27b

The doe-headed servant showed him into an adjoining room that was separated from the main audience room. Rizuma was feeling restless, so he picked at his already tattered sleeve and paced back and forth. He listened to the receding footsteps of Kato and Ilumi. Worry twisted his gut; why did he get the feeling he would never see her again after tonight? The door at the back of the room slid open. He turned around to see the guardian ducking through the doorway. He clenched his hands into fists to hide his anger. It was his fault; if he had just accepted Rizuma's offer, then Ilumi would have been set free. "My lord guardian." Rizuma bowed to the vile creature. The boar grinned. His yellow teeth looked even more rotten up close and the stench of his breath was putrid. "I've come for my favor." Rizuma held his breath, waiting. "And what is that?" "I want you to see something." He waved his hoof and a mirror appeared out of a cloud of leaves. At first he saw his own face reflected there. Seeing his image was startling. He hardly recognized himself-the dark shadows under his eyes, his torn and battered skin, and his topknot had come undone, his hair falling forward. "You want me to see my own reflection?" "No, look closer." And so Rizuma did as he was bid, he peered into the mirror. His image disappeared and in its place he saw Ilumi and Kato alone in a small chamber with a single bed. Does he expect them to sleep together? His gut twisted with jealousy. He had no reason to believe Ilumi was his. Though he had asked her to be his wife, he had never gotten her answer. Had he misinterpreted her intentions? But if she did not care for him, why sacrifice herself for him? Kato had his back to Ilumi, and she seemed to be saying something, but Rizuma could not hear what they were saying. From the way she gazed at him, captured by Kato's every word, Rizuma knew it was serious. Kato turned to face Ilumi, and tears rolled down her cheeks. Rizuma's stomach sank. Has he confessed how he feels? Does she feel the same? Kato had given up everything to save Ilumi, how could she not love him in return? Rizuma could not turn away as Ilumi fell to her knees and Kato wiped away her tears. She grabbed onto Kato's robe and buried her face into his chest. Kato wrapped his arms around her. And Rizuma could not look any longer. "Do you know what he asked?" the boar taunted. "What?" Rizuma asked, though he feared the answer. "He asked her to choose between the two of you. Who do you think she chose?" His head said Kato, it only made sense, but his heart thought differently. They loved one another, he was certain of that much. But the guardian had filled him with a fragment of doubt and that was what held his tongue. "I'll wait for your answer until morning. If you're right, you both go free; if you are wrong, then you both belong to me." ***** The room they were given was tiny with a single futon for them to share. They had slept side by side more times than she could count, but when they entered the room and the sliding doors were closed, the air felt charged. Kato stood with his back to her and his hand pulled at his new collar. She went to his side and took his free hand in hers. He tensed; all his muscles corded in his back and arms like an animal poised to take flight. They stood like that for a moment, not speaking. This cannot be the last time I see him. I will not let it be. I will find a way to free him from Mikari. Kato dropped her hand suddenly and then stepped away. She could read the unease in every line of his body. "Kato…?" He did not answer. "You know what question Mikari is going to ask me, don't you?" He would not look at her. He was not acting like himself. In fact, he had been acting strangely since the witch cursed her. He said there was something he wanted to ask me when I could speak again. "Answer me, Kato!" she shouted. After everything that had happened, she was on edge. Was he still mad from when she slapped him? She knew he could hold a grudge but never against her. He flinched. He never flinched unless he felt guilty. What is there to feel guilty about? "You love him?" His voice held no inflection; it was like he was reading rehearsed lines. "I do." She crossed her hands over her chest. He ran his hands through his hair. "Then the question does not matter." She walked around to face him. She peered up into his eyes. "What possessed you to make a deal? What were you thinking?" She reached out to shake him, but he stepped back before she could touch him. He looked up at her at last. His gaze pinned her in place. "We do things for those we love that we never imagined." She clutched at the silk of her kimono just above her heart. "Kato…" "It was my own fault for not telling you sooner." She did not know what to say. So she asked, "How long have you been in love with me?" He looked at her; his dark eyes pierced her through. "Always." She gasped. She felt as if her world had tilted sideways. "And the question?" "Mikari wants you to choose between Rizuma and me." She sank to her knees. Her legs could no longer support her weight. Kato hovered over her. His expression was guarded, closed off. She had never seen him that way before. "Why didn't you say anything?" He sighed. "I wanted to, but it never seemed like the right time. I thought I could be happy just being by your side. But then you had that affair with the Dragon…" Her hands were shaking. "I never loved the Dragon. It never meant anything to either of us." He nodded. "I can see that now." "Oh, Kato." His face hid much of his emotion, but she could see his disappointment beneath the cracks in his facade. She wanted to reach out to him to comfort him. But it felt tainted now. She did not want her actions to be misinterpreted. Nothing has changed; it's still Kato. They had always been one another's rocks, but she never imagined she would be the one to cause him pain. Had I known, would things have been different? Could things be different? "I'll find a way to break you free of Mikari. I promise," she said. He shook his head. "I am content to know you are happy. Live your life with the hu-Rizuma." His mouth twisted wryly. "Bear his children. Forget about me." Tears pushed the back of her lids. He knelt down in front of her and wiped an errant tear from her eye. She tried to hold herself back, but she could not any longer. She grabbed his shirt front and held on tight. She buried her face into his chest. "You're an idiot," she said. He stroked her hair. "If I'm an idiot, what does that make you?" She laughed despite herself. "I'm not going to give up. You know that, don't you?" "Stubborn to the end." "Always," she replied as he pressed a kiss to her brow.