Chapter 125: A Different Path

I look at the injuries some of Ayris’ men have sustained and the guilty washes over me once again. What if Renys is right? What if I am the one endangering everyone? The more I think on it the more sense it makes. I think back to the attacks that happened so long ago now – the women with purple eyes disappearing in the night. The attack during the games – and how the mantis tore its way toward Ayris and I. Several people had said the creature attacks were barely ever heard of – especially so close to the citadel. And now they seem to be a regular occurrence. Whilst it is true that many people are pointing the finger at Zora being responsible, what if I’m also playing a part? Placing everyone here in peril – the people I care about - whilst we try to march our way to the castle for answers.

“I already suspected as much” Ayris states; positively unbothered and shoulders shrugging as he talks with Renys by the fireside. Several of Ayris’ most trusted officers stand at his side; with the inclusion of Kel, of course.

Renys cocks an eyebrow at Ayris’ blasé attitude and stifles a half smirk. Several of Ayris’ men, on the other hand, look positively confused.

“It stands to reason that if Zora is behind the attacks that the creatures may be capable of doing her bidding, rather than just simply carrying out random attacks. My little velatha has already escaped that witch’s clutches once; I could imagine she’d be livid that her prisoner was broken out right beneath her nose”.

Kel and Ayris both smile and nod, the acknowledgement of Kel’s part in freeing me from who-knows-what kind of fate trapped in that dark box. I inwardly shudder at the memory of it. Like every spark of hope and energy was slowly being sapped from my mind and body.

“Truthfully, I’m not sure we could have completed the jailbreak without Laurel” Kel laughs. No doubt referring to the lightning bolt that helped us escape the walls of the castle grounds.

Renys turns his attention to me and speaks softly in my head.

“You showed the witch your power, Laurel? She knows of your full capabilities?”

I nod; taking a breath before explaining – the mantis attack at the games, the memory of Ayris telling me of the taken women. All of it. There were dozens of witnesses; any of whom could have taken words to Zora. Not to mention the escape from the castle. The evidence of what I’d done would have been laid bare for her to see.

Renys’ face is one of understanding.

“You think it’s me, don’t you?” the sour taste of the words falling from my mouth makes me feel wretched. “The mantis attacks have been about me the whole time”

Renys nods gently.

“Impossible” Kel scoffs; no doubt enjoying finding yet another thing to disagree with Renys about. “Short round didn’t even have any powers, or barely any when all this started – the attacks at Canbridge were long before anyone knew what she was capable of”

“The reception at the citadel, perhaps? I knew Laurel’s eyes would attract unwanted attention” Ayris chimes in “But we still assumed Laurel was human then, there were no powers to speak of”

Renys shakes his head. “If Laurel’s powers had not yet developed, it seems unlikely the witch would have known, although it is not impossible, I suppose”

Everyone stands silently for a moment, unsure how to proceed. I take my opportunity.

“I want them removed” I say, the words sounding far bolder than I feel at the moment.

Everyone looks puzzled, aside from Renys, and I suddenly realise that I hadn’t yet discussed what Reys and I had spoken about.

“Renys said he could remove my powers. I want to do it, to keep everyone safe”

“Absolutely fucking not” Ayris hisses.

“Ayris, it’s my decision-”

“No, Laurel. You are in enough danger without having your only defences stripped from you”

It’s been a while since I’ve seen Ayris this way – angry and domineering. I can’t help but rage against it, against the thought that he would try to control my actions without even listening to me.

“It’s my body, Ayris, I should get to decide-”

“And what of the pup?” Ayris’ voice carries menace and it would be terrifying if I didn’t know that it’s mostly borne of fear for my safety.

“Renys says it can be done safely. The baby wouldn’t be harmed, isn’t that so?”

Renys nods his head.

“And why does Renys get final say in what happens to my mate and my pup?!”

The rage spread across Ayris’ face almost puts a tremble in my hands. I squeeze them tightly, my resolve growing with every angry word.

“My lack of defences didn’t seem to bother you when you sent me to that cabin. I managed to defend myself well enough then and I can do it again now”

The words hit Ayris like a fist to the gut, and I watch as the guilt and shame wash over him. My face flushes with shame the moment I finish speaking and I try to take it back, but the damage is done.

Rain falls in sheets, and despite our detour through the dense trees I can hear the way it lashes. I glance upwards and feel a wave of nausea wash over me.

