Chapter 165: The Empty Warmth

Cressida's pov

I woke up cold.

That was the first thing I noticed. The cold that had nothing to do with winter and everything to do with absence. The cold of reaching for something that was not there and the cold of expecting warmth that never came. My hand moved instinctively across the pillow, searching for the familiar weight, the soft fur, the steady purr that had become as essential to my survival as breathing.

Nothing.

My eyes flew open and I sat up and the blanket fell to my waist and the room was quiet and the bed was empty. The fire had burned low and the candles had guttered and the shadows were long and deep. The pillow beside me was cold and the sheets were cold and the silence was absolute. The frost was already spreading across the window and the cold was seeping into my bones and the fear was rising in my chest.

"Ember?" My voice was rough and my throat was tight and the word felt wrong in the empty room.

No answer.

I swung my legs over the side of the bed and my feet hit the cold stone floor. The chill seeped up through my skin and my toes went numb and my heart started pounding against my ribs. I crossed the room and checked the corner where she slept and the little bed was empty and the blanket was cold. The mouse toy I had given her was still there, untouched, and the food bowl was still full.

"Ember?"

Nothing.

I checked under the bed and behind the door and in the wardrobe. I checked the windowsill and the desk and the chair. I checked the bathroom and the closet and the space behind the curtains. I checked everywhere and found nothing. The frost was spreading across the floor and the cold was deepening in my chest and the fear was growing into something I could not control.

"Ember!" I shouted.

My voice echoed off the walls and the silence answered.

I ran to Raven's side of the room and my feet were bare and the corridors were cold and the torches flickered wildly as I passed. I did not knock and I did not wait and I burst through the curtains demarcating our room and her head snapped up from the pillow. Her dark curls were wild and her eyes were heavy with sleep and her voice was sharp with alarm.

"Cressida? What is wrong?"

"Ember is gone."

"What?"

"Ember is gone. She is not in my room. She is not anywhere. I looked everywhere. She is gone."

Raven was out of bed and crossing the room and her voice was sharp and her eyes were wide. "What do you mean she is gone? She was there last night."

"I know. I woke up and she was not there. I looked everywhere. She is gone."

Raven grabbed my shoulders and her eyes were steady and her voice was firm. "Okay. Okay. We will find her. She could not have gone far. She is just a cat."

"Where is she?"

"I do not know. But we will find her."

She pulled me out of the room and the corridors were cold and the torches flickered and the fear was growing.

Tasha's door was closed and Raven did not knock. She pushed it open and Benita was sitting on the bed with her brown eyes wide and her hands twisted in the blanket. Tasha was standing by the window with her silver braids loose and her arms crossed and her expression sharp. They looked up when we burst in and their faces shifted from confusion to concern.

"Ember is missing," Raven said.

"Missing?" Benita asked.

"Missing. She is not in Cressida's room. She is not anywhere."

Tasha crossed the room and her silver braids swung and her voice was sharp. "Check under the bed."

"I already checked."

"Check again."

I checked under the bed and the dust was thick and the shadows were deep and the silence was absolute. Ember was not there.

"Check the wardrobe."

"I already checked."

"Check again."

I checked the wardrobe and the clothes were hanging and the floor was empty and the shadows were still. Ember was not there.

"Check the windowsill."

"I already checked."

"Check again."

I checked the windowsill and the glass was cold and the latch was secure and the snow was undisturbed. Ember was not there.

"She is not here," I said.

"Then where is she?"

"I do not know."

The frost was spreading and the cold was deepening and the fear was growing.

We searched the dormitory and we searched the corridors and we searched the common room. We searched every corner and every alcove and every shadow. We called her name and we waited and we hoped.

We searched the dining hall and the kitchen and the library. We searched the greenhouse and the training yard and the garden. We searched the storage rooms and the supply closets and the empty classrooms. We searched everywhere and we found nothing. The frost followed me everywhere and the cold deepened with every empty room and the fear grew with every silent corner.

"Ember!" I shouted.

No answer.

"Ember!"

No answer.

"Ember!"

No answer.

I walked to Lucian's quarters and the door was closed and the guards were standing and their faces were hard. Their hands were on their blades and their eyes were cold and their presence was heavy.

"I need to see the Alpha," I said.

"He is in a meeting."

"I need to see him."

"He is in a meeting."

"I do not care."

The guard stepped closer and his voice was low. "He cannot be disturbed. The council is with him."

"Ember is missing."

"I am sorry."

"I need to see him."

"He cannot be disturbed."

The frost rose and the cold deepened and the fear grew. The ice spread across the floor and the temperature dropped and the guard's breath fogged in the cold air. But he did not move and the door did not open.

Raven appeared beside me and her dark curls were wild and her eyes were bright and her voice was steady.

"We will find her," she said.

"I cannot find her."

"We will find her."

"I have looked everywhere."

"We will find her."

I stared at her and my voice was broken. "What if she is gone? What if she is lost? What if she is hurt?"

"She is not gone."

"How do you know?"

"Because I know."

I pressed my face to her shoulder and my body shook and my tears were warm against the cold of my skin.

"I need her," I said. "I need her."

"I know."

The afternoon passed and the light shifted and the shadows grew long. We searched again and we searched again and we searched again. We searched the grounds and the forests and the edges of the academy. We asked everyone we passed and no one had seen her. The frost was still there and the cold was still there and the fear was still there. But Ember was not there. The silence was absolute and the emptiness was complete and the hope was fading.

The sun set and the torches were lit and the world grew dark.

We stood in the middle of the courtyard and the snow was falling and the wind was howling and the cold was biting. Raven was beside me and Benita was beside me and Tasha was beside me. We were all together and we were all searching and we were all hoping.

But Ember was gone.

And I did not know if I would ever find her.