Chapter 59: No Longer Mine

BLAKE

I'd been watching her all night even if she didn't know it. It was creepy and I knew it but I couldn't help myself. I really wanted to be there for her tonight but after everything that had happened, I concluded that my presence wouldn't have been appreciated so I stayed away.

But now, as I watched her in his arms, I regretted staying away. I regretted everything I'd done.

That was supposed to be me hugging her, not him and despite how much I wanted to march over there and take her away from him like I would have done a few weeks ago, I couldn't. Because she was no longer mine.

As I watched his hands tighten around her waist, my hands balled into tight fists and it took all my willpower not to march over there and throw him against the wall, far away from her. I could have done it but she probably wouldn't have appreciated that.

I took a long shaky breath and forced myself to step back as Sky and Rylie parted. For a brief moment, both of them paused, their lips inches away from touching and I feared the worst. If they actually kissed, nothing would stop me from running over there and putting a stop to it, even if Rylie never forgave me for it.

Thankfully, they didn't and pulled away, flashing each other awkward smiles. They started to talk about something I couldn't quite hear and I took that as my cue to leave. On my way out of the school, I ran into someone. Some girl, a brunette. She seemed to be quite familiar with me even though I couldn't remember her at all.

"Oh, I'm so sorry," I muttered in apology, helping her off the floor.

"No harm done," she giggled, her hands lingering on mine. "Wow! I never thought I'd run into you again."

"Run into me?"

"Yeah. Don't you remember? It's me, Talia. We sorta made out in the janitor's closet, a few months ago."

"Oh right!" I snapped my fingers, suddenly remembering. She was there when Rylie and I accidentally kissed. "Well, nice seeing again, I guess-"

"Wait, before you go," she stepped right in front of me, "maybe you would like to get coffee sometime. I know a great place."

"I don't think that's a good idea. Now I really have to go." I tried to step past her but she blocked my path again.

"It doesn't have to be coffee, you know. It could be something else." She trailed a finger across my jawline suggestively. I was well aware of what she meant but I definitely was not interested. Or was I?

I hadn't been with any girl after Talia because my charade with Rylie started shortly after. I'd only been with Rylie since but now that that was over, maybe—

At that moment, Rylie appeared, hand in hand with Sky. Our eyes met and she looked down at their clasped hands before staring back at me.

Before I could say anything, Talia squealed and wrapped her hands around my shoulder, "Yes I will go on a date with you, Blake. I'm so glad you asked." Then she grabbed me by the hand and pulled me behind her. I followed her, my eyes still on Rylie.

I could see something like hurt flash in Rylie's eyes but Sky took her away before I had the chance to do anything.

When we arrived in the parking lot, I was finally able to pull away from Talia's iron grip and I faced her squarely.

"What the hell was that in there?" I demanded, glaring down at her.

"What? You mean with Rylie? What's the matter? I know there's nothing between you guys," she shrugged.

"What do you mean by that?" I narrowed my eyes at her.

"I was there, remember? The night you guys kissed. I know that it was all a mistake and even though, I have no idea why you guys started dating after since you wanted to keep it a secret, I know the truth so you don't have to pretend with me. Your secret is safe with me," she patted her chest. "So do we use your car or...?"

"Yeah, about that. Sorry but I don't do seconds."

Before she could react or reply, I opened my car, slipped in and drove off. Fifteen minutes later, I was back home and up on the roof.

As I stared up at the starry night sky, the cool winter breeze causing a chill in my bones, I thought back to the day I gave up the best thing that has ever happened to me for reasons that seemed frivolous even now.

It was true what they said: absence does make the heart fonder. I thought I'd liked Rylie but it had taken losing her to make me realise just how special she really was to me.

When I met Rylie, I was not at the best place in my life. I'd caught my girlfriend, Kristen Harper, a girl who I thought would never betray me, a girl I wanted to spend the rest of my life with, having sex with my best friend. To make things worse, it turned out that it had been going on for a while.

