Chapter 20

The next day we woke up at seven-thirty and I took the bathroom in our (my) bedroom, while Niall took the one in the guest bedroom.

“So it turns out I can’t take you shopping tonight because my dad and Ann are going to some gala and I have to babysit Eddie, which means I’ll stay at the mansion tonight,” he told me while we stood in line at Starbucks.

“But we can take him with us, he’s in love with you anyway,” he added and I smiled.

“He is?” I asked and he nodded, putting his arm around my shoulder.

“Who wouldn’t be?” I heard him mumble and my heart started beating faster.

Did he just indirectly say he loved me?

Oh my god We took our coffee and muffins to go because we were a bit late to Lit class and Niall wasn’t in the mood to face Mr. Grey when everyone’s eyes were on them.

***

After classes, Niall drove me back to the apartment and I was thinking about unpacking when I actually came to the conclusion that moving in ‘together’ was a big mistake. He paid a lot of money for the apartment and I felt like I was taking huge advantage of him by sleeping in it and getting comfortable so soon.

I wanted to tell him that I wanted things to go back just the way they were; me living in the dorm room and him in the frat house, but I didn’t want to look like a bitch.

As I changed into some comfortable jeans, blue Vans, and a green sweater, I decided to tell him tonight, when Eddie was coming over so he couldn’t get that mad with him around.

He drove us to his dad’s mansion in Downtown Manhattan, where he picked Eddie up just as Ann and Mr. Harris were about to leave.

“Oh, and we also need you to watch over him this weekend because we’re going to Vegas on Saturday and Sunday. We’re leaving on Friday night.” Ann told him and pushed her sunglasses further up her nose, patting Niall on the shoulder. Eddie stepped out from behind her legs once he exited the house, followed by his father.

“Sure, it’s not like I have a social life or anything,” Niall mumbled sarcastically and held his hand out for Eddie to high five him. Eddie gripped into his shirt and cutely smiled up at him.

“Well, you can invite your girlfriend over. Just make sure to use protection and don’t do it outside because we have security cameras.” Ann said and her hand trailed down his back.

My eyes followed it and I frowned. Eddie must’ve noticed it because he walked towards me and hugged my thighs.

“Hey Rey!” he said looking up at me and smiling.

I ran my hand through his hair and he closed his eyes, leaning into my touch.

“So take care of him.” Mr. Harris said one last time before he got in the white Jeep by the garage, together with Ann. Niall rolled his eyes and tapped Eddie’s head, before bending down and gripping under Eddie’s arms so he could lift him up in his arms.

“Where are we going?” Eddie asked and wrapped his arms around Niall’s neck as we walked to his car.

“We’re going to go furniture shopping,” Niall told him.

“Um, actually, can we like-not do that today?” I asked him and he frowned, confused.

“Why?”

“Um-I-we need to talk. About stuff.”

His eyes widened and I knew he was starting to get nervous.

“Is there something wrong?” he asked once we were back to the apartment. He’d been silent during the whole ride back, nervously tapping his fingers against the steering wheel.

“Not really,” I told him and he let Eddie go and explore the apartment while we stood in the living room. “It’s just- I think the apartment was a bad idea. I mean-“

He let out a relieved sigh, dropping down on the couch.

“What?” I asked. I was honestly expecting him to flip out because after all, he paid (well, his dad) for this whole expensive apartment.

“I thought you wanted to break up or something, fuck.”

“I-no! Jesus. I just wanted to tell you that I think moving in together-sort of, was too quick and I don’t know, I’d like for things to be the way they used to be. Please don’t get mad.” I asked and he gripped into the back of my knees.

“If you don’t want to stay here I won’t force you. I can rent out the apartment any time, I just want you to be happy.”

“I already told you that I’m happy when I’m with you, and since you can’t sleep here every night, there’s no point in being here.”

He smiled and softly stroked the back of my legs before he pulled me on his lap so that my legs were on either side of his thighs.

I cupped his face and pressed my lips to his before I opened my mouth so our tongues could collide.

His hands tangled in my hair and he pulled me closer by my ass until our crotches were aligned and touching.

His hands slipped under my sweater, fingers dipping into my skin.

“Eww!”

I pulled away, a bit startled, just to see Eddie standing in the doorway with my Minnie. The one that Niall won three years ago.

“What are you doing!” Eddie yelled and padded with his little legs over to the couch, pointing to Niall’s hands that were under my sweater.

“Touching my girlfriend,” Niall answered and Eddie let Minnie fall to the floor before he jumped on the couch. He was to my eye level when he stood. He then managed to pull Niall’s hands away from my body so he could hug my neck.

“Rey is mine!” Eddie said and I wanted to punch a wall because he was so fucking cute.

“No, she’s mine,” Niall argued and placed his hands on my thighs. Eddie stuck his tongue out to his brother and Niall frowned angrily. It was so cute to see them bickering.

“Are we going to get a car?” Eddie then asked, completely changing a subject.

