Chapter 41: Don´t say anyone
"I found out I was pregnant a month after the funeral," she informs me. "I called you, but you didn't answer the call."
I don't feel any resentment from her part, but it doesn't feel good to hear this.
"I don't blame you, anyway. I just wanted you to know about this new gift," she says as she continues patting the baby. "Her name is Raven. That name represents mystery, just like her existence. It means healing, just like she was for me after the loss of my little brother. It means transformation, because just by knowing she was coming, she transformed us into parents, uncles, and grandparents." She smiles.
"Us?" I murmur. I still haven't processed the existence of the baby.
"Raven is your niece and your gift of life too," she turns her and hands her to me wrapped in blankets. "Don't you want to hold her for a moment and see for yourself?"
My chest trembles a little. Raven, who has a name so similar to that of her biological uncle, is a very beautiful baby girl. She is so… small. If my calculations are correct, she must be one or two days old. The delicacy of her figure disarms and reassembles me ten thousand times. Faven would have been overjoyed to see her… Not literally. He always wanted to be an uncle or a father. Whichever came first. The sad thing is that he didn't have the opportunity for either.
I am a dullard who can't even take care of himself. I don't see myself capable of bringing a child into the world to suffer because of my inexperience, but… holding Raven in my arms feels a little strange. I expected to feel bad, but I feel… alive. I am feeling the warmth of her existence and I can begin to understand a little of what Liry said a couple of minutes ago.
"She looks a lot like you, Liry," I whisper. "She is beautiful."
The smell of the room alters my senses and makes me dizzy. Or maybe it's the familiarity of the smell. The Radiohead posters on the walls, along with that pile of books on human psychology and self-help, belong to the person who left us on February 18: Faven.
That oppressive feeling returns to my chest as I come across a photo album that he never allowed me to look at. I know I should respect his wishes, but curiosity tempts me like a little child. Plus… I aspire to see him. Too much.
After taking a deep breath, I finally open it before regretting it. Yes, I just had a problem with Angus Hope for being a jerk who leaves, and here I am potentially getting in trouble again if I'm discovered.
The first photo is of young Faven. Not serious enough to be hidden. Did he like being so mysterious from the beginning? I'm about to move on to the next picture, but the crying of a… baby? throws me off. Why the fuck is a baby crying?
I put the album back in its place, and just as I leave, I come across Mr. Angus Hope, who seems to want to enter the room I just came out of. I nod my head and try to mumble a "sorry," but he doesn't respond. He just turns and goes towards the room where the baby's crying has significantly diminished.
Curiosity is killing me. I must admit that I can have Dakota's gossip cravings when I set my mind to it. So I go down the stairs one by one until I reach the main room. And… well. There seems to be some sort of… family gathering? Chad finally showed up. Even Mickey, the damn dog that I didn't see when I arrived, is lying there between the patio and the living room. And, indeed, there is a baby. It's… a girl. She is in Liry's arms, who seems to be breastfeeding her.
"A baby…" I end up saying out loud. It seems they weren't expecting me, because everyone, except for Angus Hope, jumps. "Who had a baby?"
Liry smiles at how absurd the question is. I know she's too kind to mock me directly, but I also know that if she were in a really good mood, she could tease me with some quip just like Faven used to do.
"Well, Eron. I'm going to explain the cycle of life to you…" Chad slides an arm over my eyes. What the hell. "You know when a woman and a man love each other? Things happen, and then a little seed expands and…"The first photo is of young Faven. Not serious enough to be hidden. Did he like being so mysterious from the beginning? I'm about to move on to the next picture, but the crying of a… baby? throws me off. Why the fuck is a baby crying?
I put the album back in its place, and just as I leave, I come across Mr. Angus Hope, who seems to want to enter the room I just came out of. I nod my head and try to mumble a "sorry," but he doesn't respond. He just turns and goes towards the room where the baby's crying has significantly diminished.
Curiosity is killing me. I must admit that I can have Dakota's gossip cravings when I set my mind to it. So I go down the stairs one by one until I reach the main room. And… well. There seems to be some sort of… family gathering? Chad finally showed up. Even Mickey, the damn dog that I didn't see when I arrived, is lying there between the patio and the living room. And, indeed, there is a baby. It's… a girl. She is in Liry's arms, who seems to be breastfeeding her.
"A baby…" I end up saying out loud. It seems they weren't expecting me, because everyone, except for Angus Hope, jumps. "Who had a baby?"
Liry smiles at how absurd the question is. I know she's too kind to mock me directly, but I also know that if she were in a really good mood, she could tease me with some quip just like Faven used to do.
"Well, Eron. I'm going to explain the cycle of life to you…" Chad slides an arm over my eyes. What the hell. "You know when a woman and a man love each other? Things happen, and then a little seed expands and…"