Chapter 85: Chapter 85

Darren

Caden sees Gemma. I know he does, because his gaze stops on her, and his face freezes the same way I know mine just did. Then he shakes himself, like he’s trying to shake off a bad dream or something, and chugs the rest of his beer.

“I need another drink. Then I’m gonna go make the rounds,” he says, and there’s something grim in his voice. He doesn’t sound like he’s having any fun either, but I’m sure he wouldn’t admit that if I called him on it. “You guys coming?”

“Nah, man. I’m good.” I shake my head.

“I ain’t going in there,” Ben says, eyeing the throng of people dancing in the middle of the living room before retreating from the crowd and leaning against a wall like a literal wallflower.

If wallflowers were made of over two hundred pounds of solid muscle and radiated a serious “fuck off” vibe.

Caden wanders off through the packed crowd, and Ben and I chill for a few minutes. We don’t talk, but it’s a comfortable silence. It feels like we’re on the same page about this party, at least. Neither of us really wants to be here anymore.

And that’s when I see Caden on the dance floor. He’s grinding up on some chick I recognize from our Anthropology class like there’s no tomorrow, his hands sliding over her ass as they sway together to the beat of the music.

Motherfucker.

I don’t know why, but the sight pisses me the hell off. It’s probably hypocritical as fuck, because it also pisses me off to think he might have feelings for Kimberley.

But that’s why this makes me so goddamn mad.

He was muttering Kimberley’s name last night in a drunken stupor, and now he looks like he’s trying to find the next warm body he can latch onto so he can fuck Kimberley Smith out of his system.

“Dude,” I say to Ben, jerking my chin toward the dance floor. He looks where I’m indicating, and his expression shutters.

“Is he fucking serious?” His voice is hard.

I don’t know exactly why he’s mad too, but I can tell he is. Probably from the same combination of fucked up, conflicting emotions I’m feeling.

“Apparently.” I huff a breath through my nose. “What an asshole.”

God, this is so fucked up.

I don’t want Kimberley to belong to Caden in any way, but I know a part of her does. And a weirdly protective impulse makes me want to yank Caden away from the girl he’s dancing with and bash his head against the wall for toying with Kimberley’s heart.

Truth? I wish Kim had said yes to me and no to the other two guys.

I wish she had turned down Caden and Ben so that I could be with her. Only me. That’s just the reality of the situation, but sadly, that’s not how things went down.

Now Caden is going to fuck some girl from our Anthro class, probably for revenge, and we’ll all find ourselves back in the fucked up place where we began. I can’t believe that he’s doing this right now.

Dick move, Caden. Dick move.

I look away from the train wreck that I don’t want to witness.

Part of me gets it, at least a little. Part of me thinks Caden’s the only one of us who’s got the right idea. That I should follow his lead and pick a random girl in this house, take her to my room, lock the door, and really get some aggression out.

But that would be layering a dick move onto a dick move, and I don’t even feel like fucking anyone right now.

I want to see Kimberley, goddammit.

It hasn’t even been that long, but it feels like an eternity since the last time I saw her. It’s like I just can’t get enough or something. I love taunting her, I love taking care of her, I love getting under her skin. Anything that has to do with Kimberley, I crave it like a fucking drug. Both the negative and the positive. How fucked up is that?

“He’s playing with fucking fire,” Ben finally says, and I sigh to myself in exhaustion from the whole situation.

A second later, he shoves away from the wall and tosses his empty beer into a trashcan. “Fuck it. I’m getting my ass out of here.”

With Ben gone, I’m left standing alone, staring out at the sea of bodies and wondering if I should leave too. Maybe I’ll go for a walk or something, because there’s no fucking chance I’ll sleep while this party is still raging through the house.

Mind made up, I start to make my way through the crowd, shooting one last look in Caden’s direction. He’s still dancing with that chick, and his features are set in a determined sort of mask. He looks like he’s making himself do this, and I want to punch him in the fucking face—to snap him out of whatever bullshit he’s fallen into.

I know Caden well enough to know that if he sleeps with that girl tonight, he’ll fucking regret it. But for once, I’m not gonna clean up his messes for him. If he wants to self-destruct, he can do it all on his own. I won’t have his back in this.

The house suddenly seems too damn small and claustrophobic. I need air. I shove my way through the crowd, and just as I’m nearing the door, some girl comes up to me and starts grinding on me. I’m taken aback at first, wondering why this chick is all up in my personal space. We’re not even on the dance floor.

“Hey, baby,” she says, putting her arms around my neck and coming in to kiss me.

I push her off of me in disgust. “What the fuck do you think you’re doing?”

“You’re so hot,” she slurs. Clearly, she’s absolutely hammered.

“Yeah, I’m taken,” I tell her shortly, turning away before she can say anything else.

I manage to get out the door, and once I’m in the cool night air, I suck in a deep breath, feeling my lungs expand. Music still pulses from the house behind me, but now that I’m outside of the noise, I can think better.

Why did I tell that girl that I was taken? I’m not.

But even as I tell myself that, a pair of soft brown eyes pop into my head, wide and innocent and so fucking sweet.

They belong to a girl with silky blonde hair that I love to run my fingers through, and a spirit that’s so much stronger than anyone would ever guess.

Maybe I am taken, whether I want to be or not.

Kimberley Smith fucking owns me.

She may not want my heart, but it’s hers anyway.