“Yeah.” Niall sighed and I scrambled to my feet so Niall could stand up too and Eddie jumped off the couch.

“I promised him I’d buy him something if he came along with us while we went shopping. I guess we can still go to the mall or something.”

“Sure.” I shrugged and walked to the door.

We got to the mall fifteen minutes later and Eddie immediately grabbed my hand, pointing to a kids’ store he seemed to really like.

Niall rolled his eyes but followed us inside. Eddie quickly found two things he wanted, before he grabbed a snapback with princess Jasmine from the shelf.

“For you!” he told me and put it against my stomach.

“For me?” I asked smiling and he nodded eagerly. “Thanks.”

“You done?” Niall asked, crossing his arms and staring down at Eddie.

“Yeah Ni but can you buy this for Rey please?” Eddie asked and made a cute puppy face as we got in line at the checkout.

“Why?” Niall questioned and Eddie looked up at him.

“Because she would look so pretty!”

“She’s always pretty,” Niall argued, a smile playing on his face.

“Yeah, but she would be even prettier!”

“Fine, if I must.” Niall sighed, barely holding down a smile.

Eddie squealed and clapped his hands.

“You’re such a good brother,” I said in a baby voice when Niall wrapped his hands around my shoulder as we walked out of the shop.

“And a good boyfriend?” he asked, calling Eddie’s name to follow us into a Vans store.

“Debatable.” I snickered and he pinched my arm, before pulling away from me so he could go check out some shoes.

“After this, can we get some ice cream?” Eddie asked, pulling at my sweater as I sat down on one of the chairs.

“Ask your brother,” I told him and he pouted.

“But he says that sugar isn’t good in the evening before bedtime. He’s going to listen to you!”

“Why do you think he’d listen to me?”

“Because he loves you!” he said and I looked up at Niall to see him trying on a hoodie.

“How do you know?”

“Because he told me!”

“What? When?”

“I asked him if he loves you the way mommy loves daddy and he said no and I asked why and he said because mommy loves daddy for his money.”

“That’s so rude of him!”

“And then I asked him how he loves you and he said that he can’t explain it, he just loves you.”

My heart was beating extremely fast and I couldn’t help but want to know more of what Niall told Eddie about me.

“What else did he tell you about me?”

Eddie shrugged.

“He says you’re really beautiful and that you’re the reason his boo-boos are gone.”

“Really?”

“Yes! He used to have boo-boos on his wrists and legs and now they’re gone!” Eddie said excited, coming to stand between my legs, elbows resting on my knees.

“So will you PLEASE ask him for ice cream?”

“Sure.” I agreed and he climbed onto my lap sideways.

“Let’s go check on your brother.”

I secured my arms around his little bum and stood up, walking towards Niall, who was trying on several snapbacks.

“I really don’t know which one to get,” he said and held two different snapbacks in front of me.

“You definitely need a new cap because those other three hundred you got at home aren’t enough.”

He rolled his eyes and decided to get both.

“Ask him!” Eddie whispered, failing, however, which caused Niall to shoot me a questioning look as we made our way out of the store.

“Ask me what?”

“Can we get some ice cream?”

“Did you really use my girlfriend to get ice cream?” Niall asked and Eddie nodded.

“Come on babe, pleaseeeee?” I asked and Eddie joined in. Niall eventually gave up and that’s how we found ourselves at the ice cream parlor on the first floor.

I was halfway through my chocolate chip ice cream when my phone buzzed.

“Fuck.” I mumbled when I saw my mom’s picture on the screen.

“Fuck!” Eddie repeated with his mouth full.

“Language!” Niall warned and I pressed the green square.

“Hello?” I answered and Niall was looking straight at me, probably trying to hear.

“Renee! Hi! How are you!”

“I’m…good? Is there anything wrong?”

“No, not at all! I wanted to let you know that your dad and I just landed and we’re on our way to a hotel in Manhattan.”

“Shit-I mean-yay.”

Great “When do you finish classes tomorrow? We’re thinking of coming for a short visit.”

“Um-I don’t-ugh. I finish at two.”

“Wonderful! We’ll be at your dorm around four?”

“Great.”

“And then we thought we’d fetch some dinner with your brother and Chloe at some fancy restaurant? You can also invite Katherine!”

“Sure mom.”

Niall’s eyes widened and I rolled my eyes.

“See you tomorrow then love! Goodnight!”

“Goodnight,” I mumbled and ended the call, placing my phone on the table and groaning.

“Your mom called?”

“Yeah. They’re in New York.”

“And that’s bad why?”

“Because she’s coming to my dorm tomorrow and I’m currently living in an apartment that costs more than my entire existence and she’s just annoying.”

Niall licked his spoon clean.

“She can’t be that bad.”

“Well, you’re going to meet her anyway and then you can decide for yourself.”

“So am I meeting your parents tomorrow?” he asked and I nodded. Eddie leaned his head against Niall’s shoulder, slowly dozing off.

“Who thought sugar would make him sleepy?” Niall smiled and took him in his arms as we left the mall a few minutes later. Eddie was properly snoozing once we arrived by the apartment building, but unfortunately woke up the second Niall got him out of the car.

