Chapter 434: 1-3

I had spoken to Chris before, knowing that one morning he woke up a man about to be married to a woman he only sort of cared for, and the next minute he found out that he had children as old as nine years old. Over night he had to change his life, which he did with no regrets. “I’m bringing a child into this world, and it’s going to be in this world, in a world where things – monsters like this exist. I’m not naive to say I didn’t know it, but… to this extent,” trying to express my current thoughts seemed harder now. “How-” Chris stiffened; a low hiss released silences me. “Ben is coming,” he says warning me. Nodding I just stand, making my way down the porch steps, and sure enough when I walk through the wooded opening, there was Ben entering the clearing to cross and head over to Kayla’s. “Having dinner here?” I asked him, putting on brave face. “Yeah,” he said blushing, his blue eyes avoiding mine. Shaking my head I stood to the side letting him pass and going on my way. . . . I knew bits and pieces about Kieran’s life. I could tell by the way he moved around his room when I was in the room that he had been hurt. Keeping the distance between us, shifting when I moved and he seemed to be hyper aware everything. He had pushed Oakley away, telling her that he wasn’t worth her time and in a way, despite the fact that Oakley and he were suffering, I was impressed that he hadn’t just become codependent on Oakley. And Oakley… she had accepted his desire to be left alone and continued to make progress of her own. From my perspective, I knew what Kieran had done. Afraid that she would leave or disappear on him, he pushed her away before she could hurt him, or abandon him. Which is why I made it a point to show up regularly at his door, even if he would send me away, or was sleeping when I stopped by. I still made that effort. Kieran needed to know that he was worth it. Nona, Chelsea, Gabriel, they all wanted the best for him, but while they would support him, he needed the professional help that they weren’t qualified to give him. Eventually, now that he was spending more time up close to the people here on the island, I knew it would only be a matter of time, until Kieran hit a wall. Until something just clicked inside that head of his, after years of brainwashing, mental, physical and emotional abuse and neglect. He would need someone. For him, for myself and for Oakley I wanted to be that person. If he were okay with that, I would be there. With Kieran I had to start from scratch, first with giving him the correct and true facts. He wasn’t punished, Kieran was abused and before we could even work on that abuse, he had to be the one to see that no matter what he did, good or bad, his actions did not warrant such severe and heinous ‘punishment.’ Keeping my face open, relaxed I let him take the lead in this conversation because Kieran was slow to warm up too. However today, before I had even sat on the sofa he had blurted out that he was ‘taken,’ and the devastation on his face, securely and confirmed for me that words that he had been saying, were finally clicking. “Yes you were taken,” I nodded. With wide grayish blue watery eyes he shakes his head slowly from side to side, “No, I was taken. They didn’t give me away,” he repeats and it’s so sad, that he thinks I don’t already know this. My own heart aches for Kieran right now, “They never sent me away – Carla and Tony – I mean.” Again I nod. I want him to give me his thoughts, his words. I won’t push. I don’t think I need too. “It – it was never about me not listening or being bad,” he whispers looking away from me. “I hadn’t changed, I didn’t – I ran away the day after I was-” he doesn’t voice his abuse. He isn’t there yet. “I didn’t escape because I wanted to be free, I just didn’t want to hurt anyone. Mack could – he could remember what I had said about my – about Carla and Tony.” “It was very brave of you to escape and take them with you.” Sniffling he doesn’t respond. “I didn’t think that we should run to Carla and Tony, they didn’t come get me.” “So you thought they didn’t want you?” He nods slowly. “But – but they r-ran…” his head snaps up, his eyes meeting mine. “They didn’t send me back…” he says in a sob. “I was bad and they didn’t send me back,” he stands and wraps his arms around his self, “we went on the run, trying to hide from the people who took me the first time.” “Because they wanted to protect you, keep you safe, because they never wanted you to be taken Kieran.” He tilts his head back, eyes on the ceiling, his entire body shaking. “They never knew where I was,” he whispers. “I wasn’t taken because I was bad… I was taken because I didn’t listen. Even if I had been bad, they would have kept me,” I hate the question in his voice, but I don’t push, I wait until he becomes so shaky that he steps back and when his calves hit the bed he sinks down to it. He swallows and I remain silent, taking my cues from Kieran, “He took me,” the words monotone. Eerily different compared to everything else he’s said. “It – it wasn’t because I went outside, he was going to take me anyways, he had been watching me,” nothing in his eyes, old and haunted. Tiredness and anguish of an old man, in the eyes of a young man… I rest back, this isn't - I don't believe that this was random. Kierans words right now, they don't hint at a random pickup. "Who was watching you Kieran?" I question him, as he seems to be in locking down in apathy.