Chapter 62: Chapter Sixty-two

It sounded awesome, especially considering I’d been in Scotland for over four years and I hadn’t gone further than St. Andrews. “Sounds great. Where is it exactly?”

“Argyll.”

“Oh.” That wasn’t the highlands, was it? “Isn’t Argyll in the west?”

As if he read my mind, Tom grinned. “It’s the western highlands. It’s beautiful, trust me.”

“You sold me at the Loch,” I exaggerated the ‘ch’ sound like he did. “Just tell me when, and I’m there.”

At that, Tom looked affectionately amused. “Sex and holidays.”

“Uh, what?”

“I’m making a list of things that make you agreeable.”

I scoffed, pushing my foot into his leg. “And all you got is sex and vacations?”

“The length of the list is not my fault.” “Are you saying I’m disagreeable?”

He raised an eyebrow. “Woman, how stupid do you think I am? You really think I’m answering that? I want to get laid tonight.”

I pushed him harder. “Watch it, or you might get laid to rest.” Tom threw his head back and laughed.

Scowling but not really meaning it, I turned back to the movie. “You’re lucky you’re good in bed.”

“Oh.” He grabbed at my foot. “I think you keep me around for other reasons.”

I slanted him a look out of the corner of my eye. “Right now, for the life of me I can’t think what those reasons are.”

Tom tugged harder on my foot, raising his fingers towards it. “Take it back or the foot gets it.”

Oh hell no! I yanked at my appendage. “Tom, no.”

Deaf to my warning, he started to tickle me, his grip tightening as I laughed breathlessly and kicked out, trying to get free.

He wouldn’t stop.

Ruthless!

“Tom,” I panted hysterically, attempting to shove at him with my arms but struggling as he continued his war on my feet. I laughed harder, ribs aching, and then . . . horror.

I broke wind.

Big time.

Tom immediately let go of my feet, his loud, rumbling laugh filling the room, laughter that only deepened when I lost balance, from kicking out at him and then being abruptly let go, and fell off the couch with an undignified thud.

Mortified as he collapsed against the couch belly laughing at my fart then fall, I grabbed a cushion and launched it at him from my position on the floor.

Of course this only made the idiot laugh harder.

I warred between feeling humiliation at farting in front of him, something you just didn’t do in company, and laughing, since his was so infectious. “Tom!” I whined. “Shut up. It’s not funny,” I huffed, my lips caught in part smile, part grimace.

“Oh babe,” he tried to catch his breath, wiping a tear from the corner of his eye as he grinned down at me. “That was definitely funny.” He held out a hand to help me up.

I slapped it away. “You’re such an immature a-hole.” “Hey, I’m not the one who just let off.”

Oh God, it was so awful. I groaned, falling onto my back and covering my eyes with my hands.

“Whatson,” I felt his hand on my knee and heard the amusement in his voice. “Babe, why are you so embarrassed? It was just a fart. Brilliantly timed I might add.”

I sucked in the mortification. “Oh my God, shut up.” He chuckled again and I snapped open my furious eyes. “You’re enjoying this!”

“Well yeah,” he huffed, eyes bright. “I’ve never seen you embarrassed before. Even when I walked in on you naked you gave me attitude and acted like you didn’t care. That you’re mortified by a fart is really quite adorable.”

“I am not adorable!”

“Oh I think you are.”

“I am cool and self-possessed,” I argued. “Cool and self-possessed people do not break wind. You, in particular, are not supposed to know that I break wind!”

His lips twitched. “I hate to tell you this, babe, but I already knew that you broke wind. Part of the human condition and all that.”

I shook my head defiantly. “We should just end it now. All the mystery is gone.”

Tom was laughing hard again as he reached down to pull me up by the waist. I was in the middle of letting him help me when the crash and thud sounded from the kitchen. Our eyes flew to each other, our laughter dying.

“Emelie?” Tom shouted out in question. Silence.

“Emelie!”

When she didn’t call back, my eyes widened on his and I jumped to my feet because Tom had already let me go to run through the apartment.

“Emelie!” I heard him cry out, and the fear in his voice had me picking up speed.

The sight that greeted me in the kitchen floored me. I stood frozen, watching as Tom kneeled on the floor, his hands hovering over Emelie whose body twitched in convulsions, her eyes fluttering rapidly, her mouth slack. “Emelie?” Tom’s pale face snapped up to me. “Call 999. I think she’s having some kind of seizure.”

I rushed out of the room, adrenaline making my hands shake and my coordination clumsy as I grabbed for the phone on my bedside table and dropped it. Fumbling, I cursed, utter fear choking me as I hurried back into the hall as the operator picked up. “Emergency, what service do you require? Fire, police or ambulance?”

“She just passed out.” Tom sat next to her helpless as her body went limp. “I don’t know what do? Fuck, I don’t know what to do.”

“Ambulance.” I heard the line go on hold and then two seconds later the ambulance control room picked up. “My roommate,” I spoke breathlessly into the phone, panicking because Tom of all people was panicking. “We heard a crash and we rushed into the kitchen and she was convulsing and now she’s unconscious.”

“What telephone number are you calling from?” I rhymed it off impatiently.

“What is your exact location?”

Trying not to get angry at the robo-speak of the woman on the end of the line, I rhymed the address off too.

“Is this your roommate’s first seizure?”

“Yes!” I snapped.

“What age is your roommate?”

“Twenty-three.”

“Is she breathing?”

“She’s breathing, Tom, right?”

He nodded, his jaw clenched as he watched me.

“Okay, can you move your roommate into the recovery position as a precaution?”

“Recovery position,” I repeated to Tom and watched as he immediately re-arranged her gently.

“The ambulance is on its way. Please keep any pets out of the way of the ambulance crew when they arrive.”

“We don’t have pets.”

“Okay. Please stay on the line until the ambulance arrives.”

“Tom,” I whispered, still shaking. “What’s going on?”

He shook his head as he brushed Emelie’s hair off her face. “I don’t know.”

A noise drew us up tense. A noise from Emelie.

I rushed over to them, falling to my knees to bend over her. Another groan escaped Emelie’s mouth as her head turned slowly. “Wha . . .” her eyes flickered open, dazed. And then they widened as she saw us hovering over her. “What happened?”