Chapter 65: Whoś your Alpha?

**Cathys pov**

“It was an awesome fight! Your wolf can really stand up for herself!” Andy smiled charmingly as he plopped down on the couch placed in what I now called my office.

“Don’t try Andy!”

“What?” He smiled crookedly, why did he need to be so…appealing?

“There shouldn’t have been a fight at all if you cave wolves did your job!” I saw a sudden change in his eyes when I mentioned the word cave wolves, his wolf didn’t like it. Good to know.

“Uh…it was just a bit of a scuffle between two young wolves…”

“A little scuffle as you want to call it is something else entirely! Are you really so narrow-minded that you don’t understand what’s going on!? We are in a pack without an Alpha present, without a direct lead in place! Can you imagine what would happen if one of these youths managed to acquire that place!?”

“Uh, that would never happen...not with such a strong...dominant...sexy female wolf like you in place....or the rest of us guarding you” His tongue moistened his lips and it took a few seconds before I answered.

“I’m sending you back to Great Falls!” How could I have him here? He was obviously willing to play with me and risk my leadership out of curiosity about what might happen if a lesser wolf rose to power. He didn’t answer but just chuckled a little.

“What?!”

“Pretty girl, you can’t send me anywhere…I’m pretty much rogue, no pack, no Alpha…I go where I want."

“Really? And if I talk to Joe and he tells you to go?”

“Look…Joe took care of us and yes, I probably owe him my life several times over, but, he has no power over me. I can do as he says out of gratitude and respect...but if I don’t want to, he can’t force me.”

“Fine, then Kevin will tell you to obey!”

“Little Alpha? Hahahaha, you have a better chance with Joe then.”

“Or I’ll just call James…” That made his smart smile disappear.

“Why should I listen to him?”

“Because he’s a true Alpha… and he’s your true Alpha.”

“He’s a piece of shit!”

“Maybe so, but still a piece of shit who can tell you what to do.” The silence was all I needed, he knew I was right. The only question now was whether he would listen to me or force me to call James. I don’t know what I was hoping for, the thought of hearing James’ voice was enticing...

“Hrm…I apologize for my behavior…if you’ll give me a second chance…If you’ll let me stay here with you, with my friends…then I promise to be better at keeping order.” He lowered his gaze in submission, a tough move for a rogue.

“Become better? How much better? Just a small improvement wouldn’t make a big difference considering how many fights there were per day…” I was telling the truth, they hadn’t done much at all of what I expected.

“Believe me, you will notice a big difference, no more fights...”

“None at all?” That was a big promise he was willing to make, all so I wouldn’t call James?

“None at all, you have my word!”

“I…”

“Cathy! Are you okay?!” Mike stormed in without knocking. He was slightly nervous and had a worried expression on his face. A few years ago, my heart would have melted. He cared about me and was worried!... But not now, which made me a little sad. I had loved him once, really loved him…at least as much as you can love someone who is not your mate…but he had found his…

“No problem Mike, just a little banter down in the yard.” My tone was cold and slightly dismissive, something that Freespi added.

“Okay…good to hear, I got the word that it was bloody serious…hrm, is there anything I can do?”

“Thanks...but no, Andy and I are currently going over how to get these hormonal power-horny young males to focus on something else.”

“Oh, I see...let me know if there’s anything I can help with...take them out into the field on a bootcamp or something” He started to leave the room as his words reached me. It wasn’t a stupid idea, not stupid at all actually!

“Mike! Wait!”

“Yes?”

“Er…actually, that was one of the things we talked about…Me and Andy… Right, Andy?” I looked at him with pleading eyes and whether he saw his chance or just wanted to help was the question. But he answered in my favor.

“Yes, exactly. These young wolves need to learn solidarity and what it means to be true to your pack and not to forget where you belong. Your name actually came up…Mike…”

“Yeah? Really?” Mike looked both honored and nervous at the same time. He knew he was inferior to me. He knew the cave wolves were loyal to James and he knew that if we decided to put him in charge of this project he would have to be away from his mate. A small part of me was happy…and I was ashamed of it. I pulled myself together and this was in fact, a good idea, regardless of how it came about. Mike was capable, I knew that. He would guide the youngsters and show them how to become a loyal, confidant warrior wolf.

“Yes, indeed Mike…there is no one I could think of better suited for such a mission than you.” I was honest when I spoke and when our eyes met it was like before. Love and respect. Before revelations about lies or incoming mates. It was all over in a second and we both looked away.

“It would be an honor…” That was his answer and I’m sure he meant it…while his thoughts went to what it would mean for his relationship.

“You handled that nicely.” Andy flashed his incredibly charming smile as he complimented me. What was his endgame? I had seen and felt his eyes for the past few days and he knew he was good looking and charming or he wouldn’t have that confidence. He was muscular, his chocolate brown hair cut, but not too short, layed in neat tousled waves. His attire, which seemed to be his preference, consisted of camouflage patterned pants in either green and brown or gray and black with a matching tight t-shirt. He was eye candy, no pun intended...and he knew it.

“I am informing you of my decision regarding a possible return trip to Great Falls. That’s it, you can go.” I kept my tone short and turned my back on him, blindly sorting through the papers scattered across my desk.

“But…” I could hear the surprise in his voice. Had his charm not worked?

“That was all Andy. I have work to do.” I tried to sound even stricter as I reached for my phone and pretended to look for an important number. Behind me I heard him get up and leave the room, he was even careful when he closed the door and finally, I could exhale. What was wrong with me? Why did I become like this as soon as a charming man showed interest? There had been several over the years but Dean, Gora, Alfonzo…was all resent… Did I have some hidden need to be desired and wanted? Or was it the feeling of not being rejected?... I felt the need to make a phone call.

“Hello?”

“Hey…”

“Cathy?”

“Yup…Gora?”

“Yeah…the one and only…”

“But that’s not really true is it?...”

“Well…I’m the only Gora…the other part of me would never take my name, he’s too proud for that…”

“Really? What is his name then?” It was quiet as if he was thinking.

“I don’t know…I’ve never actually asked…I just call him the Monster…”

“That wasn’t very nice of you.”

“No, maybe not...but he’s a monster, he doesn’t deserve kindness...”

“But he is also a part of you... In my world... even if we don’t get along with our wolves, you work for it, because they are your other half...” Imagine if I could get him to connect with his other self, let him be seen, become real...then I can bet that they would grow closer to each other and that maybe even the bloodlust and love of violence would subside.

“That sounds beautiful Cathy…really…but it’s not the same…he’s not a separate part of me…he’s me…a sick part of me…like a boil or a wart with a consciousness…” His words left me speechless. I understood what he meant, I had only hoped that my reality was closer to the truth.

“Cathy…I…it is wonderful to hear your voice…really…”

“Gora…something happened to me tonight…”

“Babe, come back, the bed’s getting cold without you…” The female voice I heard in the background pushed me off my high cliff…who did I think I was? Someone special? Someone that men sat in their solitude yearning for? No…a man like Gora, sexy, handsome, a man who put the models in men’s clothing ads to shame…why would he even think about me again? Especially after everything that happened between us…or rather, between us and…the monster.

“I have to go Cathy…take care of yourself.” Before I answered or at least made an attempt to keep him on the line, he hung up and the silence in the receiver was deafening.