Chapter 57
I had so much pain that I just didn’t have it in me to feel anymore. I mean, what was the point?
“You grew up and I knew if I ever had the chance, I would do better by you. But I came in last as always, but my wolf doesn’t seem to care about that. I think a part of you just didn’t feel ready to be with me. So yeah, I went about it the wrong way but quite frankly you were hard to talk to before without a fight.”
He wasn’t wrong though. I knew I had grown up, but this just felt wrong. It always felt wrong. I mean, in a few weeks, I had lost two mates. I can’t even think about moving on right now.
“I know that.” I forgot he could read my thoughts which I didn’t mind because some things were harder to say out loud.
“What do we do?” I asked. He reached for my arms to lift me up and wrapped his arm around me.
“We probably should be crying but right now I could go for a distraction if you want to?”
It was the worst timing, but I needed to feel something other than pain. I hesitated closer to him and connected my mouth with his. It was different this time too because before it felt wrong, but it didn’t matter and now it felt like I couldn’t live without him. He lifted me by my ass and held me on the bathroom wall while devouring me. Tears running down both our eyes, we both just needed to feel better. He positioned himself between my legs before I felt his member sliding in me, but his mouth had never left mine. It wasn’t much of anything because we just stayed there crying and mourning the loss of Jax. When he didn’t want to cry, he just stroked himself in and out of me before we both came to a sad but pleasurable climax.
After that, I decided to go see my kids. I walked over to my mom who was holding Alyssa in her arms and wrapped her in mine. I held on for dear life knowing I needed to be a better mom and figure things out. Dylan came running in and held my legs.
“Hey baby, I missed you.” I bent down to wrap him in this hug and just took it all in. He pulled back and started to wipe the loose tears that fell out.
“Daddy is not coming back, is he?” He asked. I shook my head expecting him to throw a tantrum but instead, he hugged me.
“It’s okay mommy.”
A huge weight lifted from my shoulders to hear him say that. They needed to be okay, even if they weren’t on the inside. We had no choice but to carry on with life. One story will never be sadder than the next because there is a point in our lives that gets hard. When the world starts falling, you take the pieces and put them back together in any way you can because it goes on.
“Do you want to take a nap with me?” I asked Dylan.
He nodded and followed me upstairs where we laid in bed with my daughter on my stomach, his head on my arm and just like that we fell asleep for the rest of the night. Not knowing what was going to happen tomorrow.
ALIZAC
War never has a happy ending. Losing as many as we did really made it impossible to grieve. But I lost my brother… My best man… He was the better man of us and for him to die the way he did made me feel pain I never felt. I took a sip from my whiskey just looking over the land where it was now peaceful and quiet.
Ryleigh told me it’s been us all along but a part of me feels like I am betraying Jax. He was her mate and I get the girl? Me? That was the most fucked up thing about this all. But I am going to do better by her and him and make sure she is taken care of and her kids. Maybe I was never meant to have kids of my own, but she had two that I could raise for when it’s time for me to step down.
I never had the best example of a father figure without the maids, but I will try, but for now, we both had to heal. It was never to be like this and maybe if she had never found me it could have been different. Is it selfish to say I am glad she did? Being locked up for a century with not even a person to talk to makes you question your self-worth.
I snuck over and opened the door to her room to see her lying there with her kids. Peaceful. I walked over and slid into the bed and her son readjusted, laying his head on me. I froze for a second, but I needed to bond so I allowed him and wrapped my arm around him. It felt oddly comfortable. He would one day take over this throne and I will be a better father to him than mine was. I will treat Ryleigh better than my father treated my mother and it was going to be a lot of work but we both deserve this. Worry-free.
I placed a kiss on his small head and let the night take me while I drifted into a heavy sleep. Who knows what the world has planned for us next but one thing that is for sure is I will keep fighting? Until my dying last breath, there will never be this innocence again and I will not lose another person unless old age takes us. Which is never. But tomorrow we must address the crowd and that’ll be heartbreaking.