Chapter 11: Chapter Eleven

“What did she say?” Sara called from inside the shower.

Buck tried to find his voice. Tried to figure out how exactly to ask what he had to know as he walked into the bathroom.

Sara opened the curtain and peeked out. Her sexy grin faded. “What’s wrong?”

Still he didn’t answer, and she ducked back behind the curtain. He could see her quickly rinsing her hair and then she turned the water off, grabbed a towel off the rack and wrapped it around her body without even toweling her hair.

“What’s wrong? What happened? Are you okay?”’ She padded across the room where he leaned against the sink, his arms crossed over his chest.

“Charli left you a very interesting voice mail.”

Sara’s eyes searched his. “Why, what did she say? What’s wrong?”

“She said she didn’t want to meet for dinner.”

“No?” Her brow furrowed.

“Nope. She thought maybe you and I would want to be alone.”

He clenched his teeth and forced himself not to let his fury out until he heard from her.

Sara’s face relaxed and she smiled up at him. “Good, now we can do whatever we want to tonight.” She reached for a towel and bent forward to wrap her hair. “Maybe we should go to that place down the road with the band. Toby Keith’s drummer’s best friend is playing there and he said—”

“Tell me what you’ve decided about the Will.” Buck glared.

She frowned and stepped back a pace. “What do you mean?”

“You know what I mean. Tell me that last night meant you’ve given up the insane idea of marrying Cord.”

Uncertainty crossed her face and set him on fire. He reached out to clasp her upper arms.

“Hey! Cut it out, let go of me,” she complained, squirming.

He held her firm. “Look me in the eye and tell me you aren’t marrying Cord!”

Sara narrowed her eyes, her face bright red. She jerked hard in his hold and, for a second, he squeezed tighter but let her go rather than get into something physical. She stormed into the bedroom. He followed right behind.

From the other side of the room, she hiked her towel up higher. “I’m not thinking about that this week.”

Buck’s eyes grew wide. “You’re not thinking about it this week meaning it’s on your agenda for next week?”

Sara tossed her head and lifted her chin. The stubbornness was setting in and he knew there was about to be a real battle. Fine. He was more than in the mood.

“I don’t know when I’m going to think about it. But not now.”

“And obviously, not last night, this morning or this afternoon either,” he yelled.

“Are you complaining? Because honestly, I don’t remember you complaining a few minutes ago or any of the other times.”

Buck’s temper was about to explode. He wanted to shove something through a wall and the only one in front of him was Sara. “What the hell game are you playing?”

“I’m not playing games. You started this. You kissed me and then—”

“Kissed you, Sara. Kissed you! Not made love with you, not...” He waved his hands in the air. “Damn it! What the hell has gotten into you?”

She tipped her head and slammed her hands on her hips. “A few minutes ago it was you. But now I see nothing but a big jackass!”

His mouth dropped open. “What was last night all about then? Why did you suddenly decide we should sleep together?”

“Why do you have to go and analyze it? Why do you have to ruin everything?”

Buck shook his head and tried to calm down, but he couldn’t think of what to do. Panic made his chest tighten. “I can’t believe you even started all that last night. I can’t believe you could do that and still think you might marry my brother.”

She crossed her arms over her chest and thrust out her chin, but he saw the hurt creep into her eyes. Maybe he needed to approach this another way. Maybe he could try to reason with her. He took a step towards her, his hand out. “Honey, you can’t seriously think that after all we’ve shared, I’m going to let you marry Cord.”

“You don’t get to make that decision.”

“Like hell I don’t,” he roared.

She narrowed her eyes and he was reminded of how she looked when she was a kid and defied her father. He threw his hands up in disgust, grabbed his T-shirt of the chair and shoved it on. Without looking back, he stormed out of the suite.

Sara sank to the carpet and wrapped her arms around her drawn up knees. She wasn’t a crier, but tears of frustration and anger stung her eyes. She drew several deep breaths. Idiot. Not her—him. He was such a big idiot. She didn’t even know what she was thinking anymore. She knew that marrying Cord wasn’t going to work. The very idea of doing what she and Buck had done with anyone else was repulsive.

But it wasn’t up to Buck to tell her what to do with her life. He wasn’t declaring his forever love for her. He wasn’t saying that he knew she loved him too and they’d figure this all out together. No, he was bellowing as if he suddenly owned her. Did he think that because they’d slept together he could now tell her what to do as if she was his possession?

Her temper flared again as she stood and got dressed. She had no clue where Buck had gone or when he was coming back, but she wasn’t about to sit around and wait for him. By the time he cooled off and came back ready to apologize, she’d be out enjoying herself.