“Oh, Jesus he won’t fall back asleep.” Niall groaned and let Eddie down.

“I will!” Eddie argued as we made our way inside, towards the elevators.

“You bet your ass you will or I’m going to lock you in the bathroom.”

“Niall!” I exclaimed when I saw Eddie’s terrified expression.

“I’m serious,” he told me and I rolled my eyes.

“You wouldn’t hurt your brother no matter what.”

He smiled and pressed the button for our floor. Eddie ran to the couch as soon as we entered and jumped on it, giggling.

“Hey, none of that,” Niall said and Eddie pushed him away when Niall tried to get closer.

“Excuse you?!” Niall exclaimed and tackled Eddie on the couch, tickling his sides, which made the little boy squeal and laugh.

I watched them for a couple of seconds before I decided to leave them be and go change into my PJ’s.

Eddie managed to escape Niall’s torture just as I exited the bathroom, dressed for bed with my hair up in a ponytail. Niall helped Eddie change into his pajamas before he told him he could watch TV with us for thirty minutes, and then he had to go to bed.

So there we were, a few minutes later, watching Spongebob and eating popcorn.

“Okay, now you have to go to brush your teeth and go to bed.”

“Why don’t you and Rey go to bed too?” Eddie fought, crossing his arms and looking up at us.

“Because we’re four times your age, that’s why.”

“But I don’t wanna!”

Niall groaned, shooting me a desperate look.

“If we go to sleep too will you go to bed?” I asked Eddie, who nodded.

After we brushed our teeth I got into bed, Eddie climbing in next to me with my Minnie. We both watched Niall undress until he was in just his briefs. He then turned off the light and got under the covers, on Eddie’s other side. Niall reached an arm out for Eddie, but the smaller boy pulled away.

“No! I want to cuddle with Rey.”

“I want to cuddle with Rey too.”

“Who do you want to cuddle with?” Eddie asked, looking at me. I couldn’t see him clearly through the darkness but I knew he had a hopeful glint in his eye.

“With my favorite boy, of course.” I told him and Niall let out a victorious ‘ha!’.

“I meant Eddie.” I let him know and Niall pretended to get mad and turned his back at us.

Eddie cuddled up to me, nuzzling his head into my neck and throwing his tiny leg over my stomach. He smelled so good, like babies and marshmallows.

Okay I’m officially creepy now I smiled to myself and closed my eyes, trying to fall asleep because tomorrow was going to be an exhausting day.

***

The next day after classes Niall drove me back to the apartment so I could get the stuff that wasn’t even unpacked and go back to the dorm. Amy was ecstatic, claiming that she didn’t even sleep without me in the same room.

Amy then left the dorm to go to her afternoon class. Niall stayed with me so he could help me unpack my stuff.

This whole apartment thing seemed like a waste of time and money, and I couldn’t help but feel incredibly guilty about putting Niall through it, but after all, he was the one who suggested it.

“So we’re okay, right?” I asked him as I put my clothes on the hangers.

“Yeah?” he answered, confused as to why I was asking him that.

“Good.”

“Stop tapping your foot against the floor so loud,” he told me after a while of unpacking.

“I’m sorry, I’m just extremely nervous about my parents coming.”

“It’s going to be fine babe.”

“No, you don’t understand! My mom is going to flirt with you and my dad isn’t even going to notice and they’re going to ask questions and she’s going to be judgmental-“

Niall cupped my chin, making me stop with the rambling.

“Baby. Calm down.”

“That’s impossible.”

He looked at me carefully, scanning my face, before a soft smirk spread over his face.

“Then let me help you relax,” he said and I was confused for a second, but then he pushed me onto my bed and dropped to his knees.

“Niall.” I sighed and propped a pillow under my head, looking down at him.

“Shh, baby, just relax,” he mumbled and dug his fingers in the material of my jeans above my knees.

He unzipped my pants and told me to lift my hips so he could pull them off completely, together with my panties. He kissed up from my ankle to my knee, then up my inner thigh until he reached my open-ing. He looked up at me, his beautiful blue eyes glimmering with lust.

“You look so good baby, so fucking sexy all laid out for me,” he whispered and gripped into the back of my knees, propping them up on the bed.

His thumbs pressed into my skin as he pressed a kiss to my clit.

“Fingers or tongue?” he asked.

“Tongue,” I said, my voice shaking.

“Yes sir.” he giggled and bit his lip, looking down.

“Please don’t call me that,” I told him, but my tone died when he buried his head between my legs, arms coming around my thighs.

His fingertips pressed bruises into my skin and he licked a long stripe along my slit before he started teasing my clit.

I closed my eyes, biting my lip and relaxing against his mouth.

“Niall.” I moaned when he sucked my clit into his mouth, pressing his tongue piercing against it, just the way he knew I liked it.

“Does it feel good baby? Hm?” he asked, looking up at me, and fuck, he looked so hot when he did that.

