Chapter 48: A Deeper Bond
April
I'm awakened by what seems like loud knocking at my door, but I dismiss it as a dream since it's two in the morning. I try to ignore it and fall back asleep, but the knocking starts again.
“What the hell?” I groan.
“It can only be one person,” Corbin says from the spot next to me.
He was here when I returned home from dinner and remains here.
"Could you check, please? Just to see if it's some random person?” I sigh and sit up, running my fingers through my hair.
Why would Corran be at my door at this hour? Corbin nods and checks, returning soon after. “It’s Corran. He seems upset or perhaps stressed.”
“I should answer. I am sorry, my love. There must be something wrong if he is knocking at this hour, knowing I have work tomorrow. You can stay in here. Hopefully, it won't take long.”
“It is fine. I will come back later. There is clearly something wrong. I love you.”
“I love you too.” I smile, and he vanishes.
I wrap a dressing gown around myself because I only have a tank top and a pair of Corbin boxers that I managed to keep. I held onto many of his belongings, and I don’t think I’ll ever be able to let go of them. I switch the hall light on, heading to answer the door.
“Corran, is everything okay?” I ask tiredly.
He stands outside my door in joggers and a T-shirt, looking tired and tense.
Corran rubs the back of his neck. “I am sorry it is late. I can’t sleep. What happened at the restaurant is getting to me. I reached for a bottle of Scotch, but I came here instead. I hope you don’t mind.”
I prefer him to come here rather than drink. I nod and move aside. “Come in. No, I don’t mind. You’ve been a blessing to me this past week; the least I can do is help you as best I can.”
“Thank you,” he replies, strolling in.
I lock up behind us, and we head to the living room, where we take a seat on the sofa.
“How did you know it was me? You said my name without looking up.”
“It couldn’t be anyone else. Can I get you anything?”
He shakes his head. “Can I crash here on your sofa tonight? If not, it is fine.”
“Yes, of course. You don’t need to sleep on the sofa. You can sleep next to me if you want. It may help you sleep better to have someone beside you. So, what is going on? Why is what he said getting to you?”
Corran sighs and leans back on the sofa. “It’s making me feel guilty, even though I haven’t done anything wrong.”
I place my hand on his knee, and he looks at me. “Corran, I understand, but as you said, you have no reason to doubt yourself. You haven’t done anything wrong. Don't let him control your thoughts. I know it's easier said than done, but you can’t. You're still free to live your life, and as you told him, you and I are not together.”
I resent Andrew for causing Corran to feel this way. He has no right to do so.
“I know, but I can’t get his words out of my head.”
"Corran, he is a bitter man, haunted by guilt over being a poor father, and he's venting that anger on you. He's not worth the pain," I say gently, squeezing his knee.
He nods but doesn’t speak. It can’t be easy to deal with, but he really shouldn’t believe all the crap Andrew said to him.
I get up from the sofa and move in front of him, extending my hand. “Come on, let’s go to bed.”
Corran looks up at me, managing a gentle smile as he takes my hand. I help him to his feet and lead him to my bedroom. I don’t mind him sleeping beside me — it’s likely what he needs. No one wants to be alone when they’re not feeling well.
“Are you certain you don’t mind if I sleep in bed with you?”
“No, not at all," I say with a smile, lifting the covers and climbing in.
I pat the space next to me that Corbin had occupied only ten minutes earlier, encouraging Corran to slip in too. He hesitates for a moment but does.
“Thank you, April.”
“That is what friends are for.” I smile before switching the lamp off.
Corran shifts restlessly until I come closer and rest my hand on his chest. Without speaking, I curl into his side, and he wraps his arm around me securely. I rest my head on his chest, feeling his entire body relax.
“Get some rest, Corran.”
“I will. Goodnight, April.”
“Goodnight, Corran.”
It only takes a few minutes for his breathing to stabilise and for him to drift off to sleep. I’m relieved that coming here was exactly what he needed to rest. Although we agreed to be just friends, we still fulfil each other's emotional needs. No matter how much I resist or try to ignore it, our connection is stronger than we admit, but neither of us is in a position to act on it.
Sighing, I clear my mind of every thought and close my eyes, hoping sleep will take over me again. It takes a moment, but I ease and slowly drift off, keeping myself close to Corran. He may be gone before I wake, but that is okay. If he is, it won’t be for any bad reason. It will only be because he had to. We are past the stage of running away from each other. Tomorrow is a new day, or should I say today, given the time, and hopefully it will be a better one for him.
Corran mutters in his sleep. I can’t quite hear what he's saying, but I catch him mentioning Edin’s name. He's probably dreaming of her. I hope he's having a pleasant dream, with her reassuring him that everything is fine. He doesn’t appear upset, so it likely isn't a bad dream. I smile quietly, careful not to wake him, and turn my attention back to my sleep.