But several hours later, after having tried to kill as much time as she could, he hadn’t returned. When midnight came and went and he still wasn’t back, she packed her things. The hell with him. If he wanted to pout and stay out all night, let him. She set her suitcase by the door and went to bed. Tomorrow morning, bright and early, he better be ready to get on the road.

Close to two in the morning, she heard him come in. She closed her eyes tight in case he came to her room but he didn’t. She heard him go to bed and then it was quiet. Her heart ached with disappointment. She’d held hope he’d walked off his temper and was ready to apologize.

She and Buck had fought before—they both had explosive tempers. Usually once they cooled off, though, they were fine. This felt different. There was more involved this time than simply who was right and who was wrong. She curled up in a ball and tried to block out the memory of last night. His muscular chest had been her pillow, his heart the lullaby that lulled her to sleep. For twenty-five years, she’d slept alone. Now, after one night with him, she already missed sleeping in his arms. How could he think she would do that with him if she was still thinking of marrying Cord?

Yes, giving up control of her half of the ranch was going to be a tough pill to swallow, but if it meant that she could have what she had with Buck, then it was worth it. Somehow she’d adjust and get used to someone else making decisions about her family’s business.

What was Buck doing? Was he awake? What would he do if she crawled into his bed and snuggled up to him? Would he push her away? Or would he tell her he was sorry and hold her until they both fell asleep?

She frowned. Why should she be the one to go to him? He stormed out. He didn’t even come back and try to talk to her. No, it wasn’t up to her to make the first move, this was his problem. He thought he knew her so well, obviously he didn’t.

Her mood worsened as the night dragged into dawn and she finally climbed out of bed.

Buck was reading the newspaper and drinking coffee when she came out of her room. He glanced over then back at his paper. “Good. I want to get on the road.”

Sara poured herself a cup of coffee. “I thought we were going to stay an extra few days.”

Buck’s pointed gaze drifted to her suitcase by the door. “No you didn’t. I have things to do and want to get back, so drink up and let’s go.”

Sara obstinately sipped her coffee. “Who died and left you boss?” she asked to be nasty.

Buck folded his newspaper neatly and stood, pushing in the chair to the dinette table. Warmth spread through her face remembering what they’d done on that table less than twenty four hours earlier.

He shrugged. “Take a plane home then, but I’m leaving in thirty minutes with or without you.”

He walked into his room and shut the door. She glared, half ready to take him up on the idea or, heck, maybe she’d stay here. How would he like that?

****

Buck kept his attention on the road and did everything he could to ignore his passenger. It wasn’t really all that difficult considering she kept her eyes firmly glued straight ahead and wasn’t speaking to him either. Less than a week, five days, was all they’d been gone. When they left, she was mad at him because he was going with her, and now going home, he was the one angry. Although, from the rigidness of her posture, she was just as pissed off.

Tough. He’d had a long time on his own to think last night and he’d come to the conclusion that he could play this game just fine. She had set out to have a good time and that’s what he gave her, just like any other woman he’d had a fling with—usually a bit more cordial when it ended, but he just couldn’t bring himself to make pleasantries right now.

Two hours into the trip, she must have been seething inside because she turned and blurted, “I can’t believe you ruined the rest of the trip!”

Buck shrugged. “I’ve got no regrets. You were great, I had a blast. I told you that. Hell, babe, we both got what we wanted. Wasn’t that the goal you and Charli discussed? Get it out of your system so you can do your family duty and marry Cord.”

“I never said that.”

He glanced at her, sick at himself for the hope that flared to life in his chest. “So you’re not?”

She glared back then faced front again. “I didn’t say that either.”

He nodded. “So back to square one. What are you wanting from me? A thank you? Okay, thanks for getting it off with me—it certainly made a boring livestock show a bit more entertaining.”

“You’re disgusting.”

“I’m disgusting?” He laughed harshly. “You’re tearing up the sheets with me when you’re all but engaged to my brother!”

“You make it sound like I was thinking about it while we were—”

“No, that’s one thing I won’t say. You knew exactly who you were with if the way you screamed my name was any indication.” He snapped his fingers and then pointed at her. “Speaking of which, you better watch that. It wouldn’t be very cool if you called out my name while you and Cord were doing the wild thing.” His voice rose and he clenched his fist against the steering wheel.

She was not going to get a rise out of him. She got what she wanted this weekend, and he’d be damned if he’d ever let her know that it crushed him to discover the real reason behind her sudden desire for him.

“If you weren’t driving, I’d smack you so hard right now.”

