Chapter 132: "When I'm with you..."

The rain had already stopped when Conrad returned to his quarters.

The entire castle seemed too silent in the early hours of the morning.

Heavy.

As if even the ancient walls felt the tension slowly growing within that kingdom.

Maya was still awake.

Sitting near the closed window of her room, cradling Lysander in her arms as she watched the darkness beyond the walls.

She noticed Conrad the instant he entered.

And she also realized that something was wrong.

More wrong than before.

Conrad closed the door slowly behind him.

Tired.

His shoulders tense.

His golden eyes dulled in a way that immediately tightened her chest.

"You took your time."

Maya's voice came out low.

Soft.

Conrad only nodded slightly before looking away.

That alone was enough for her to understand that the conversation with Steve hadn't ended well.

Lysander slept peacefully in her arms.

Calm.

Silent.

Without shadows.

Without uncontrolled magic.

Conrad watched his son for a few seconds.

And something in his expression wavered.

Pain.

Maya slowly stood up and walked to him.

“Conrad…”

He closed his eyes the instant she touched his arm.

Like a man too tired to continue supporting his own weight.

“What did he say?”

The silence lasted several seconds.

Then Conrad let out a low laugh.

Without any humor.

“That I’m starting to become my father.”

Maya’s heart tightened immediately.

Because that had clearly hit deeper than Conrad wanted to admit.

She gently took his hand.

“You know that’s not true.”

Conrad finally opened his eyes.

And there was fear in them.

Not anger.

Not pride.

True fear.

“What if it is?”

The question pierced Maya like a blade.

Conrad looked away before continuing.

“My father also believed he was protecting the kingdom.” His voice lowered. “He also started by trying to control everything around him.”

The room fell silent.

Lysander made a small, sleepy sound in her arms.

Conrad immediately turned his eyes to his son.

As if just looking at him hurt.

“I see what I’m becoming, Maya.” He ran his hands slowly over his face. “I distrust everyone. I see threat in any approach.” A pause. “Today I almost attacked Steve.”

“Because he provoked you.”

“Because he found my weakness.”

The words came out laden with something worse than anger.

Shame.

Maya approached more slowly until she cupped his face in her hands.

Forcing Conrad to look at her.

“Look at me.”

He hesitated.

But obeyed.

“You’re not your father because you’re afraid.” Her voice was firm. Calm. “You would be like him if you let fear decide who you are.”

Conrad stood still.

His eyes locked on hers.

As if desperately trying to believe those words.

Then his expression finally crumbled.

Not like a king.

Not like an alpha.

Just like an exhausted man.

Maya hugged him carefully while still holding Lysander.

And, for the first time in a long time…

Conrad relaxed.

Just a little.

But enough for Maya to feel his body stop fighting against everything around him.

The room remained silent.

Safe.

Without shadows.

It was as if even the chasm grew further apart when the two finally stopped fighting each other.

Conrad remained motionless for a few seconds within her embrace.

As if he had forgotten how to rest.

As if his own body no longer knew how to relax without expecting an attack at any moment.

Maya felt it immediately.

Felt it in the stiffness of his shoulders.

In his heavy breathing.

In his hands, still tense at his sides.

Then she gently cupped his face again.

“You don’t have to carry everything alone.”

His golden eyes met hers slowly.

Tired.

“I am the king.”

“And he is also my mate.”

That made something in his expression falter.

Pain.

Guilt.

Conrad lowered his eyes for a moment before speaking:

“Sometimes I think I can no longer separate the two things.”

Maya felt her chest tighten.

Because now she understood.

Conrad wasn't just trying to protect the kingdom.

He was trying to prevent his father's fate from befalling his own family.

And that was slowly destroying him.

“I visited my father yesterday,” Conrad suddenly confessed.

Maya remained silent.

Waiting.

“He was playing with pieces of wood.” His voice was distant. “Laughing alone like a child.”

Maya's fingers lightly gripped his clothing.

Conrad rarely spoke about it.

He rarely allowed anyone to see how much the king's situation affected him.

“When I was little…” he continued softly, “I thought he could still go back to normal.” A brief pause. “Now I don’t even know if any part of him is still there.”

The room fell silent again.

Lysander slept peacefully in Maya’s arms, completely oblivious to the weight of that conversation.

Conrad watched his son for a long time.

Then he took a deep breath.

“What if I end up the same way?”

“You won’t.”

“How can you be so sure?”

Maya moved closer slowly until her forehead touched his.

“Because you’re still afraid.”

Conrad frowned slightly.

“Should that reassure me?”

“Yes.” A small, sad smile appeared on her lips. “Men like your father stopped feeling afraid when they started believing they had control over everything.”

His eyes remained locked on hers.

Attentive.

As if absorbing every word.

“You still question your choices.” Maya gently stroked his face. “You still worry about who you might hurt.” Her voice grew lower. “You still suffer for what you might become.”

Conrad slowly closed his eyes.

And Maya noticed.

His hands no longer trembled as before.

“Steve was right about one thing,” Conrad murmured after a few seconds.

She waited.

“I’m tired.”

The honesty in that sentence hurt more than any outburst of anger.

Because Conrad never admitted limits.

Never.

Maya rested her head against his chest carefully.

“Then rest.”

He let out a small, humorless laugh.

“The kingdom won’t stop just because I’m tired.”

“Maybe not.” She looked up at him again. “But I won’t let you face everything alone.”

The silence that followed wasn’t heavy.

For the first time in weeks…

it seemed peaceful.

Lysander stirred sleepily in her arms before partially opening his golden eyes.

Conrad's expression immediately softened as he looked at his son.

It always happened.

As if Lysander could reach the part of him that remained intact.

The baby watched them for a few seconds before calmly falling back asleep.

And something strange happened.

The golden runes discreetly scattered around the room lessened in intensity.

The heavy air disappeared.

Even the constant cold that seemed to accompany the rift faded.

Conrad noticed it too.

“When I’m with you…” he murmured softly, “…the sound of the rift gets weaker.”

Maya's heart tightened slowly.

Then she held his hand tighter.

And that night…

for the first time in a long time…

Conrad finally managed to sleep without fear.