Chapter 65: Understand

*Her*

It was a combination of nerves, butterflies and excitement that turned my stomach. I sipped my coffee and leaned back. I stood in the kitchen, but if I leaned back just enough, I could see Kian as he laid in my bed.

He was out.

And I was thankful. He had looked so tired last night, so lost.

My stomach tingled as I thought of how he had taken me. I would be lying if I said that I hadn’t been thinking about that the whole time we were apart.

No one had ever made me feel the way he does.

I shoved away the guilt I felt from my failed attempt at sleeping with Brian. Kian didn’t seem so bothered, but Brian was another story.

I sat down on the couch with my laptop on my lap. Finals were two weeks away and graduation was soon after. The stress of the last few days finally came crashing down and I woke up this morning with pain in my shoulders.

I had been far too tense.

Though I had finished all of my projects ahead of time, anticipating the stress of funeral planning, I still had two tests to take. I wasn’t worried, not if I studied enough.

But my brain was foggy. It was overtaken by thoughts of Kian.

My heart skipped a beat in giddiness and for a moment, dread filled me. I looked to the hallway, making sure Kian hadn’t woken up. I didn’t want him to walk in on me mid freak-out.

What if he left me again? What if he broke me again? It was almost too devastating to think about and I hated him for making me doubt him.

My phone buzzed and I frowned, looking for it as I stood from the couch. I found it on the floor by the coffee table and looked at the notification on my screen.

My heart ripped in two when I saw the calendar reminder that today was the last day for me to reserve my dad a ticket for graduation. I exhaled on a broken sob and tightened my hand around the phone to stop myself from shaking.

“Inesa?”

I twirled on my feet, my chest relaxing in relief at the realization that I wasn’t alone. That I could be comforted.

Concern flashed in his eyes and he frowned, hesitant to approach me, “What’s wrong?”

I looked down at my phone, “My dad. He’s- he’s gone.”

“Baby,” He whispered, making his way toward me.

His arms held me safely and his chest was a welcome warmth. I could forget the world, forget the pain as long as he held me.

“He loved you so much.”

I nodded, that was a truth I couldn’t deny anymore. Not after everything.

“I’m so sorry you’re hurting, baby. Is there anything I can do?” He brushed his lips across my forehead.

I shook my head, sniffling, “You’re already doing it.”

He walked us over to the couch, settling down before placing me on his lap and letting me bury my face into the crook of his neck.

“He-he got so weak at the end. I hardly recognized him.”

I spoke the words I had been holding for months. There was no one in my life that I wanted to share my pain with. Not even Brian. With Kian, though, I wanted to share everything.

“He kept telling me he was going to do everything he could to make it to my graduation,” I buried myself deeper into his arms, trying to breath through my stuffy nose.

His arms tightened around me and he swallowed slowly, his jaw clenching. He pressed a soft kiss to my temple, not offering a word but giving me all the comfort he could.

I was suddenly overcome with a chuckle, “He hated you.”

Kian chuckled softly in response, his chest moving me, “He did not.”

I laughed louder, “He did.”

“I’m not saying he liked me, but I think hate’s a strong word.”

I sat up straight in his lap, pressing my hands to his chest, “I can’t believe he went to you after the accident.”

He pressed his fingers to my head, raking them through my hair, “He loved you. He wanted you to get better. He would have done anything for you.”

“I can’t believe you did it.”

He frowned, exhaling a shocked chuckle from his nostrils, “Don’t you know I’d do anything for you, too?”

New tears filled my eyes, “I thought I was going to be alone.”

“No, baby,” He pulled me in for a hug, tightening his hold.

“I lost my mom. You left and then he left, and I thought, I thought I was going to be alone.”

“Never. Never. I promise you,” He pulled back, watching me carefully.

I placed my hand on his cheek, letting my fingers caress his skin.

“Tell me you understand, Inesa?”

I looked at him, searching for any hesitancy. Was my doubt from earlier unfounded?

“Tell me, baby.”

“You love me?”

He nodded.

“And you’re staying?”

“With you? Yes. I’ll follow you anywhere.”

I smiled along with my tears.

He leaned toward me, capturing my lips in his. I pressed myself closer to him, straddling his hips as I deepened the kiss. He turned hard beneath me and he groaned.

“Fuck, baby, I’m sorry. I don’t mean to get turned on every fucking hour.”

I chuckled, pulling away from his lips and standing from his lap, “You’re right, we have too much to do.”

He frowned, “What do we have to do?”

“Well, aren’t you moving in?”

His eyes widened partially, “You want me to move in?”

I shrugged, “My lease ends in six months. After that we can choose a place together.”

He smiled softly, “Looks like you’ve already decided for me.”

I shook my head, leaning down to him until our lips touched. “No. You did. You said I would never be alone again.”

He smiled at me, “So you do understand?”

I nodded.

With a huff he stood up, “We need a bigger bed.”

I laughed, “Yeah. We do. I have some money that I had set aside to pay for the funeral, but someone paid it. I should figure out who though-”

My rambling would have continued if I hadn’t caught him chewing his lip.

“Kian?”

“Yeah?”

“Was it-was it you?”

He huffed, pressing his hand to the back of his neck, “I didn’t know if you would take me back. And-and I wanted to do something for you.”

My chest swelled. Again. I reached for him, lifting myself to my toes and pressing a kiss to his lips.

“Let’s go take shower.”

He chuckled against my lips, “Okay.”

I pulled away, grabbing his hand and walking to the bathroom like I did the night before.

Except today things were better, and I was happy.