Chapter LV

Maria

One month had passed. I confess I'm getting tired of this routine, especially since she was demanding a lot from me, and I can't take it anymore, to be honest. Even in moments of pleasure, Alex notices that I'm getting tired. If we used to spend more than half an hour, now we make love for a maximum of fifteen minutes.

Moreover, Rosa noticed that I was starting to get stressed too, because every time someone said something to me or wanted me to express my opinion about something, I ended up getting irritated, showing it even more because it's not like me to be this way. I confess that I didn't even know I had this ability to be like this. I only realized it after Rosa mentioned it to me, but not only her, Alex and even Andressa talked to me about it.

Knowing all this, I tried to control myself more because I didn't want to give this impression to others that I'm stressed. To be honest, I'm feeling stressed with this routine. I just wanted a little vacation to spend time with my family, as they mean everything to me. Unfortunately, even with Alex, I still feel alone. Rosa can be a great friend, but as I mentioned before, I miss my family, my uncle, and my grandmother. I even miss Heloísa. I always worry about them and try to find out how they are.

"Then you miss them?" a young woman asked, judging by her accent, probably not from Brazil. She had an Asian appearance, dark hair tied in a ponytail, fair skin, dark eyes, and she wore a red yukata that shone. Her name was Long, and she came from Shanghai, China. She said she loves Brazil and came here to visit.

Her name is Long, and she's 22 years old. I'm impressed that she's a monk.

"Yes, I've always liked Brazil," she said. "But you miss your family, don't you?"

We met at the bus stop, where she's just sharing Buddha's teachings with us, believing it's good for us to have some Buddhist concepts, although we already do. Anyway, life goes on.

"I do," I replied.

We were both talking at the bus stop, and she said, "I know you miss them, but the advice I can give is that I want you to take some time to visit them. Just as you miss them, I'm sure they miss you too, right?"

I looked at her and just nodded.

"By the way, what time is your break?" Long asked.

"Between eleven and three in the afternoon," I replied.

Long just nodded and said, "I want you to meet me in that square during your break. I want to show you something useful."

I just nodded, and the next day, I took my break at noon.

Arriving at the square Long mentioned, I saw her sitting on the ground meditating. I watched her, trying to understand why she was meditating now, knowing she wanted to talk to me about something important that required my presence.

I walked up to her and asked, "Long? Are you there?"

Suddenly, she opened her eyes and, upon seeing me, a big smile appeared on her face. She seemed happy to see me and said, "Please, sit in front of me in the same position."

I just nodded and did exactly what Long wanted me to do.

"Close your eyes," Long said after our eyes met.

As soon as I closed my eyes, Long began guiding the meditation we were doing. In the meantime, she said, "Imagine how you see yourself in five years."

I always imagined myself as a successful photographer, more than I was showing at the moment. However, what I saw was that I was working in a completely different profession, painting pictures. I didn't understand why I was imagining this, but then Long opened her eyes along with me.

To be honest, I was eager to clear this doubt with her because I wanted to know why I had imagined myself painting a picture.

"Long," I called her, and she looked at me curiously, as if wondering what I wanted to say.

"I pictured myself in another situation, and it wasn't as a photographer."

She seemed confused by what I said, but then Long asked, "What did you see?"

"I saw myself painting some things on a canvas, and my painting was turning out very beautiful."

Long smiled at me and replied, "Maybe you saw how your future will really be, or we can go beyond that. I believe another possibility could be that you have a hidden secret within you. A talent or ability, something like that."

When she said that, I confess I was impressed with this additional information.

"Should I dedicate myself to this?" I asked.

Long just nodded but replied, "I think you should see if this is really your talent. However, to know for sure, I recommend not going with ulterior motives to find out, meaning don't think about whether you will or will not, especially since you never know what might happen."

I just nodded and thanked Long for the opportunity to communicate with myself. I would like to keep talking with her, but I have a lot of work right now.