him.

“For goodness sake Allison!!! It’s annoying when you ask me such!” He yelled one day after he had enough of my asking. I jumped back from surprise. He was never this aggressive, sad and bitter on some occasions other times, he was sweet about it to me

“I just want to be there for you” I said in a pathetic voice.

He just scoffed.”if you really want to be there for me, stay out of my business with therapy, he said, slamming the door as he left. It was a miracle the door was still standing with how much force he used to slam the door shut. I looked at the door.

he was right. I shouldn't have pressured him, i should have just let him be till he was ready to open up, I scolded myself over and over again as I made an excuse for him in my head

**

I looked at the two of them preparing to go to his therapy session together. Something I should be doing. They left, with none of them giving me a second glance.

“You know, I almost feel for you” Elias said from beside me causing me to jump from fright. I had completely forgotten that he was still here.

“Ben might have be in denial all he wants, but he would always be in love with Emily. And you..” he scoffed looking at me from top to feet. “you really think you have a chance with him? I mean look at you” he looked at my bare arm. I was still wearing the short sleeved shirt from yesterday as I not the time to change.

“you really think he would choose this over her” he referred to with so much disgust in his voice.

I cleared my throat. I told myself that no one was going to ruin my day and I was going to keep to that, even though that promise I made to myself was hanging on by a thin thread.

“Excuse me” i entered the bathroom to take a bath, but everywhere I look, Emily’s things were there. It was as if she was mocking me telling me that it was her territory.

I didn’t bother, I walked back out, wore I long sleeve shirt and walked out of the house.

I walked around for a while before my feet brought me back to the place where I found peace yesterday.

The restaurant

I walked in, and this time, I ordered something. I didn’t want to be a nuisance to them. It was the same guy from yesterday, Tobias.

“hey” he smiled as he brought my food over the counter.

“Hi” I said a little breathless.