“Yeah. Shut up.”

He licked his lips and licked a long stripe once again, before his tongue entered me, making me groan and arch my back.

He started tongue fucking me and it felt so good, I couldn’t even manage to let out another word, other than moans.

I tangled my hands into his hair, holding it in a tight grip.

His fucking tongue piercing was doing miracles to my body, and I could feel that tight feeling pooling in the pit of my stomach like I was about to cum.

“Niall I’m so fucking close, I-“

“Let it go, baby,” he whispered against me and that’s when I reached my climax, coming all over his mouth.

“Fuck, you taste so good.” he praised, licking his mouth before he stood up, rubbing his knees and wiping his mouth with the back of his hand. I smiled and sat up, looking for some new clothes that I could greet my parents in.

I decided on a New York crop top, a red suspender skirt, and some blue Vans that had recently become my new favorite thing to wear.

It was just in time because the next thing my phone buzzed on the table. It was a text from my mom, letting me know that she and my dad were in front of the building, waiting.

“Okay, this is it,” I told myself before I prayed for a few seconds.

“I thought I helped you relax,” Niall told me after we washed our hands at the bathroom and proceeded to walk down the hallway to the elevator.

“Okay, before you meet them I just want to tell you that-” I said but didn’t get to finish because Niall was already pushing the door open, and it took me less than two seconds to find my parents by a probably rented expensive Jeep.

“Holy shit.” Niall breathed into my ear, just as my mom turned around from talking to my dad.

And of course, she was wearing a revealing red dress, expensive earrings, and some elegant gladiators. I could literally smell her perfume from all the way here.

“She’s smaller than you, it’s fucking ridiculous,” Niall whispered in my ear as she neared me.

“RENEE!” she exclaimed, throwing her hands up in the air, before she came over to us, meeting us halfway.

“Moooom.” I trailed off and she hugged me.

My dad smiled, taking slow steps towards us.

Mom looked up at Niall, surprised. But of course, it wasn’t long before her surprise turned into lust and she got that predator look on her face.

“And who is this?” she asked, looking Niall up and down, staring a few seconds too long at his crotch, smirking.

Please God have some mercy “I’m Niall. Rey’s boyfriend.”

”Oh my god! Are you Katherine’s Niall?” mom exclaimed and that’s when dad stepped in, just as Niall nodded.

Dad smiled, hugging me and kissing my temple.

“Hey, honey.”

“Hi, dad.”

“How are you?” he asked.

“Good.”

“Soooooo what’s going on here? Is it serious?” my mom continued and I rolled my eyes, turning to face Niall.

“Yeah, mom, it is. So please.”

“Please what?”

“Just-don’t.”

She frowned, and I could see she was a bit hurt but honestly, she flirted with literally all the boys I knew, and Niall was the only one I actually cared about.

“Don’t what?” she urged and Niall changed the subject, asking them if they wanted to visit the sorority and frat house too. Of course, my mom agreed and dad just shrugged.

We walked to the sorority house first, and I was extremely relieved that my dad seemed to take a liking to Niall because they talked about soccer and basketball and stuff.

“And this is my fraternity, I’m the president,” Niall told them, opening the door and stepping in.

There were three guys in the living room, the rest of them in the back garden, grilling. When we stepped out into the back garden, some heads turned to us.

I saw Jake’s eyes falling on me, then on my mom, then on my dad. And that’s when his eyebrows shot up in the air, a smirk spreading over his face.

“No.” I mouthed to him, holding up a finger. “NO!”

“Yasss.” he mouthed back before he handed his beer to Bryan, who was talking to Maddie.

He made his way over to us.

“Hello! Hi! You must be Rey’s parents!”

“Hi.” my mother purred, shaking Jake’s hand.

“And you must be Rey’s dad…I see who she gets her good looks from,” Jake said and my mom turned to me.

“Is he-?”

“Yeah.”

“Oh.”

“But there are a dozen other straight guys here if you want to choose,” I said and she was taken aback.

Why was she even so surprised? She was the one throwing herself at all these guys.

After I introduced her to everyone I knew, Zayn asked us if we wanted anything to eat. My mom declined, but Niall and I said yes.

“You sure?” my mom asked after I filled a paper plate with some chicken and potatoes.

“Yeah, why?” I asked, getting a really awful feeling in the pit of my stomach.

“Because you’ve put on a bit of weight.”

“What?”

“A piercing isn’t really appropriate for a muffin top,” she said, pressing her nail against my revealed stomach. My lashes faltered, and I was embarrassed that everyone probably heard it.

“Uh.” was all I managed to say. I felt my heart starting to beat faster and I wanted to get away from her before she starts insulting me in front of everyone.

My mom shot me a ‘don’t-mess-with-me’ look before she turned around and swayed her hips over to my dad.

I let my head down and tried to ignore her voice repeating over and over in my head.

You’ve put on a bit of weight You’ve put on a bit of weight You’ve put on a bit of weight I bit my lip and grabbed a plastic fork from the table, digging it into a piece of chicken. I turned away from my mother, who was sipping on a drink offered by some frat boy.

