Chapter 166: Home Sweet Home

“Mom, Mom!” Egan called at her as she came out of the bathroom. “Uncle Jerren said we’re going to live in a mansion. A real live mansion.” He was bouncing in the aisles of the plane. “He said I can pick out whatever room I want, and I can even get it painted however I want. I can get a dinosaur room or a space room or even,” he was clutching his hands together at his chest, his eyes wide with excitement, “a superhero room.”

“You sure can, buddy,” she wasn’t going to burst his bubble. “If you want, you can even make a room a supervillains room. It would work better with the entire aesthetic of the house.”

“Gen,” Kiefer’s voice hissed behind her.

“What? He loves the bad guys, don’t you buddy? Who was the creepy guy you liked so much on the spiderman movie you watched?”

“Doc Oc!” he jumped up excitedly.

She shot a look at Kiefer, “see?” She leaned against a chair and stared at her son, annoyed with herself because she needed to play nice when really, she wanted to scream at the top of her lungs about the injustice of it all. Astra’s words from earlier were ringing in her ears. Her son would abandon her in this moment for the flash of money and the scent of testosterone. She knew though this would be short lived. Once Kiefer, Tadgh and Jerren went back to normal, disappearing and leaving her and Egan alone in the big house, the thrill of fancy gaming systems, big bedrooms and big bearded armed men would dissipate, and he’d be back to being her sweet boy who loved his mama more than anyone else.

“Mom,” Egan tugged her hand and pursed his lips, “did you know this plane even has a bedroom?”

“I do. I slept there once when we flew from Boston to Ireland.”

“Did you sleep there with my dad?” he gave Kiefer a questioning look before he looked back at her.

“I don’t remember,” she lied. “It was a long time ago. Now,” she gripped his chin and made a show of wiping off a hint of sauce she’d missed when she wiped his face in the restaurant instead of looking at the smirk she knew was on Kiefer’s face, “how is your belly feeling after your big dinner and now flying?”

“It’s good,” he shrugged.

“Do you have any questions or anything you want to talk about?” She asked him, “a lot has happened in the last few hours.”

“Why didn’t Auntie Astra want to come with us?”

“Oh, that’s a big question,” she lifted him up and sat him on the edge of a table, not shying away from his curious gaze. “Do you remember what we talked about last night?”

Egan gave his father a worried glance and a solemn nod in her direction, “yeah.”

“What did Mommy tell you last night?” She encouraged him.

He leaned forward and whispered, “do you want me to say in front of him?”

“Yes.”

“You said his family was dangerous and there were bad guys, and my dad couldn’t keep you safe, so you ran away to be safe from the bullies who killed my brother.”

“Right.” She ignored Kiefer’s furious growl. “There are bad people in the family, and I said while Kiefer never physically hurt me, he didn’t keep me safe from the bullies. Astra doesn’t think she will be safe with us if we go to Boston with Kiefer and because of this she decided to protect herself.”

“This is bullshit,” Tadgh was on his feet and right behind Kiefer.

“Bullshit,” she turned her gaze to him, “implies I am lying. Did I lie?” When Tadgh glared at her, she raised her eyebrows at him, “tell the truth Tadgh. Am I lying? Do you consider Aoife, Barry or Laoise good people?”

“No, but” he waved his hand frustratedly.

“Did you do anything to protect me from them, any of you?” she waved at the three men who were very furious with her and barely kept it at bay. “Kiefer, you keep telling me how they spiked your entire stash of your personal drink,” she chose her words carefully, “which means you didn’t even keep yourself safe and they,” she flicked her fingers in Jerren and Tadgh’s direction, “sure as hell weren’t there to keep you safe. Your family pushed me down a flight of stairs. Your family is dangerous and powerful but none of you know the first thing about keeping someone protected.” She was proud of herself for keeping her voice even and her words measured.

“He’s a little boy,” Kiefer snarled, “and you’re filling his head.”

“With the truth,” she cut him off. “I am being forced against my will to bring my son back to place where I don’t feel safe. I want him to be aware, his eyes wide open and for him to know while you,” she jabbed her finger in Kiefer’s chest, “might not be focused on ensuring he is always safe, I will never leave him alone. I need him to know when he’s scared because things are getting hard, he can turn to me to keep him safe. I will do whatever it takes to keep him safe. I am not the woman I was seven years ago Kiefer. I’m strong. For him,” she put her hand on Egan’s shoulder, “I would fight to the death. I agree with Astra. Bringing him to Boston is dangerous but I’m not Astra. I don’t have the luxury of walking away. Egan is my heart and soul. I live and breathe every moment of my day for him and him alone. The minute,” she moved to step closer to Kiefer, not backing down, “I feel he is at risk because of the insanity of your gang, you won’t get a second chance to keep him safe. There will be no do overs or second chances. You put him at risk even once, I’ll end the three of you.”

