Chapter 37

Mikhail.

I was dreaming again.

I knew I was; I was in that memory once more, and no matter how I tried to snap out of the subconscious, I couldn't. I was stuck, stuck in this never-ending nightmare that I knew all too well.

The dream starts in the familiar home I had spent all my childhood. My father was a very rich businessman, the CEO of Ivanshov Constructions, and while he was powerful in all senses, my mother was the complete opposite of him.

She sat beside me, playing the piano she had gotten herself. She had been a music instructor all her life, and her dream was to see me master the skill of playing the piano.

So I sat beside her, ten-year-old me, engulfed in the melody that radiated off the perfect storming of her fingers against the black and white keys.

Her golden hair fell past her shoulders, and her bright blue eyes looked at me as she smiled. There was something soothing about when my mother played the piano. The soft melodies rhymed in my head, calming my nerves, and for a moment, I was lost in the bliss of the sound.

"Bring your hand, Mik," my mother said, pulling me closer to her and placing my fingers on the white keys.

"I'm going to teach you how to play the piano. Place your thumb over this key. It's the C sharp key, and then your index finger here," she said as I followed her instructions.

"Good, my baby boy," she said, kissing me on the cheeks, and I giggled excitedly.

But our moment of joy was cut short when the door to the patio slammed open, revealing a tall man. His dark, long hair fell past his shoulders, and he wore a black suit that hugged his perfect build. But despite his alluring appearance, there was an eternal scowl on his face, and cold grey orbs glared at us.

My father, Igor Ivanshov, was a man of rules, and I had just broken one of them.

"Don't touch the piano."

I gasped in shock, rising up from the seat and staring at him fearfully. My mother was up on her feet immediately, her soft smile had fallen from her face, and her eyes filled with fear of my father.

Neither of us had expected him to get back from his business trip so early. He had said he would be back tomorrow. So what was he doing here? My heart thumped fearfully as I recoiled from the piano as quick as a fox, still keeping my gaze on him.

As he took long strides towards me, I knew better than to run. My palms grew sweaty as I brought them to my lips, covering them fearfully as my eyes burned with unshed tears.

"Igor, please," my mother said, coming to stand in front of me, shielding me from the monster I called father. His dark eyes turned to my mother, and he recoiled his hand and landed it forcefully on her cheek.

She gasped as she fell to the floor, clenching her face in pain and fear. I flinched from the noise and the violence I was already used to.

"Stay out of this, Larisa! I've told you before, don't ever let him touch this stupid instrument. Now he'll pay dearly for it!" My father yelled before turning to me, and I took a step back fearfully.

His strong hands grabbed my wrist, yanking my hands from my mouth. I started to cry, reaching out to my mother who had stood up already, tears running down her cheeks as she held onto me forcefully.

"Please Igor. Please. Just let him go. He's still young. Please," she cried, not bothering to wipe her eyes but instead pulling her arm around me.

"Fuck off, Larisa. I'll only say it once. I'll deal with you after I'm done with him," my father growled, but my mother didn't let go.

My eyes watered, and I felt my tears run down my face as I pushed myself away from my mother, who stared at me with wide eyes.

"I'll be back. Dad just wants to teach me a lesson," I whispered, my voice trembling at the back of my throat as I offered my mother a sad smile.

I heard my father chuckle from beside me before he bent low, meeting my gaze, those dark, cold grey eyes shattering every last piece of courage I had managed to gather.

"You're smarter than I thought. Come," he pulled me away from the patio, my mother's cries resonating in my ears as he led me to the basement.

I started to shiver in fear. This was the first time he would take me there. Usually, he always spanked me or used his belt on me. But this time, he was doing something different, and my blood started to run cold.

The basement was cold, dark, and lonely. I thought as my father took long strides before dragging me across the stairs and pulling the door open.

It felt like the darkness in there was reaching out to me as a blast of cold hit me across the face. I stepped back fearfully.

"You'll be a good boy and stay in there until I let you out," my father said, smirking widely at me before pushing me in and slamming the door shut, taking away the last bit of light along with him.

At first, the shock came, the disbelief that I could actually be in here. Then the fear came next; it crawled in my throat, and I let out a painful scream.

