Chapter 55

Alessia.

“Gosh! We’re finally home!” I exclaimed crashing on the couch. I rubbed my palms over my tummy. “Someone would think I'm pregnant with your child with the amount of food you fed me this night,” I said.

A sly smile curved up his lips as he joined me on the couch, loosening his tie. He didn’t have to say anything for me to know what was going on in his head. I threw him a glare. “Don’t even dare. I’ve delivered my job successfully with an extra. So I’m freed.”

His eyes darted left to right. “Well, I’m thankful for that. But that doesn’t mean it’s the end.” I said upright confused at his words.

“I don’t get. I thought the agreement was to rile him up a bit?” Ryan's face fell and he exhaled a deep breath squatting closer. The proximity and the way his eyes were swirling with something I couldn’t put my finger on, didn’t sit well with me.

He looked into my eyes. Intently. “It’s totally up to you to back out, but….” He trailed off, his eyes going down to my lips. I clenched my dress tightly, gulping down. There was no doubt he was going to kiss me. But was I ready yet?

His face kept on getting closer and my eyes didn’t stop pounding loudly inside. Just one step closer and our lips would be touching, but I jolted up to my feet. “Um…I should retire to my room. I’m so exhausted.” I said with my back facing him.

“Is it because of him?” His voice cut through the silence. I didn’t answer him because I knew who he was referring to. However, the truth of the matter was, did I reject the kiss because of Angelo?

“I knew seeing him today will stir up your feelings, Alessia.”

I clenched my jaw before turning around. “I have moved on from him, Ryan.”

“No. You have not.” He declared standing up. I saw the disappointment in Ryan’s eyes. The pain of rejection was running in his eyes.

“You still have feelings for Angelo. I am not a seer but I can see it in your eyes.” His tone was bitter.

Although I don’t know whether what he said was true but I still needed to defend myself. “I don’t, Ryan. You need to-”

“Why did you reject my kiss then? Because you know deep down your heart still belongs to him. You don’t want to let another man in.”

I don’t know what right Ryan thinks he has to say all that to me. It was as if he was inside my soul. He knew what I was feeling inside. I wanted to say something but couldn’t. Truth be told, seeing Angelo easier had ignited dead feelings out of me. I kept telling myself that I had moved on. But I still couldn’t stop thinking about him after we left. I couldn’t get his face out of my mind. Doesn’t it feel like a torture? For someone who hurt you, who doesn’t want anything to do with you?

“I’m tired, Ryan. I want to rest.” I replied proceeding to walk away when he pulled me back to face him again. “I am not going to let you go until you give me an answer.”

He was beginning to piss me off with his behavior. “What answer, Ryan?”

“You still love Angelo.”

I gulped down my saliva. “No. Now let me go.” But he didn’t. “You are lying.”

I closed my eyes and opened them again. “Why exactly are you doing this? Would my answer make a difference?”

“Yes, it will. Because you can’t give me the green light and then turn back to the red light now. It doesn’t work that way.”

A confused chuckle erupted from me. “I don’t get you, Ryan. When did I give you the green light? The relationship was mutual. It was all part of work.” I tried to explain.

It was his turn to scoff. “All part of work? You mean all the late-night talks, the fun moments was nothing to you?” The hurt in his eyes was deemed visible.

“You’re a good man. I value our friendship and-”

“You don’t!” I was startled at his reaction. “You’re rejecting because of your lover! If you still don’t have feelings for him, why turn your back on me now!”

I was shocked at his behavior and didn’t know what was happening. How did we go from being happy with our achievements to fighting? Ryan has never shown his ugly side to me. Seeing it now scared me.

“Tell me you don’t love, Angelo. I just need to hear that to believe our one month together was a scam.” He said taking a bit of a step back.

I know for a fact that giving Ryan hope will only make the situation worse. If our one-month friendship meant something serious to him, then there’s no point in hiding things.

“Yes.” I finally answered. Ryan’s eyes slightly opened. I boldly took a step forward. “Yes. I still love Angelo. His love has never faded away. My heart still beats for him.” I confessed.

“I’m sorry if you feel like I was taking advantage of our friendship. But I didn’t want our friendship to end because of this. I value our friendship.” Something flickers in his eyes.

He withdraws back, sitting back down. “I thought I could fill in his spot.”

I also thought being away from him would make me forget him. But I was proved wrong today. I have never moved on. I still love Angelo.

“I’m sorry, Ryan. I love you. But as a friend.”

He nodded his head flashing out a smile that didn’t reach his eyes. I knew he was hurt. But I didn’t know how to comfort him. “It’s fine.”

“I’m sorry,” I repeated

“I understand. We don’t always get what we want. I’m happy for you.” He said that to kill off the conversation but I knew it wasn’t genuine. Nevertheless, I didn’t press further.

“Good night, Ryan.”

I retired back to my room, and sat down on the bed, holding my hair in my palms. At some point, I had the feeling that Ryan liked me. I just didn’t expect him to react this way. I stayed in that position for some time thinking of what to do. I most definitely know that we would be awkward. I had been feeling bad about staying in his house and burdening him.

Maybe Angelo was right all along. It would be better to return to where I came from. I won’t have to hurt people around me more. I pulled open the nightstand drawer and fished out my SIM. I recalled the night I took it out. Away from Angelo’s reach and Anita.

Without wasting time, I put it back on the phone and switched it on. My hand hovered over the contact details. “Let’s do this, Alessia.” I muffled out deeply before pressing the call button.

My heart thumped loudly as I waited for the call to get picked up. When the familiar voice resonated through the phone, I held in my breathing. I was overwhelmed with the fact that it was answered. “Hello, Mom.” I started.

“Please don’t hang up. Hear me out.” I pleaded.

A rustling sound formed in the background before she spoke up. “Alessia.” The mention of my name from her mouth was a sign that the call might not end up in bitterness.

“I’m sorry I took a long time to call again. How are you, Mom?”

“I’m good.” Her reply was short and strict but it was still better than nothing. “What about Dad? How is he?”

“He fine too. He’s in the living room.”

Silence then prevailed. It was thick enough that I didn’t know what to say next. The fact that I heard her voice was even enough. “I read the news.” She broke the silence and said.

I adjusted my sitting position. “What news?”

“The project you worked on. Your name was mentioned in the article.”

My vision began turning blurry. “You…keep tabs?” I choked at my words.

“Yes. I couldn’t help it.”

I placed my palms over my heart and felt it beat through it. With the way they reacted to my call the first time, I thought I lost them. However, hearing her say she was keeping tabs on my work, warmed up my heart.

“I have a lot to tell you and Dad. I’m sorry about everything. A lot of things have happened while—”

“You don’t have to explain anymore. I’m sorry about how I reacted last time. I was overwhelmed by the fact that you abandoned your family. Your Dad and I haven’t been in peace since you left. I wanted to call but was scared of my actions.”

Okay, I was already crying. Her words had hit me harder than I expected. The support of your family is the best.

“Mom,” I called, more tears gushing out. “Do you want me to return home?” I have to be sure they want me back home before I take this step.

“Yes, Alessia. Your Dad and I want our daughter back home. Come back for us.”