I'd never felt so betrayed and broken in my whole life. To deal with my heartbreak, I did the only thing that made sense to me at the time— I broke other people's hearts. Kristen broke my heart so I told myself I didn't care while hurting other girls like she hurt me. I was a jerk plain and simple.

Moving here and meeting Rylie changed everything, even if I didn't know it at the time. When we met for the first time in the girls' bathroom, I really did think she was cute. Until she opened her mouth and turned out to be the most insufferable person I'd ever met. That first meeting established our dynamic. We were like oil and water, destined to never mix.

Then we kissed. The first kiss was a blip. It ended as quickly as a blink. I told myself I was disgusted but really I wanted more. Maybe it had something to do with the fact that I hated Rylie for not being like the other girls, for not fawning over me, for seeing through me and treating me like the scumbag I was. Whatever it was, it all boiled over and I found myself kissing her again. It was partly to shut her up, partly to satisfy my burning curiosity about what it would feel like to kissing the one girl who couldn't stand me. And it was every bit as addictive as I imagined it'd be.

After that night, I had to go back to acting like I hated her, had to go back to ignoring her at school when all I wanted was to kiss her silly every time I saw her. I wanted more. I wanted to kiss her again so much it hurt.

When my grandma came to stay with us, I was in a panic. I'd already assured her that I had a girlfriend even when I didn't and I had no idea how to even get one. Then Rylie visited that day and made me the most bizarre offer. I told myself I only said yes because of my grandma, because I didn't want her to still think I was not over what Kristen did to me but while those were part of it, I knew that deep down, I was looking forward to spending more time with Rylie. I wanted to know what made her tick, what lay behind those feisty brown eyes of hers.

I can't remember exactly when my feelings for Rylie budded but before I knew it, I was head over heels for the one girl who it should have been impossible to fall for. Learning that she had feelings for me too was perhaps the best thing to have happened to me.

It would've been better if our story ended like that. But then Grandma died. Her death had been unexpected. In the weeks leading up to it, she'd been fine, even better than fine. I thought she was getting better.

I could still remember my mom shaking me awake late at night, tears streaming down her cheeks as she told me that Grandma wasn't responding. I could still remember rushing out of bed to Grandma's bedside while screaming for someone to call the ambulance.

When Grandma didn't make it, I wanted to just die. After Kristen's betrayal, I never thought I could ever get so hurt again but I was wrong. I could still remember laying on my bed, tears streaming down my cheeks as I mourned for my late Grandma.

During that period, I had a lot of time to think and I constantly blamed myself for allowing my grandma to believe a lie about me. I should have just told her and she would have understood but I hadn't and I felt terrible. My grandmother, the person I was closest to, died believing a lie. A lie I told her.

I was in a bad place and I hated myself for ever allowing the lie to begin in the first place. It'd a mistake and I was certain that this was a repercussion. That her dying was my punishment. And so, in that muddled state of mind, I made a decision.

Looking back, I realized now that I wasn't in the right state of mind to make the decision I made. I was still grieving and I let my emotions get the better of me. I acted selfish and only thought about myself.

It was only after going through with my plans and having Rylie hit me that my eyes cleared. The fog in my mind dissipated and things suddenly seemed clearer.

I knew then that I had made a terrible decision but it was too late for me. Rylie was gone, taking with her, my heart.

Just then, I looked over to her window to see the lights in her room come on. I could hear her voice even from where I was. She seemed to be in the phone with someone and she sounded happy.

Still on the phone, she stuck her head out of the window and I caught sight of her face, the cool breeze fanning her face, making her look even more radiant.

"Sure Sky. I'll see you again tomorrow," I heard her say as she moved back into the room and pulled the window shut.

My jaw tightened and I looked back at the sky.

Sky. I'd always known he liked her. Not surprising considering that it is Rylie but now, having to face the reality that she was really moving on hurt to say the least. Hurt even more since I caused it.

I still longed to make things right again with Rylie. If I could go back to that day, I would. If I could take back everything I said, I would. But it was too late for me. I'd lost her and I couldn't get her back.