I know I shouldn't have done it but at the moment, it was the only thing in mind, with those news, having to hear it from a live TV show then my own husband.
Right now as I speak, I'm pacing up and down nervously in a motel. Hoping that he doesn't show up or be in his ignore mood enough that he doesn't notice me, not that he really does.
I just needed to be away from there and get a bit of fresh air, even if it's for the night. I was quite careful about this, though telling Joe I would check in a hotel, I watched him leave and right after, I called a cab and booked a room in a motel, under my mother's name, not wanting to expose Keith being married, as well as myself.
Finally sitting down on the soft bed, I sigh out loud and look around the room for the first time since being here, because I was too in my head to see much. Now that I'm here, I really appreciate what I see, the room is clean( thank God), cream white and soft brown theme, nice and earthy. The silence doesn't even bother me, with my new surroundings, I find myself relaxing and wanting to feed off the atmosphere.
To not drown in my thoughts , mostly surrounding Keith, I get up, deciding to take a nice, long and deserving shower. Wanting to focus on me right now and prepare myself for tomorrow, what I'll say to him when I see him and when he tells me about his Lady friend. The news might have been exposed that early before Keith told me, but I want to hear it from Keith himself, I need to feel that truly his heart has been captured by another, like I'd feared.
2 years I've kept my feelings to myself. 2 years this heart of mine has beat for him while his own, beat just for himself. 2 years I've called out to him yet he never heard me and now 2 years down the line. A few months in and now he's opened a door , for another.
Water running down my body takes me back to the beginning. A 19 year old , highschool graduate who , year in of grieving for her mothers passing, working two jobs. The day care center by day and waitress and cleaner for a big hotel right after. It was tiring at most times but I still held on strong. Right after highschool, I got a place to rent with money I'd saved , working part time at my aunt's friend's diner and picking odd summer jobs during Summer. I guess my mothers sickness awoke my independence and not a day went by where I wasn't working.
I took it upon myself to help my mom any way I could, though a lot of help we received from family and friends. Anyway, after my mother's passing , I guess I took a different route then the planned when in walked Keith Salvatore, the owner of the same hotel I was working in. I watched people tremble at the sight of him and the staff wanting to please him anyway they could. I was alright with working out of sight and watching from afar, but that all changed when one day, he sat at my table. After one serve , his every now and then visit was right at my table until one day he approached me with a proposal that would give my life a turn over.
He told me straight that he believes I'm the right person to be his wife for 6 months during his family's difficult time. His mother who only had 6 months to live, had her last wishes announced, one of them being present at her only son's wedding. A simple request and wish for her son, one Keith intended to fulfil even though marriage was never in his plans.
I'd been told that all I needed to do was make appearances where his mother was, keep her happy, keep out of his way and be a housewife for 6months . His mother, Mrs Anna Salvatore was one sweet lady, it was easier to connect with her and she gave me that motherly love I craved for after my mom's passing. When she passed, it hit Keith hard , though he looked fine in front of everyone, once he was alone, he was just out of control. He took refuge in drinking, disappearing sometimes and locking himself in his office. I tried helping him, getting rid of the alcohol, bringing him home drunk from a pub, taking care of him the best way I could, till now...where he misses her but he's back to himself.
In my help, it had not been easy because of him sometimes insulting me in front of stuff when under influence, trying to make me feel his pain by his words but even then, I still held on...
Shaking the deep thoughts out of mind, I get out of the shower and get myself ready for the night. Once in bed, I take out all the goodies I'd bought for myself, DVD's I'd hired and wait for the pizza I'd ordered. On my way here, I thought why not spend a bit on myself, treat myself in my night out. Like I'd said before that Keith provides for me, he'd told me that whenever I needed money to use, I should tell him. But because I never really did for myself but for things such as groceries and house necessities, he would just deposit money in my account, by the way it is a lot.
Having taken advice from my mother on how to handle money, I'd always take 10 percent of each earning I had from before I met Keith, give tithing and offering to the church, take half of every deposit I receive from Keith, place it in another private account for security purposes. For my own necessities, I use earnings I get from doing surveys, travelling articles online and such.
So having to spend my own money, feels nice . The knocking on the door pauses my movements of changing channels.
Must be the pizza!
Money in hand, I make my way to the door, ready to pay and get back to a night planned, only for it to be thrown out the window, right when I open the door. I come face to face with a blank faced.....
" Keith?" I say, wide eyed in surprise.