I tried to pretend that I was listening in on Maddie’s and Bryan’s conversation, but failed because my mom’s words kept repeating themselves.

I saw Niall stepping towards me, a bottle of beer in his left hand, which came around my neck as he stopped behind me to place his chin on the top of my head.

His right hand came to rest on my revealed stomach, patting the exact same place that my mom’s finger pressed on.

I leaned back against his chest and he pressed a kiss to my temple.

“Don’t listen to your mum, you’re perfect,” he whispered so only I could hear him.

My heart suddenly felt warmer and I smiled.

Who cares about what my mom thinks as long as I have Niall who likes me just the way I am …I do I felt really weird and bad about this situation, so I decided to place the plate back on the table and go chat with Zayn who was alone at the table, drinking water and smoking a cigarette.

“Hi,” I said and he nodded, not bothering to let go of his cigarette.

“Where’s James?” I asked and he shrugged.

“We’re not tied to the hip Rey,” he told me and I knew I stroked a nerve there.

“Is everything okay between you guys?”

“I don’t know, ask that girl he’s been fucking recently.”

“What?” I suddenly remembered that girl from a week or so ago, at the party, who was dancing with James.

“I don’t want to talk about it.” he then said and took another drag.

“Okay, sorry.”

I looked away from him, towards the people in the garden, and I rolled my eyes when I saw my mom chatting with Niall, hand on her hip and a flirty smile on her face.

I sighed and decided to ignore that, but there was that unpleasant feeling was still in the pit of my stomach.

And I was scared as fuck, because the last time I had this feeling was when I was twelve and overweight.

We left an hour later, leaving Niall at the frat house, so I had to walk with my parents back to my dorm, where they could get their Jeep and go to their hotel to change for dinner.

“So I’m going to change the reservation for ten at Madison Park.”

“Why? Who else is coming?”

“Well, you already know, your brother and Chloe, Katherine and her boyfriend, us, and oh, your best friend.”

“Best friend?”

“Jake something.”

“Oh is he?” I asked.

He did not “Yes, and he’s bringing his boyfriend, Max.” my dad informed me and I sighed. At least he’s bringing Max, or else he would definitely end up ogling my dad and Chris all night.

“Well then. We’ll meet you there at eight, right?” I asked and he confirmed.

My mom didn’t even bother to say goodbye to me as they got back in the car and drove away.

Once I got back to the dorm, I picked out some clothes. I decided to wear a red sleeveless blouse, a white skirt and red pumps to match the shirt.

After I showered I dressed up and put my makeup on in my room, then proceeded to curl the tips of my hair and send Niall a text as I sat on my bed, around quarter past seven.

Rey: when are you coming?

Niall: when you let me ;)

Rey: Niall Niall: Renee Niall: jake max and I are coming in five minutes. I’m in the car right now I was glad he was starting to write grammatically correct texts.

Then I clicked on my conversation with Jake.

Rey: I heard you were coming tonight. My dad and brother are off-limits Jake: do u think im some kind of whore?

Rey: do you honestly want me to answer that Jake: nevermind :))) im actually after your mother babe. She’s hot af Rey: why am I friends with you Jake: because I’m hot and gay and u owe me Rey: owe you for what?????

Jake: do I need to get started on nialls dick Rey: just get here Jake: u can come down, we’re around the corner I locked my phone and put it in my clutch, before I grabbed the keys and locked the door, then made my way down the hallway, already nervous about tonight.

As soon as I opened the door and climbed in, I was met by three different smells of extremely good men's perfume.

“Hi.” I greeted them and made eye contact with Jake through the rearview mirror. He winked and I drifted my attention to Niall, who was looking at my choice of clothing.

“What?” I asked, suddenly getting self-conscious, something that never happened before with Niall.

“Nothing, you look really good. But I can see your bra through that shirt,” he said and I looked down as he started driving.

“So?”

“So boys are going to stare.”

“You don’t have to worry about that,” Jake said from the backseat and Max laughed. “Don’t get me wrong, babe, you’re hot but boobs aren’t really my thing.”

“I get it, idiot.”

Jake made a kissy noise and I turned my head to look at Niall. It was then that I realized that he actually cleaned up really nicely.

His blond hair was swiped in a soft fringe across his forehead and every single piercing was gone, even the one in his tongue.

He wore a black blazer and an orange button-up with black jeans and black Vans. He looked so good.

“You’re staring,” he stated and I smiled, turning my head away.

“Because you look good.”

“I always look good,” he said and placed a hand on my thigh when he stopped at a red light after we crossed the bridge.

“Do you guys need a room?” Jake asked and I laughed.

“With himself maybe,” I said and they burst out laughing.

We got to the restaurant five minutes later. It was a two-story building, with fancy lights from I could see and it even had valley parking. Niall left his car to a man and smiled down at me before he intertwined our fingers.

“Don’t be nervous yeah baby?” he said and I nodded, even though I was freaking out inside. God knows what my mom would do next.

