Chapter 326: i love you

I finished packing up, or at least the maid, susan helped me pack up.

She came in several minutes later, claiming that Andrew told her to help me pack my bag. I felt my heart drop to the pits of my stomach.

“he does not… he does not want me around?” i said, looking at her like was going to tell me what i wanted to hear.

“i am sorry, i am not able to answer you, as i do not have the answer to that” she said, bowing her head at me, giving that sign of respect.

I watched her, the strength completely drained from my body, wanting to cry my heart out but knowing that would be stupid. I caused this myself.

“would that be all ma’am?” she said, looking at me, ready to leave.

“yes, thank you” i said, not even bothering to look at her.

She left, leaving me alone to my thoughts, causing me to break down in tears till i passed out

**

I woke up to someone moving around the room. “Andrew?” i called, sure that it was him because of the way he looked.

I was right, because of the way he froze while i called his name.

“sorry to disturb you, i thought you were asleep, if i knew that you were up i would not have waited.” i noticed how he spoke and looked everywhere but at me

“you can’t even look at me? Is that how much you don’t want me in your space anymore?” i fought tooth and nail to make sure that my voice did not crack and honestly, i gave myself a proud pat when it did not crack.

“Sam” he called. I could have sworn that i saw his eyes red and puffed but then he looked away, making it difficult for me to say. “look, i am not here to fight with you”

“well i am! I want to fight with you! I want to fight for you! And i want to fight by your side” i said, my voice coming down several octaves so that i could get my voice across. “but it seems lke you are pushing you away”

“you have no right to say that” he said, looking at me and this time i was certain, his eyes were red and puffed. I opened my mouth to say somthing but i was cut off with him continuing to spew what ever it was he wanted to say. “especially when you are the one packing your bags”

“well you were the one that sent someone to come and pack them!!” i yelled, bringing up my frustration

“that was because i was trying to be supportive!!!!!” he yelled, looking at me with wide eyes.

“again, i did not ask for any of that” i said, shaking my head. At this point, we were just going in circles. This was the same arguement that brought to this situation in the first place and now we were having a repeat of it, and i think he noticed it too

“i think….” he took in a breath. “i think we should just end this conversation here” i scoffed. Typical Andrew to want to end the conversation when it is not convienient for him.

I rolled my eyes. “since you would be leaving the castle grounds, i prepared this aulet for you. It is bound with a spell, just like the very one surrounding the castle, that way, Lucia and the fae king would not be able to reach you” he said. Looking at the amulet like it was something interesting. It was obvious that he only did that because he was avoiding to look at me.

“fine, thank you” i said snapping at him and snatching the thing from his hands like it was nothing.

As expected, he said nothing, which infuriated me further i needed him to feel this way in which i felt and him acting the way he did made me more and more annoyed.

“have a good night Andrew” i said, hinting that this conversation was over.

“have a good night Sam” he said, as his eyes became wet, before leaving.

I stared at the ceiling not really knowing what to do. “may be the voices in my head are right” i said out loud, thankful that there was no one around to hear me talk to myself, because i really needed it. I needed to speak out in a space that was not my head.

“maybe i do not deserve love after all the horrible things i have done” saying it out loud did nto mean that it did not hurt though because it did. jit hurt like a bitch knowing that the man i loved the most did not even give a rat ass about me moving to see another man that was not him.

“i love you” my mind took me to the first time he said it, how his eyes sparkled when as he said it, forcing me to believe that he indeed loved me.

“fucking liar” i said. Shutting my eyes tightly, as though that was going to take away the image or the memory away. It did not.

Instead, my mind decided it was ready to torture me reminding me of each and every time that he said it, or carresed me. Telling me that i was the most beautiful, telling me….

“liar… you fucking liar” i said, biting the inside of my lips, while i gripped my head tightly, trying to physically remove the thought from my head but it was not possible. “i hate you” i said, to each and evey memory of him telling me that he loved me.

Because to be honest, he was nothing but a cheap lying bastard.

I felt myself fall asleep because of how tired i felt but i could not get out of my mind his words reminding me over and over that he loved me. And as the memories flooded my brain, i stoped fighting it, letting them lull me to sleep