19

After his father's death, Ilumi did not leave Rizuma's side. She had seen the despair in his eyes and knew he blamed himself. She coaxed him to her chamber, where she tried to take away his sadness with her body. Their coupling was tender. When he looked into her eyes as he entered her, the deep sadness she saw there stirred something in her chest. She had never intended it, but she had grown to care for him deeply. They fell asleep in a tumble on her futon, limbs wound together. She rested her head on his chest and let oblivion take her. It was late that night that she woke with a start. The hairs on the back of her neck prickled and the air practically sparked with spiritual energy. She knew there was only one explanation. Ilumi gently unwound herself from Rizuma's embrace and, after sliding into her night robe, went out into the garden. The witch stood beneath the maple tree. The leaves had all but fallen, and only a determined few remained to cling stubbornly to the branches. "You have been busy, I see," the witch said. Ilumi crossed one arm over her stomach and waved her free hand, indicating the witch should get on with whatever she came to say. Kill me or free me, it is the suspense that is the worst. The not knowing is driving me insane. "Things are progressing nicely, but it appears the Fujikawas have remained devoted despite news of Lord Zatesa's death." Her mouth twisted into a grim smile. She was enjoying the Kaedemoris' misfortune. And it is my fault. She brought me here to place a wedge in the family and awaken old prejudices. Ilumi took a step towards the witch. Enough of your gloating, old woman, what do you want from me? She turned to face Ilumi. She wore the priestess garb again though Ilumi was certain she was not a real priestess. "I have come to tell you that time runs short, you have only a few days left. And as such, I have come to give you instructions." Ilumi held her breath. She had watched the moon change and known her time was coming, but she could not bear to betray Rizuma, not after everything she had been through. It had been convenient to forget, but the witch was right, she was running out of time. How can I break the spell and spare his feelings? "You are to kill Lady Bulan. She arrives in two days' time. Once she is dead, the spell will be broken." She balled her hands into fists. And if I don't, I will become a fox, is that it? From the corner of her eye she glanced about for something to throw at the old witch. She could not fathom the old woman's motives, but she was tired of being used as a pawn in her game. And she was also tired of fearing for her life. She had never been this vulnerable as a Zoldas. She could not imagine how humans lived their lives feeling this weak. "You do not approve of my plan?" the witch taunted. Who would willingly take a life, you madwoman? The witch laughed as she stalked closer to Ilumi while she stood frozen in place. Every inch of her body was alert, preparing for the witch to administer some punishment. A burning fire that set her skin ablaze or a spell that would turn her into a bug to be squashed underfoot. The witch tried to walk over to the chamber where Rizuma slept blissfully unaware. Ilumi stepped in her way. It was the only thing she would do to interfere with the witch. Rizuma is in innocent in this. The witch smiled and revealed her graying gums. "If you do not kill Lady Bulan, then you must kill the new lord Zatesa." Ilumi gritted her teeth to hold back a curse that could not pass her lips even if she wanted to. She clenched her hands hard enough to break the skin. Had she a tail in that moment, it would have been whipping back and forth. The witch patted Ilumi on the head. "That's a good girl. Now go back to your lord, enjoy him while you are able." She placed a dagger into Ilumi's hands. The metal was warm to the touch; the hilt was plain and made of white bone. When Ilumi looked up from the blade, the witch was gone. She'd left Ilumi standing beneath the waning moon. She tilted her head back and looked to the stars. The hand holding the dagger fell limp at her side. The stars held no answers. Before she could return to Rizuma, she heard a low whine. She spun around, and Kato, in wolf form, sat at the foot of the stairs. She sighed and sat down on the steps. She set the dagger down next to her. She stroked Kato's head and wished for the hundredth time she could send him away. I can just be glad he and the witch did not cross paths. This time. Kato nuzzled against her hand and then pulled his lips back in a growl. He shifted into his human form. He appeared before her with arms crossed over his chest. "You reek of human!" She looked away with a haughty tilt of her head. Of course I do, I am a human right now. He grabbed her shoulders and she looked up at him. "Have you taken that human to your bed?" His tone was scornful, accusatory, and laced with something else. She could not meet his gaze and she looked down at the dagger instead. She'd never taken a human to bed before. She could understand Kato's shock. But she had never expected this damnation, not from him. She knew many Zoldas who had taken human lovers. In fact, it was a common practice among Ura. She had just never had any desire to take one herself. She picked up the dagger and twirled the hilt of the dagger in her hand, to avoid looking Kato in the eye. Kato shook her