She wanted to hit him? How the hell did she think he felt? “Why? Because you can’t handle the truth?” He jerked the truck to the side of the highway and slammed it into park. Sliding his arm along the back of the seat, he half turned to face her. “Well, here’s another little truth you better think about, Miss Experience.” She glared but, to her credit, didn’t shrink away so he went for the bullseye. “We didn’t use protection.”

Her face blanched. Yep, as usual, Sara dove in head first without even thinking about the consequences of what she was doing. “That’s right, Miss Woman-of-the-World. Your little redheaded friend didn’t remind you about that did she? So, now you have a really big dilemma.” He leaned over until his face was bare inches from hers. He slid his hand across her flat belly ignoring how much he wanted her, even now. “You might be carrying my baby.”

She smacked his hand away.

“I’ll be watching you like a hawk. If I even so much as suspect you’re pregnant, I will make sure everyone knows who did it.” His breath heated her face as he glared. “Everyone.” He leaned back slowly. “Just in case you’re thinking maybe you could somehow get around this and pretend it’s Cord’s.”

“I would never...”

Buck shook his head, not even caring what she was going to say. “That’s right you won’t, because I don’t think even my noble big brother would step in and marry you while you’ve got my child growing inside you.”

“I’m not marrying you,” she retorted.

He laughed and moved back behind the steering wheel. “I don’t recall asking.”

Sara’s face went even redder and she stared straight ahead. He knew her mind was whirling. He’d bet she was ready to pee her pants right now. Good. Damn, she was so naïve at times. What if he’d been someone else? Her predicament could be even worse.

He’d thought about the repercussions as soon as they started fooling around and could have used a condom, but he didn’t bother. A condom was when you needed to protect yourself from disease or an unwanted pregnancy. He had no worries about the first, and the second was something he’d dreamed about for a long time. Having a baby with Sara, marrying her on their family’s land and living together happily-ever-after wasn’t exactly something he wanted to avoid.

Yeah, he’d been a fool. Even worse, he figured she thought the same thing at the time and that’s why she never brought the subject of protection up either. He should have realized she’d just plow head-first into the moment with no plan in sight.

When he heard the distinct sound of a sniffle, he swung his head around but she kept hers turned toward the side window. Guilt clutched his heart for about thirty seconds. No, she brought all this on herself.

What the heck was he going to do about her? His chest hurt and his head pounded from way too much booze and lack of sleep. He pulled the truck back onto the highway and ignored her. Everything they’d ever had...gone, ruined. A lifetime of friendship completely destroyed. Her words from a few weeks back haunted him and, for once, he had to agree with her. Sex did muck up friendship.

Even if she went home and decided not to marry Cord, he didn’t know if he could get past the fact that she’d used him to make up her mind. She hadn’t slept with him because she wanted him or wanted to deepen the friendship they already had. No, she’d done it to get some experience and find out what sex was all about. How could he ever get past that?

****

Sara walked through the front door and dropped her suitcase in the foyer. The house was eerily quiet. She headed to the kitchen, but Flo wasn’t there. The washing machine chugged in the mud room, so someone had been there recently. She glanced up as Susan walked in.

“Hey, I didn’t know you were back.” Her sister set a plate and cup on the counter.

“Just got back. Where is everyone?”

Sara opened the refrigerator and reached for a diet cola, then pulled her hand back—caffeine—even she knew you should lay off the caffeine if you were pregnant. Her stomach heaved and her throat clenched. She clung to the refrigerator door as panic washed over her again. What if Buck is right? Swallowing down the bile in her throat, she grabbed a bottle of water as if that had been her intent all along. She drank half of it before shutting the door.

Susan stared at her. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing, just tired. It was a long week.” Sara shrugged and finished the water. “I’m going to take a shower and unpack.”

“You do look like hell.” Her younger sister eyed her speculatively. “By the way, Diane heard back from the lawyer in New York. I’m afraid everything is just as Jackson explained it. Daddy made sure there were no loopholes. You either marry Cord or lose the ranch.”

Sara sank to the kitchen chair. Her entire body began to shake. Somehow, deep inside, she really hoped the other lawyers would find something, anything to help her out of this nightmare. She swallowed hard and dropped her head into her hands as tears filled her eyes. Her chest hurt as if she had major heartburn.

Susan’s arms suddenly wrapped around her, drawing Sara’s head down against her sister’s chest. “We talked with him for hours, honey. That Will is tighter than a hangman’s knot.”