And yes, maybe I was over exaggerating, but I knew this dinner wasn’t going to end with laughs and a good atmosphere.

The hostess greeted us as soon as we entered the restaurant and asked us for our reservation name.

“Parker.”

“Table sixty-eight, first floor.”

“So close,” Niall whispered to me and I rolled my eyes because of course, he would make something dirty out of anything.

We followed a waiter up to our table, and I wasn’t pleased to see that everyone was already there, in the middle of a seemingly funny conversation.

Jake and Max walked in front of us and I leaned over to Niall.

“Let’s pray,” I told him and he snorted.

We took our seats and I ended up between Jake and Niall, right across from my mom.

“Never thought I’d see you in something this elegant.” my mom said and my hands twitched in my lap because god, here we go.

Luckily, a waiter came up to our table and we ordered our drinks. Jake, Ricky, and Max got beer, my mom and dad got wine, saying that their hotel was right across the street, and the rest of us got a coke.

“Diet Coke,” my mom corrected me when I told the waiter my order. My eyes snapped to her, trying to tell her to stop with just my look. She lifted her brows and pursed her lips, tilting her head.

It was her bitchy look. She used it rarely because she was a good mother most of the time. But when she got really mad, she took a long time to forgive.

It was partially my fault because I told her she was a cougar (indirectly).

Who knew she would get offended?

The waiter left and because my dad started up a conversation with Jake and Max, and Katherine with Chris, Ricky, and Chloe, my mom decided to smile at Niall.

“So what happened between you and Sam? He never really told me why you two broke up.”

“You talked to him after you know we were broken up?” I asked, because of course.

“I’ve met him on a couple of occasions,” she said and I cringed at her suggestive tone.

Her eyes drifted to my dad, who wasn’t even paying attention.

“I liked Sam. You were cute together.” she continued and Niall’s leg started to move quickly up and down, nervously.

“Yeah well, I didn’t,” I told her and placed a hand on Niall’s thigh.

“What about you Niall?” my mom asked.

Shit “What about me what?” he asked.

“Any previous girlfriends?”

“No.”

“I don’t believe that!” my mom smiled, surprised, leaning her elbows on the table, showing off some generous cleavage.

I saw Niall’s eyes drift down to her chest, and my mom’s satisfied smirk made me really uncomfortable.

I trailed my hand up Niall’s leg, nearing his zipper.

His eyes snapped down at me and I kept my gaze on my mom, who started joined in dad’s conversation.

Chris asked Niall a question and he answered as I zipped down his pants, sliding my hand under his tight briefs.

I smiled when I felt him up, to reveal that he was already hard under my touch.

My fingers wrapped around his cock and I pretended to listen in on his conversation. I had to bite back a smile when Niall was asked a complicated question and had to try not to stutter all the way through his answer.

I pressed my thumb against his tip, my heart beating faster when Katherine shot me a confused look from across the table.

I began to slowly pump my fist up and down, so it wouldn’t be noticeable, and I had no idea why I was doing this. All I knew was that I enjoyed it and loved seeing Niall flustered, trying to keep calm.

I almost burst out laughing when the waiter came and took our orders, right as I felt Niall twitch in my hand, meaning he was really close. My fingers grazed his balls and he bit his lip, probably dreading the moment all eyes would be on him for the order.

After Ricky finished his order, it was Niall’s turn. His cheeks were flushed red and it was so beautiful and cute, I almost stopped to admire him.

“I’d like the steak with fries and some chocolate ice cream for dessert,” he said, the last word coming out in a high pitched tone, and he came into my palm.

I saw Jake shoot him a confused look before he did a double-take, eyes drifting down to my hand. His eyes widened and his lips twitched up in a proud smirk.

I grabbed a tissue with my left hand, wiping my right one on it and throwing it in my clutch.

“Rey, it’s your turn.” dad said and I nodded, just as Niall excused himself from the table.

“Um, I’d like the same please,” I told the waiter because I didn’t have time to look through the menu.

“You sure you want steak this late? It goes straight to your stomach and thighs.” mom said and I dug my nails in my palms because definitely heard her this time.

I knew I had red cheeks, but Jake thankfully told his order.

I also thanked God that Niall wasn’t here to hear that, because I was scared he would actually pay attention to what my mom said and agree with her.

He returned when our orders were already taken, and asked if he missed anything, then leaned over to whisper in my ear:

“You’re fucking crazy.”

I turned my head to whisper back.

“You like it.”

He kissed my ear in response then pulled back and asked me what I ordered.

“Same as you.”

He smiled and took a sip from his coke bottle, not bothering to pour it into the glass.

“What wedding?” my mom asked, overhearing Katherine telling Ricky about Louis and Chris’s wedding in a month.

“Two of our friends are getting married in London next month.”

“Who?”

“Louis and Chris, you don’t know them,” I told her.

“Two guys? Am I invited?” she asked.

“Not really.”

She shot me a stern look, then sipped on her wine.