and it jerked her from her thoughts. Kato had only ever been gentle with her. She pulled free of his grip. What has gotten into you? Since when does who I share my bed with affect you? I know there are more than a few young maidens who were seduced by you. "What were you thinking?" She pointed at Kato in a sharp gesture, then to herself and threw her hands up. My business is my own. He raked his hands through his hair. "I know I've bedded my share of human women. But that was different. Those women, they knew that it was just for fun. None of them expected more. That human, I have seen the looks he gives you. He's in love with you." Her stomach fluttered at Kato's words. She had been trying to convince herself that this was a temporary infatuation, but with each passing day he had dug deeper into her heart. Roots had started to spread and there was no dislodging him, it seemed. She could not explain it to Kato. I think I love him. She pointed a finger at him and then grasped her throat with both hands. I cannot speak. How can I explain so you'll understand? "I understand you well enough," he huffed. She patted his shoulder. You understand me better than most, but I do not think you would understand this. You've never taken a woman seriously, ever. He slid his shoulder out from beneath her hand. "When you can speak again… when all this is over, I think there are some things we need to talk about." He turned away from her. Under normal circumstances, she would have let it go, but something in his tone made her wonder. He had been acting strangely for a while. Ever since her brief tryst with the Dragon. She frowned as she circled around him, trying to catch his eye. She tilted her head and looked up at him. He stared past her at the ground. A muscle twitched along his jaw, as if he were biting down on his words. Kato had never held anything back from her before. The only reason he would hold back is to spare my feelings. There had been too many secrets lately. She placed a hand on his forearm, which was folded in front of his chest. This time he did not move away, but she felt his muscles tense beneath his skin. He was strung tight as a bowstring. Tell me what's wrong. "I'm not going to say until you can give me a real answer," he said, seemingly reading her thoughts. She decided to let it lie, there was no point in arguing. "I heard what the witch said. You should go take care of him while he's sleeping, it will be easier on you. Just press the blade against his throat and pull; it will be over in an instant." She stared at him, eyes wide. He cannot mean that. She shook her head. Just the idea of Rizuma's blood flowing onto her hands twisted her stomach into knots. I am questioning my ability to kill a stranger. These damn human emotions are starting to cloud my mind. Before I would not have hesitated for even a moment. Kato grabbed Ilumi's chin and forced her to look at him. "I will not let you sacrifice yourself for him. Kill this Lady Bulan or kill him, it does not matter to me. Just see it done." Ilumi's eyes grew wide. When did you change? You were never this cold before. They stared at each other in silent contemplation. "I should take you to the Dragon. No matter what you want. I should drag you out of here kicking and screaming." She crossed her hands over her chest. I did not ask you to get involved. "Don't look at me that way. You have to see that your stubbornness will be the death of you." She narrowed her eyes as she glared at him, hoping the power of her evil eye would be enough to end this argument. "I know what happened. The entire palace knows. What does it matter if he set you aside? He's set aside hundreds of other women." Ilumi rolled her eyes. Do you really think I am so vain as to care about being set aside? This is about honor. One night of weakness and then I became another conquest. I lost the little respect I had. I lost his respect. I have to prove myself, but if I go back now, like this, my reputation will never be repaired. "On second thought, your pride be damned, we're going." He grabbed her wrist and yanked her down the steps. She resisted, though it was like trying to move a boulder with a piece of thread. In the struggle she knocked the dagger off the stairs and it went down the steps with a clatter. "Don't be a fool, Ilumi, just come with me." She did not know what else to do. If they left, it wasn't just her that would pay the price, the witch would make him pay as well. She jerked her hand backwards and slapped him hard across the face. Kato startled and dropped her hand. He pressed his fingers against his cheek. "You slapped me…" She reached for him to apologize; she had not meant to hurt him. But he backed away from her. He stared at her for a moment. Something shifted between them. At last Kato spoke and his voice was low and gravelly. "Never mind, you are a fool. I'll leave you to your choice and I hope you are happy with it. I will not stay here and watch you throw your life away." He shifted into a wolf before she could try to reach out for him. He looked at her with golden eyes before he loped out of the garden, leaving her behind. He's really mad this time. I've never seen him act this way. The realization settled on her like a stone on her chest. Kato, her one friend, the one person she knew would support her and love her regardless of her faults, had turned his back on her.