Chapter 21
Selina was trapped in an invisible web of darkness in the murky space between dreams and reality, and she was fighting to release herself. She felt like she was floating through thick fog, unable to find her a foundation or gain support, and every movement felt slow.
Selina was fighting against a heavy weight that was pressing down on her when she noticed a shadowy figure that appeared to be rising from the depths of her mind. Her heart was thumping in her chest as she struggled with the fear that was about to take hold of her. Panic shot through her veins as she realized she wasn't alone.
Selina couldn't see the form of a guy standing next to her bed in the twilight that came in through the window, even as the darkness that enveloped the room covered his features. She attempted to yell and scream for assistance, but she was still not fully awake, only feeling things.
She shivered when Felix touched her, his fingertips creating a trail across her skin with a feather-light caress that made her gasp for air. Selina tried to fight against the incredible pleasure that was coursing through her veins, but her body betrayed her as she softly moaned as she arched into his touch.
“Mhhhhh” Selina moaned.
Felix felt a surge of excitement course through his veins as he heard the sweet sound that seemed to echo through the quiet of the night. He took great pleasure in his ability to control her, his touch igniting a fire inside her that blazed so fiercely it left them both gasping for air.
However, as Selina's moans filled the room, Felix experienced a brief flash of clarity amid the fog of want as he felt a twinge of guilt tug at his conscience. With every second that went by, he knew he was going over the line and into dangerous land, but the pull of his need was too great to ignore.
Felix recognized he had lost control as he gazed down at Selina, her eyes closed and drowsy, her skin flushed with pleasure. His own desire mirrored hers with a furious intensity that threatened to swallow them both. Gently, his fingertips lingered on the bruises that grew beneath his palms like dark flowers as he traced the markings he had made on her flesh.
A violent storm raged inside Felix as he sat by himself in the dark room, staring at the sleeping figure of Selina. He was fighting with feelings that threatened to swallow him whole in the stillness that around him. It was as like he was having a silent conversation with the depths of his own soul.
"I can't keep denying it," Felix whispered softly, the words escaping his lips in a barely audible murmur. "I'm in love with her."
His confession hung heavy in the air, a weighty truth that he could no longer ignore. For so long, Felix had tried to bury his feelings beneath layers of denial, to convince himself that what he felt for Selina was nothing more than fleeting desire. But as he looked upon her sleeping form, bathed in the soft glow of moonlight, he knew that his heart belonged to her and her alone.
"You're everything to me," Felix continued, his voice filled with a raw intensity that mirrored the depth of his emotions. "You're my salvation, the only one that can redeem me and save me from myself, and my damnation, the only person that has made me head over insane for someone, my light in the darkness, the only voice I would listen to every morning and night,and my greatest temptation, the one I want to sin with. I can't imagine my life without her."
Felix felt a flood of emotion surge up inside him as he spoke, threatening to drown him in a sea of yearning and hunger. He'd convinced himself for so long that he didn't deserve Selina's love that he'd been pushing her away, but now he couldn't deny the reality. The idea of living without her by his side was unbearable to him since she had stitched herself into the very core of who he was.
"But what if she doesn't feel the same way?" Felix thought out loud, his voice filled with anxiety and uncertainty. "What if my love is nothing more than a burden to her, a weight that she can't bear?"
The thought sent a chill down Felix's spine, filling him with a sense of dread that threatened to consume him. He had spent so long guarding his heart, building walls around himself to protect against the pain of rejection, but now those walls crumbled in the face of his overwhelming love for Selina.
"I have to make her mine sooner than I planned. I can't phantom not being around her, not breathing the same air she's breathing.” Felix mumbled to himself.
Remembering what Dr George told him about loving her the right way, Felix figured there wouldn't be enough time to do it properly. He agreed that his way of loving her was wrong, really wrong, and that's a really big problem. But he can't do it the right way.
Felix felt Selina was the cure to his poison, his broken self, his pain, his hurt and his night mares and he would do anything, anything in his power to keep her. And he had all the power in the world.
He had seen the way Selina spoke to several people, how shecared for her friend, Amara, and even that pathetic scumbag of her friend, Simon, even the way she cared for his rabbit, Lina and he wanted all that affection, all that love and care for himself alone.
Felix also wanted Selina to reciprocate his love for her in all ways, but he was too scared she might not like his broken self or she won't be able to love the pain and hurt away. That's why he felt has to force her, to possess her and that's the only right way.