Sara allowed herself the luxury of Susan’s comfort. Tears filled her eyes and she bit hard on her bottom lip but her shoulders jerked with a choked back sob. In less than twenty four hours, she’d loved and lost her best friend, and any hope for the Will being straightened out.

She gave a small push and Susan let her go. Sara swiped at the tears on her face and wiped her hands on her jeans. Susan squeezed her shoulder once more before slipping into a chair across from her. With her sister’s eyes watching her intently, she drew several deep breaths.

“When did you get back? I didn’t hear the truck.” Diane walked in the room carrying laundry.

Sara frowned at the basket. “Where’s Flo?”

Diane kept going into the laundry room. “She’s gone up to Brownsville for a few weeks. Her sister broke her hip and her niece is due with twins any day.”

Her brow lifted. “Who’s been doing the cooking?”

Susan threw a hand up. “Not me. I told her to call someone, but she wanted to do it.”

Diane returned to the kitchen. “It’s no big deal. Flo keeps everything stocked and most of the guys have been good about fending for themselves.”

Her sister took down a plate of brownies from the cupboard and set them on the table. Sara eyed them, but her appetite was gone, even her sister’s ooey-gooey caramel delights didn’t tempt her.

“We were talking about the Will, and what the lawyer said,” Susan offered.

“I thought for sure there was something he could find, but he said the same thing Jake did. Texas laws are notorious for this type of thing.”

Diane’s hand came down to cover her own and Sara glanced down at them. What a contrast to her own. Diane’s nails were long enough to be polished, but not the long talons like Charli and Susan had. Her sister’s skin was creamy white and looked as soft as the nose of a horse, whereas her own skin was a deep golden brown from years working outside. Her nails were chipped, and small white scars covered her hands from various cuts and scrapes acquired over time.

“You know, from the time you were in high school you knew you were going to work as a designer,” she began quietly. “You studied and worked hard and just went for it. It was in your blood because of Mom, and now look at you.” She glanced up and met her older sister’s gaze. “You have a fantastic career, a great life in New York City and you know exactly who you are.” She swallowed and turned to Susan. “The hottest talent on the big screen today and fastest rising star in the industry,” she quoted from the latest People magazine article about her younger sister. “You’ve been acting and singing since you were born—it’s who you are.”

The tears welled up again. “I thought I was the same way. All my life, I knew what my future held, what I’d be doing. I knew I was going to have to run this side of the partnership someday, that I’d be the one everyone came to for answers. I worked hard to learn everything I could. I paid attention whenever Dad talked about something I wasn’t familiar with. I read every magazine article, and anything else I could find about ranching.” She swallowed hard as it became harder to breathe. “Now, I don’t know what I am. I don’t know where I fit in. How can everything you thought about, worked towards and dreamed your life to be changed with a few words on a piece of paper?” Her voice rasped out, barely a whisper now. “I don’t know what I’m supposed to do with the rest of my life.”

She wanted to say more. Wanted to spill everything about the kiss with Buck after the poker game, the talk with Charli, her mixed up emotions about Cord, what happened with Buck yesterday, and the mess she might really be in now, but couldn’t get anything past the thickness in her throat.

She saw in her sisters’ faces that they had no idea what to say. At least they understood why she felt like she did about their ranch, or at least she thought they did.

Diane squeezed her shoulder. “This was supposed to be your legacy and now everything’s changed. It’s a huge thing. Add to that this crazy stipulation Daddy tossed in and it’s a wonder you haven’t lost your mind.”

“I hoped that getting away and hanging out with Buck would have helped, but you seem worse than when you left,” Susan added softly.

She brushed back her hair and grasped the opening given. “Actually, going away changed everything again and not in a good way.”

Susan leaned forward. “You aren’t still considering marrying Cord are you?”

“Where is he?” Sara glanced past her sister to the hallway. If she was going to talk to them about Buck and Cord, she needed to know the older Weston wasn’t within earshot.

“He’s in the den. He’s supposed to rest but you can’t tell that man anything,” Diane answered.

Her heart pounded. She lifted the bottle of water to her mouth and drank, then slowly set it down. Drawing a deep breath, she straightened her spine. “I need to tell you guys something.”

“Hey, how was Houston?” Teddy pushed the back door open and stomped inside.

Sara flopped back in her chair as Teddy reached between the women to grab two brownies before moving to the refrigerator.

Susan rolled her eyes and tossed her hair as she pushed to her feet. “I gotta get back to town. I won’t be home until late, but if you want to talk tomorrow, I’ll be around all day.”

There was an apology in her gaze to Sara but she didn’t offer any other explanation, simply turned on her heel and walked out. “Where’s she going?” she asked.

