Chapter 44

I'd been discharged from the hospital a week ago. I'd been indoors since then. Always locked my door.

Mum had been trying to get me out of my room, trying to talk to me, but it hurt. I couldn't look her in the eyes without feeling betrayed.

She would knock on my door, urging to open the door for hours, but I didn't open the door. I needed space.

It hurt.

Its pain.

I was folding the masala (praying mat) when my room door was knocked.

I paused for a while before saying, "who is there?"

"It's me, sis," I heard Maryam's hoarse voice. She had been crying.

It hurt me to hurt them.

"What do you want?" I asked her coldly. Turning my back away from the door as if she could see me.

"I just want to see you," her voice crossed.

"No, I'm busy," I replied curtly.

"Sophia, open this damn door now before I break it down," she growled angrily. "And trust me, I will," she banged the door heavily. I was shocked. I knew she could break the door as she promised.

"No," I whispered.

"Open the door now!" she screamed. I went to the door and unlocked it. I didn't want a damaged door.

I moved away from her. "Sweetie," she called softly, moving closer to me.

"Sophia, you know deep down in your heart that we are sorry. It wasn't intentional to hurt you or keep you in the dark," she said smoothly as if it was easy.

I moved away from her and faced her. "It was not intentional." I scoffed. "Then, what was it?" I asked sarcastically.

I moved closer to her and poked her on her chest. "You hurt me," I said brokenly. "You broke my trust in you," I screamed.

"It was said by Yusuf's parents not to tell you..." I cut her off by screaming at her.

"Cut the crap. Hurt me with the damn truth. Never freaking 'comfort' me with lies." I was breathing heavily.

"I know, sis, but..." she trailed off.

"But...what?"

"I'm sorry, please just forgive me," she begged, "I hate the distance between us," she cried.

"I too hate it, but I don't think I can't forget what you guys did. It hurt me," I sobbed, "You all lied to me, and you know I detest being lied to." I cried.

"I'm sorry, Sophia," she pleaded remorsefully.

What is done is done can never be undone.

"I forgive all of you, but I can never forget the pains you guys made me go through," I seethed.

"Thank you for forgiving me," she sniffed. "Yusuf's parents and Ustadz are waiting for you downstairs," she said.

"OK, I'm coming," I replied, but before she went out of the door, I called out to her. "Remember, trust is like a mirror. When it gets broken, it can never be fixed back to its original form again."

I locked the door after her and put on my black Abaya before going out of the room.

"Assalamualaikum," I greeted everyone. Mom, Yusuf, and Maryam were sitting at the three-seater chair. Yusuf's parents were sitting at the two-seater chair while my Ustadz was sitting at the armchair.

"Walaikum Salam Wa Rahmatullah wabarakatuh," they all replied in unison.

"Please, sit down," My Ustadz said, then I sat on the floor.

"Innal hamda lillah..." Ustadz stated. He faced me and said, "Umu Abdullahi, I heard everything that happened recently. I was told by your mom," he cleared his throat and continued, "she asked me to come to you because she knows maybe Allah can use me to make you forgive them," I looked downcast.

"Umu Abdullahi, I know what they did hurt you, but can you find in you to forgive them because we human beings are not perfect are we are bound to make mistakes? Even though we make mistakes to Allah and we ask for forgiveness, He, the greatest forgiver, forgives us," he said calmly.

"Just remember prophet Yusuf (As), who was betrayed by his own brother. This is your challenge and test. Allah tests those who He loves the most," as he said this, I felt like crying and poured my heart to Allah. He was testing me. He was testing my faith.

What have I faced?

I've not faced the grain of what the companions of the prophet (SAW) faced, and here I was lamenting. Here I was crying.

"And if you are in a problem, there's no way out. Remember prophet Yunus (As), who was stuck in the belly of a whale. Surely Allah showed him the way. Allah will also surely show you the way. It might be hard now, sister, in deen, but everything will later become history," I was crying heavily. I crawled to my mom's leg. I just needed a motherly comfort.

"I'm sorry, ma, for shutting you out. I'm sorry, ma..." I hiccuped while she wiped my tears and pecked my forehead.

"I understand, baby. I'm also sorry," she cried.

"The Prophet (SAW) said: The greatest reward comes from the greatest trial. When Allah loves people, He tests them, and whoever accepts it gains the pleasure of Allah, and whoever complains, earns His wrath. May He saves us from His wrath and punishment," he lectured.

He stood up ready to leave our melodramatic family reunion, but not before saying, "Oh Allah, help us to remember you, to be grateful to you, and to worship you in an excellent manner!" and we all replied with "Ameen."

Yusuf's mother came to me and held my hand, stroking it gently. "We are sorry to use our selfishness to hurt you, my wife," she said softly, still stroking my hands, "we don't mean to hurt you. It was the doctor's order. The doctor said Yusuf's memory loss might be short term or long term. After Yusuf's accident, Yusuf was in a coma for two years before he opened his eyes. We wanted him to wake up before we told you he was alive, but when he woke up and we talked to him about you, he did not remember you. We wished to tell you, but the doctor said we shouldn't do anything that can trigger his memory because his brain could unexpectedly shut down. That was why we kept it from you. We were selfish. We didn't want to lose our only son. But we forget that humans are like water, water does flow from one place to another and meets another,'' she told me softly while tears were streaming down from her eyes. "We are sorry," her body shook with emotions.

I was short of words. Yusuf had gone through so much pain.

Two years without opening his eyes, without feeling the world.

And here I was crying that they kept it from me.

She pulled me into a bear hug, "Khadijah was Yusuf's nurse when he woke up, she was there with him. She took care of him and helped him stand fit again. We hired her as his private nurse. She and Yusuf teach at Abdullahi's school, but she knows you are Yusuf's wife," Yusuf's father chirped in.

"I understand," I replied weakly.

The front door opened and revealed my son practically dragging Khadijah.

"Assalamualaykum," they said while we replied, and I dislodged my hands from Yusuf's mother's hands and quickly wiped my eyes before Abdullahi noticed because I knew he would ask what happened to me.

That boy was inquisitive.

"Mom, tea-cher wants to see you," he said happily.

Not teacher, dear, your soon to be a stepmother. I thought.

"Oh ma'am and pa, I didn't know you would be here," she joked lightly.

"What are you doing here?" Yusuf's mother asked her coldly, scrutinizing her while she scrunched her nose in mockery.

"I never liked her," I heard Yusuf's mother say under her breath, but I heard her clearly.

"I just came to see her, not you, old woman," she sneered at her.

"Don't you know she's an elder?" I asked her.

"Yea, an elderly person that snoops around," she seethed, "whatever, I just came here to give you our invitation card. Yusuf, my soon-to-be husband, and you are invited with my," she eyed up Abdullahi, "soon-to-be stepson," she threw the invitation card at me then walked out.

"That witch," Yusuf's mother breathed heavily, "Ever since my son proposed to her, she has been misbehaving," she said sadly.

I smiled softly and said what made everyone open their mouths and gape at me:

"I'm going to the wedding, and I shall make Yusuf remember me."