"Dad!" I yelled, hitting my tiny fists against the door, and I tried desperately to get out.

But the darkness only sank deeper into me, engulfing me, filling me with despair, unimaginable pain, and fear.

"Please! Let me out! I won't do it again!" I thumped loudly against the door, my eyes frantically searching for a light switch on the wall but finding none.

A cold gush of wind hit me, and I shivered, imagining all the monsters I had seen in cartoons and movies were in here with me. I started to cry harder, and my breathing came out in short gasps.

I started to shake; my hands trembled, my knees grew weak, and I crashed to the floor, desperately trying to breathe.

"I... I can't breathe," I choked out, reaching my hands above me.

"I can't breathe."

I woke up with a loud gasp, sweat dripping down my face, as I looked around my environment frantically.

My room lights were on, and the door was slightly ajar. I saw Zeus climb onto my bed curiously, and I jumped away from it.

I coughed, and soon I was gasping for breath. My vision became blurry, and I struggled to stay standing.

"My inhaler…" I choked out, desperately trying to reach my table for the inhaler that sat on my desk.

My heart clenched, my throat constricted, blocking out the oxygen from reaching my lungs, as I struggled to take in short gasps of air.

The room suddenly flashed, changing from the bright, big room to the cold and dark basement. I closed my eyes fearfully, crashing to the floor, hyperventilating.

I opened my eyes again and found Zeus pushing something into my mouth. Drops of his spit poured against my face, and I reached for the inhaler he was trying to shove in my mouth.

Pressing it down, air rushed into my lungs, and after repeating the process a few more times, my vision returned, and I sighed, taking deep breaths on my own.

I laid there for a few minutes before I stood up. My knees almost gave out, but I clung to my bed, using it as support as I headed to the curtains, pulling them aside to expose the starry night.

The moonlight pooled into my room, and I took in a deep breath at the scenery. The view overlooked my property, with a huge garden downstairs and a small fountain.

I pulled open the rest of the curtains, making it seem like I was outside before I collapsed in a sitting position. I got Zeus to come beside me, licking my face.

"Thank you, buddy," I said, scratching his head, so he purred before resting against my chest.

This hadn't been the first time I had woken up with panic attacks, and while I used an inhaler to regulate my breathing and get me back to normal, most times it had been out of my reach, and Zeus knew I used it often when I was like this.

Soon, he had started bringing it to me when I couldn't reach it. It was sweet and thoughtful. And it was moments like these I was glad I didn't live completely alone.

Because in the dark, scary nights filled with bad dreams and nightmares, Zeus had been there for me.

I closed my eyes, wondering how this was an effect of missing my medication. Just when I thought I was strong enough and stopped taking them, my past always arose, reminding me that it had gone nowhere.

I threw the inhaler onto the nightstand as I rubbed my face tiredly, glancing at my clock. It was almost four. I had only gotten four hours of sleep.

Sleep filled with nightmares.

The memories of last night resurfaced, and my heart clenched in pain just a little.

Hearing Ava tell me 'no' was both shocking and hurtful. That was the first time I had a request declined by a girl, especially.

But it didn't only bruise my ego; it left this foreign feeling inside of me that I couldn't quite explain.

However, I recognized the anger that heated my blood at the mention of Jayden. That boy again. It annoyed me that she always fell back to him, and it made me curious about their relationship. But unfortunately, Zach hadn't found anything on him yet.

Speaking of Zach, guilt filled me for having left him at the club. With the rejection, foreign feeling, and anger, I couldn't bear to stand there any longer, so I dismissed the driver and sped home.

After an hour of hitting the punching bag in the gym, I finally grew tired and showered before trying to sleep peacefully.

But that hadn't worked out either, as I had a dream of my past that I had tried to forget. Just as the thoughts of my childhood flashed across my mind, I stood up immediately, blocking them out.

It was almost four; I might as well just head over to the bathroom and get ready for work.

And just as I showered, the images of Ava picking up the money Karina had thrown at her flashed across my mind.

Truly, my thoughts were confirmed that Ava was truly just like other girls, and money was the language they all understood.

I smirked as a perfect plan filled my head.