Teddy sneered. “She’s hanging out with that moron Brad down at the playhouse.”

“Why does that bother you so much?” Diane asked.

He shrugged, drank his milk in one long swallow and set his glass in the sink. “I heard you had a great meeting with the guys from that ranch in Melbourne.”

Sara nodded, glad to have something to discuss that didn’t deal with her emotions. “Yeah, they’ve got some techniques that sounded pretty amazing.”

“Hey, I’m in if you and Buck are going to Australia.”

At the mention of Buck’s name, Sara’s face flamed and nausea drifted through her stomach. The room was way too warm.

Diane touched her hand. “Do you feel okay? You’re really white.”

She nodded and pushed her chair back. “We had a really long week.” She tried for a light laugh but cringed at how forced it sounded. “You know how the Stock Show is, a party every night, go all day. Did I tell you? We ran into Charli Boyd.”

Teddy whistled. “How is that gal? Crazy as ever? I need to give her a call and see what’s new.”

Sara headed towards the back door. “Yeah, you should have seen her on Toby Keith’s tour bus. I think she’s dating his drummer now. I’m...uh...going out to the barn. Maybe take Travis out for a run.”

She vaguely heard Diane and Teddy laugh and Charli’s name mentioned again as she made her escape.

Grateful to get out of the house before Cord tracked her down, she saddled Travis and gave him what she rarely did, her unspoken permission to go as fast as he wanted...wherever he wanted.

With the wind hitting her face, she lowered her head to the side of his neck and just hung on. Images of Buck and their night together ran through her head like a movie. She forced them out, and did her best to empty her mind. A run like this always cleared her head—somehow today, though, she doubted it was going to work.

****

“How’d the week go?”

Buck slouched in the overstuffed leather chair and watched Cord struggle to find a comfortable position behind the desk. He winced as his brother’s face broke out in a sweat. “Shouldn’t you be in bed or something?”

Cord glared. “Don’t start. Diane’s been fussing at me all week.”

Buck shrugged. “Maybe ‘cause you need to be in bed.”

His older brother took a long, deep breath and sat perfectly still. “They don’t even tape up the damn things anymore. Hurts like hell.”

“What about the pain pills? You taking those?”

Cord shook his head. “Just when I go to bed.” He pulled a folder towards him. ““ He Teddy says you two ran into Charli Boyd. How was that demo you went to with her father?”

Thinking of that day reminded Buck of what came after—Sara coming back from the pool, the sexy bikini she’d worn and...later. The mention of Charli only served to remind him of her part in the hell he was in now.

He tapped a finger to his thigh. How long before he could get away from this inquisition. It was damn nice of Sara to disappear and leave him to face Cord’s million questions alone.

“Did you get a chance to talk to her this week?”

He frowned, not really listening. “Who? Charli? What did I need to ask Charli about?”

Cord leaned back in his chair and cussed. “Sara...and the Will,” he choked out.

Buck fisted a hand against his leg. “It came up a time or two.”

His brother nodded. “Hell, a marriage between me and Sara’s not the ideal situation for any of us, but I’m sure once some time goes by, we’ll all get used to it and be fine..”

Buck glanced up at his brother. Was he really this cold—anything for the business and all that? “What about you? What are you getting out of all this?”

“Getting out of what?”

“The marriage.”

Cord stared back at him steadily. “I get a wife without having to wonder if the woman I married is after me for the family’s money.”

“Wouldn’t Sara be doing exactly that?”

Cord shook his head. “No, Sara should have been given her half and you know it.”

“So, you’re handling this completely as a business transaction? Cold, calculating, no love involved?”

“Some of us can’t afford to take a chance on falling in love.”

Ain’t that the truth? Buck purposely kept his face blank. There was no point in Cord knowing that he could be right.

He studied his brother. Maybe he should be more like Cord, think about relationships in a strictly business sense. Still, he couldn’t help but wonder what his big brother would think if he knew what he and Sara had been doing in Houston.

“I’ve got stuff to do.” He stood, ignoring the way his brother frowned at the action. “You’ll have to get the rest of the updates from Sara.”

“Where is she?”

Buck snorted, slapped his hat on his head. “Hell, she’s your fiancé, you track her down.”

He flung open the door and stormed out. He couldn’t stand being in the same room with Cord another minute.

Outside, he spied Sara coming out of the barn, her head was down. She didn’t see him. His heart squeezed at the same time his temper flared at her betrayal. Purposely, he headed in the opposite direction, determined to avoid her as long as he needed until his opposing emotions were in check.