“Mom,” Egan made wide eyes and swallowed nervously, tugging on her sleeve, “you’re making them angry.”

“Does it frighten you to see them angry?” she asked bluntly.

He nodded.

“Then they need to learn to control their anger because the last thing you should be, is afraid of them. Their role is to keep you safe. Dads and uncles keep their family safe and if they are making you fear them and fear their tempers, then it is not safety you are feeling in their presence.” She cupped his cheeks and pressed a kiss to his forehead, “but I want you to know, no matter what they will do, what any of them will do, you don’t need to be scared of them.”

“I don’t?”

“No. Do you know why?”

“Because you’ll keep me safe,” his voice was tiny. “Even if they are so big?”

“Is Spiderman bigger than the people he has to fight?”

“No but he has webs.”

“I might not have webs, but I have lots of other skills. See when I was given the gift of you, while you grew in my belly, one of the things I also grew was in my heart,” he took his little hand and held it to her chest, “do you feel it?”

He nodded and gave her a shy smile, “it’s beating very fast, Mom.”

“It is. When God put you in my belly, when he blessed me to be your mom, he gave me a strong heart because he knew you were going to need a mom who could be there for you, even when things get really hard. I will never stop fighting to keep you with me, Egan. Not ever. Even if you get angry with me, like you did last night, even if someone else tries to take you from me,” she shot Kiefer an annoyed look, “or even if bad people try to come between us or hurt us, I will fight to be with you until this,” she pressed his hand against her heart, “stops beating. Do you know why?”

“Because you love me.”

“Because I love you more than anyone else alive on this planet.”

“I love you too, Mom. I’m sad Auntie Astra got scared and left. You would have kept her safe too.”

“Astra is a grown up and she has to make her own decisions.”

“I can’t believe she left us though Mom.”

“I’m going to miss her an awful lot but just like we’re starting a new adventure, she’s going to go on her new adventure.”

“Okay.”

“Do you have other questions?”

“Yes.” He swung his foot nervously.

“What do you want to know?”

“When my dad and Uncle Tadgh aren’t wearing different coats, how do you tell them apart?”

“Oh, that’s easy,” she made wide eyes as the two men snorted. “They think they look identical but they’re not.”

“They’re not?”

“Nope. Look at your dad’s nose. There is a freckle close to the bridge of his nose which Tadgh doesn’t have and,” she mock-whispered, “Uncle Tadgh’s beard is a little bit darker red than your father’s. Also, you have to get pretty close to notice but Uncle Tadgh’s blue eyes, in his left one, there is a little black dot near his iris which your dad doesn’t have.”

“Wow, you notice all those things?” Egan was surprised.

“Yes, but I also noticed their bodies are different. Even though they are the same size, one of them has bigger more rounded shoulders and the other has stronger legs. Can you figure it out?”

“My dad has stronger shoulders.”

“I like boxing and lifting weights,” Kiefer commented quietly, “and I do a lot of rowing.”

“I run, cycle and do kickboxing,” Tadgh added, “I like rowing too, but I prefer to do it on the water. I like outdoor activities more than inside ones. Your dad always liked indoor things more.”

“Huh,” Egan was studying them intently. “My brother Roan said if he was with me, we would look the same, but Mom would be able to tell us apart. Sometimes when I look in a mirror, I think for a minute it might be him and not me. What if I’m really Roan, and Egan is the brother who died? I mean I know I’m not Roan because I’m Egan but” he looked at Kiefer, “what if when you were born, your mom mixed you up and you’re really Tadgh and he’s really Kiefer?”

Genesis bit her lips together and turned her head as both men stared incredulously at the child’s version of a mind fuck. She snickered as they appeared at a loss. “I think I’m going to take a cat nap in my seat until we land. Let me know when we’re close.” She patted Kiefer’s chest, “you get to answer all the weird six-year-old boy questions.” Grinning she motioned to Egan, remembering a particularly difficult recent conversation. “Egan remember when you asked questions about your penis and Astra, and I said we weren’t boys so we couldn’t answer and how it wasn’t appropriate to ask your female teachers either? Your dad is the perfect person to ask.”

“Dad why is it when I’m in the bathtub if I wash my penis, it gets hard and it feels good.”

The coughing and spluttering from the three men as she walked away and plunked back down into her assigned seat made her feel the first bit of joy in days.