“I don’t think I’ll be coming anyway,” she told Katherine. “We’re actually going to Germany to a Leonard Cohen concert. That’s how we, actually.”

And because Jake seemed to be really interested in how my parents met, my mom started telling her whole life story.

Of course, she’s going to make everything about herself I pretended to listen, even though I’d heard this story too many times already.

When our food finally arrived, I was literally starving. I happily dug into my fries, cutting my steak, and occasionally taking sips from my coke.

“Don’t you think you ate a bit much?” my mom asked and my fingers clenched around the fork.

“You don’t want to get fat again, do you?”

I bit my lip and felt everyone’s eyes on me. I wanted to cry and felt a lump in my throat as I kept eating, trying to ignore her.

I felt Niall’s hand on my thigh, stroking up and down before he squeezed it as if to let me know that he was here.

I finished my meal and dessert too.

Fuck you mom We left the restaurant at half-past ten when my parents were tipsy and Jake started making inappropriate advances to Max and my brother at the same time.

We got him in the car with difficulty, and I didn’t even say goodbye to my parents because my mind was in a whole other place.

Fat again Ate a bit much Muffintop All those words kept going through my mind and I tried to ignore them by turning on the radio.

“You know I saw the handjob,” Jake said from the backseat and Niall lifted his eyes to look at him through the rearview mirror.

“Nice cock Niall,” he added before he turned his attention to me. “And I bow down to you Rey.”

He then dozed off on Max’s shoulder and was passed out by the time we got to my dorm.

“Thanks,” I told Niall. “My family loves you.”

He smiled and turned the key in the ignition, getting out of the car to come and open my door.

He then walked me inside, arm coming around my shoulders as soon as we entered the building.

“You okay?”

I shrugged. “Sure.”

“Don’t listen to your mom yeah? I hope you don’t.”

I rolled my eyes. “I’m not going to like, relapse or anything. Don’t worry. She’s just mean.”

He gave me a sad smile, stopping in front of my door.

“Do you want me to come back after I drop off those two idiots?”

“If you want. Or I can change and come to yours? There’s a bigger bed.”

“Get your clothes and you can shower at mine.”

“Okay.” I agreed and he smiled, waiting for me to pick out some clothes for tomorrow and tonight.

I packed a duffle bag before we walked back to the car.

When we arrived at the frat house Niall and Max helped Jake get out of the car before they carried him up the stairs and let him fall on his bed.

“I’m going to um-take a shower,” I told Niall, who unbuttoned the first buttons of his shirt.

“Okay. I’m going downstairs for a bit.”

I smiled and took out my cotton pajama pants and a tank top before I went into his bathroom and locked the door.

I set my clothes on the windowsill and tied my hair into a ponytail before I took off my skirt and blouse.

I cringed when I saw my stomach in the mirror before I turned so I could see my profile, running my hand over it and pinching at the fat. An unsettling feeling started pooling in the pit of my stomach, and I was scared of the thoughts running through my head, the same thoughts from seven years ago.

I hated the way my stomach was bloated from the coke and the food, bulging out horribly. I sighed and actually agreed with my mother’s words in my head.

I stepped towards the shower but suddenly stopped by the toilet.

I hate myself for actually thinking about making myself throw up I chewed on my bottom lip as I played with the strap of my bra, not moving from my place.

“Fuck.” I mumbled and dropped to my knees in front of the toilet, putting the seat up.

I licked my lips before I opened my mouth and stuck two fingers down my throat, but nothing came up.

Then I got to my feet and tried again. This time it worked, and I managed to empty everything I had in my stomach until I was dry heaving.

After I wiped the toilet clean and flushed, I washed my hands and hopped into the shower, feeling disgustingly proud of myself.

Once I was done showering I brushed my teeth and changed into my pj’s, then walked downstairs to join Niall and a few other guys in the living room.

They were playing on the Xbox and I cuddled up to Niall while he was in a game with Zayn against Bryan and Josh.

He seemed to have made up with Josh, and I was glad that I didn’t have to feel guilty anymore for separating him from his frat brothers.

“You sleepy babe?” he asked when he passed the controller to Max, letting him take his place.

“A bit,” I said and yawned.

“Let’s go to bed then.”

I nodded and got up, waiting for Niall to take his bottle of water from the coffee table, and then proceeding to go up the stairs.

“Niall!” I exclaimed when he grabbed my waist from behind and turned me around, kissing me.

“What? Can’t I kiss my girlfriend?” he asked smiling, before he kissed down my neck, pulling me into him as he walked back to his door.

“We’re in the hallway,” I said and he opened the door with his free hand and pulled me inside.

“What’s gotten into you?” I asked when he placed the bottle on his desk, then pulled me over him on the bed.

He didn’t answer, but he flipped us over instead and snaked his arm under my tank top.

“Your skin is so soft.”. he mumbled, kissing my neck.

And by soft you mean fat “Niall…I’m really tired,” I told him.

“I’m not going to do anything…I just like touching you. I like feeling you close. You make me feel so…weird.”

