Chapter Nineteen: Lacey
I watched Ezra from across the sand, trying to ignore the pitiful sensation in my chest that made it difficult to breathe. He had been chatting up a young woman with a beautiful smile. She was grinning at him, leaning in to flirt like so many women had done before her. And Ezra seemed to be soaking it all up, basking in the glory of a woman beside me who finally noticed him.
“It looks like Elijah finally introduced Ezra to Sandy,” Ava said innocently, her eyes following mine to the scene across the beach. “Don’t worry. She’s a sweet girl, one of my best friends.”
“She’s cute,” I commented, and Ava smiled.
“Is that—is that okay with you?” she asked. “You and Ezra, you aren’t—involved, right?”
“He’s his own person. He can do whatever he wants.” I shook my head, hoping that the expression on my face was more convincing than I felt it would be.
Ava was quiet for a moment as she considered this. I could tell she wasn’t entirely convinced, but that wasn’t my problem. Hell, even I wasn’t wholly convinced of anything at all.
“I know some single guys I could introduce you to,” said Ava. “Friends of Elijah. Would you be interested?”
I turned away, hoping the booze wouldn’t come back up with a vengeance. I almost shook my head no, but then my eyes landed once more on the scene between Ezra and Sandy. Ezra was laughing at something she’d said, and Sandy reached out to touch his arm provocatively, batting her eyelashes at him.
“I’m getting pretty tired,” I said to Ava, setting my drink down. “I don’t want to be hungover for the wedding. But thanks for the offer.”
“Of course,” she said, looking entirely unconvinced. “Maybe tomorrow?”
“That sounds nice,” I lied. The truth was, I didn’t want to be set up. I didn’t want to hook up. I wanted Ezra, and that was the problem. “You should get some rest, too,” I added with a grin. “You’re getting married tomorrow.”
She smiled, looking absolutely thrilled. “I know. I can hardly wait.”
“See you tomorrow, pretty lady.”
Without looking at Ezra again, I turned my back and walked away, heading back up the moonlit path and towards the hotel, where I rode the elevator up to our floor. I felt lonely suddenly without Ezra by my side, but just thinking about him and Sandy down on the beach made my stomach hurt, and my eyes sting with tears. What had I expected? Dedication? Exclusivity? Commitment? Of course not. It was Ezra.
But still, somehow, I’d let myself fall for him. Over and over again.
I had no idea how long he’d be or if he’d come back to the room. Still, instead of climbing into the king bed, I grabbed some extra linens from the hallway closet and made a bed on the stiff couch in the seating area before changing into my pajamas and lying down on it. The room was quiet and dark, lonely, but I needed privacy. My emotions were all over the place, and part of me wanted to go back downstairs and ask Ava to find me the closest guy that would be down to hook up. If Ezra could do it, so could I.
Of course, I wasn’t that person. The void Ezra left in my heart couldn’t just be filled by a random fuck like it could for him. I didn’t function that way, and he did. So, if a pity party was what I needed, that’s what I’d do.