“Here”  Renys hands me a silver flask and I sip gingerly at the contents. Whilst the liquid is cold, it feels warming as I drink it.

Silence falls heavy between us as Bess makes her way through the difficult terrain without complaint.  The lexara and their fae mounts seem to have a far more effortless ride as the horses struggle to keep pace. The air grows thicker and the forest feels almost oppressive as we get closer to our destination. Guilt twist and turns my belly as I recall the words Ayris and I spoke to one another before we left. Whilst I don’t feel ashamed for voicing my thoughts, I do regret the way I did it. Using the past to score points in an argument is not the type of person I am. I tried my best to apologise before we set off, but Ayris held up his hand and said it was fine.

That made me feel even worse.

Not so long back the man seemed terrifying to me. The giant Lycan commander with an entire infantry of warriors hanging on his every word. But now I miss him already. My big, tender mate. The man who opened up to me and shaped himself into my perfect partner – and I threw his past in his face so callously.

My head is so deep in thoughts that I jump as Kel approaches my side.

“He’ll be alright. A is as tough as they come”

I nod.

“You both made things right between you before we left, didn’t you?”

I shrug. “He said there was nothing to forgive, that it didn’t matter”

Kel is silent for a beat.

“He wouldn’t say it if he didn’t mean it, lass. Come now, less moping, it can’t be good for you in your condition. We all say things we don’t mean in the heat of the moment”

I force a half smile to curve my mouth and Kel seems appeased.

The forest grows darker and I know we’re getting closer, I sense Kel staying almost fastened to Bess’ side as we approach. I try not to panic, but I can’t help but wonder if this was the right decision as Renys strides ahead, seeming to know the way by feeling alone. This whole plan seems like madness given the stories I was told-

“Don’t show it your fear” Renys says, his deep, smooth voice forcing the back of my neck to prickle.

“It’s fucking hard not to” Kel breathes, suddenly realising what he’s said and who he’s said it to as his eyebrows wrinkle in annoyance.

I know the only reason Kel is here is because he doesn't trust Renys or his men. I know it killed Ayris that he couldn’t come with us, but he felt his presence was needed back with the rest of the infantry. All nine of us sit upon our respective steeds and stare into the darkness beyond. Kel to my right and Renys behind, followed by Nicolai, two of Renys men and three soldiers Ayris had personally chosen for the mission.

“Is it like a portal?” I ask, the hair upon my head feeling as though its lifting as we make our approach.

“Not exactly” Renys replies “Think of it as more of a shortcut. A portal can instantly transport you from one place to another in a single stride. This is more of a secret passageway”

You still have to make your way through the passage, but nobody will know you’re there”

The way Renys had explained it, it was like a blanket would be placed over us, the mantis wouldn’t be able to sense us at all. He said that time and distance worked differently once we were inside. That it may feel like a day, a week or even less than that, but that we would be able to navigate the distance in a much shorter space of time. When I’d suggested that surely it would make more sense for all of us to go through this way, Renys had dismissed it. Said that it would draw too much attention and that the veil was not meant to be pierced in that way. A small band of men and myself could traverse the terrain safely without drawing unnecessary attention.

“And they won’t be able to track me here?” I ask, “You’re sure?”

“I am” Renys replies as he strides in front, bowing his head to the inky blackness before us.

“Who’s to say the creatures wouldn’t follow us through?” Kel asks, his tone guarded and his hand resting upon the hilt of his sword.

“The feeling in your belly – the dread and fear, it is there for a reason” Renys replies “I imagine the mantis would be no different”

“It makes you feel that way, so you won’t go in?” I ask

“Partly” Renys responds, turning to face me. Kel huffs in annoyance.

“Stop speaking in riddles, man”

Renys chuckles.

“Instinct is a funny thing, Sir. It is there to keep you alive. To keep you safe. Your body is fighting against this place-

“Because we can all sense the danger inside it” I finish his sentence and Renys chuckles whilst nodding.

“Quite so”

“Some of the beings in The Gloom are far worse than any mantis”

I sigh deeply as i watch renys disappear into the gloomy blackness. Bess is resistant but I coax her into following behind as the darkness engulfs us. The sensation of my flesh freezing my and blood boiling in my veins is nauseating. But it’s not the murky gloom that alarms me; it’s the feeling of stillness. And decay.