My heart started beating faster and he ran his hand up my stomach before he rolled off me and patted my thigh to let me know that I could cuddle up to him.

I smiled and shuffled closer to him, burying my nose in his neck and placing my leg between his.

We were silent for a while, trying to fall asleep but I couldn’t, because all I could think about was what I was going to eat tomorrow and trying to remember how many calories certain foods had.

“You okay?” Niall whispered and I was startled, thinking that he already fell asleep.

“What? Yeah. Why?”

“Because you’ve been drawing shapes into my skin for a while now and that means you can’t sleep because there’s something keeping you up.”

“It’s nothing.”

“I thought you were tired.”

“I am,” I said, and wondered if he understood the double meaning of my words.

There was a short silence and he cupped my chin to make me look up at him, even though it was pitch black in the room.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s not because of what your mother said, is it?”

“No, fuck her.”

“I’d rather not,” he said, trying to ease the atmosphere but failing. “Seriously, what’s up.”

“Nothing, Niall. Please.”

“Please what.”

I remained silent, closing my eyes.

“I’m going to sleep now.” I let him know and he sighed.

He started playing with my hair as I slowly fell asleep, hoping that tomorrow I would feel different about my weight and the way I looked. Everything just came out of a sudden. The insecurities, the worries about how I would look the next day, how many calories I’ll be allowed tomorrow, and how much weight I could lose in a certain amount of time.

I felt Niall slowly shift underneath me, and his breathing was uneven, meaning that he wasn’t asleep yet.

I wondered what kept him up at night, what was going through his head right before he fell asleep, what was the last thing that he thought of before he fell asleep, wondering if it was me.

I’m fat Why would he I gulped and tried to count sheep.

“Rey?” he whispered but I kept still. I didn’t want him to ask further questions.

“You awake baby?”

I didn’t answer.

He squeezed my shoulder, still playing with my hair.

What if he’ll agree with my mother if we go to dinner after Chris’ graduation and she starts commenting again?

What if he breaks up with me because I’m fat?

I frowned and tried to even out my breaths.

Niall “I’m not going to do anything…I just like touching you. I like feeling you close. You make me feel so…weird.” I told her as I ran my hand up her stomach.

And my weird I mean in love and scared I rolled off of her and patted the back of her thigh so she knew she could cuddle up to me now.

I couldn’t hold back a smile when she buried her nose into my neck, tickling me a bit.

There was something wrong with her, something was off because she kept rubbing circles into my arm, and she only did that when she had something on her mind and wanted to relax.

“You okay?” I whispered.

“What? Yeah. Why?”

“Because you’ve been drawing shapes into my skin for a while now and that means you can’t sleep because there’s something keeping you up.”

“It’s nothing.”

“I thought you were tired.”

“I am.”

I wondered if there was a double meaning behind her words.

“Are you okay?”

“I’m fine.”

“It’s not because of what your mother said, is it?” I asked her, fearing the answer.

The first time her mother insulted her on her looks made me really angry because how dare she call Rey something other than perfect I then rolled my eyes because I realized I’d become a real sap.

The second time she called Rey out for eating too much I wasn’t angry. I was scared because I knew that even though Rey seemed pretty confident she still had some major insecurities, the major ones being her height, boobs, and weight.

“No, fuck her.”

Her voice snapped me out of my thoughts.

“I’d rather not,” I said. “Seriously, what’s up.”

“Nothing, Niall. Please.”

“Please what.”

She remained silent, closing her eyes.

“I’m going to sleep now.”

I sighed.

I started playing with her hair, as she seemed to drift off to sleep.

I stared at the ceiling for a while, thinking about how she must’ve felt tonight when everyone’s eyes were on her while her mum called her out on her weight.

I hope she doesn’t believe anything her mum says There’s no way she’ll relapse, is there?

I heard her softly gulp, meaning that she was still up.

“Rey?” I whispered but she didn’t move.

She was probably asleep.

“You awake baby?”

She didn’t answer.

I squeezed her shoulder, still playing with her hair.

I saw her frown, which meant she was having a bad dream and all I wanted to do was to make her nightmares turn to dreams, her insecurities into confidence, and her bad days into good ones.

I just want to make her happy I wanted to make her happy because she made me happy. She helped me stop self-harming, I’d been clean for almost a month and I hadn’t smoked in almost two months. All thanks to her.

I ran my fingers up and down the soft skin of her arm. She was so warm and she fitted so perfectly into my arms, it made me think that she was meant for me.

But there was still a question going through my head, a question that I was so afraid to know the answer to.

Does she love me?

At least as much as I love her?

Rey I felt Niall’s finger run up and down my arms, making goosebumps rise on my skin.

His heart was beating really fast and I wondered what he could be thinking about.

I then slowly started falling asleep, but then felt his lips come down to the top of my head, grazing my hair.

What the fuck Is he smelling my hair What is he doing, I asked myself as he held me tighter.

“I love you,” he whispered, making my heart stop. “I love you so much it scares me.”