Chapter 80: Eighty-one

Hope

"This is the greatest news ever!" Darius exclaimed joyfully, standing up to his feet to rejoice.

"Congratulations, your majesties," the physician said to me and Darius with a proud smile. "The queen is about two to three months pregnant. We should quickly begin the transformation process in order to ensure a safe delivery and a stable health for her Majesty."

"Transformation process...?" I said slowly, then looked at Darius.

There was a bright smile on his face as he said, "Yes. The transformation process. You know you can't give birth to a royal Lycan child with a human bodily constitution. There is a ninety percent chance of dying. It is better to transform into a Lycan to give birth.

"It is not a very difficult process. Painful, yes. But I will be there for you and help you-"

"Are you listening yourself, Darius Moratis?" I cut him off with a sharp tone. The tension in the room surged.

"Ah... Your majesties, I will take my leave now." The physician said with a hint of discomfort in his tone and dismissed himself from the room.

Darius was too busy staring at me in shock to hear the physician's words.

"Wh-what do you mean, Hope? You're pregnant. This is a joyous news. Why aren't you smiling?" Darius said. It was clear that he didn't know what the problem was with his reaction.

"Because I don't want to be pregnant." I said with firm tone. From the expression on Darius' face, it seemed like I had really shocked him this time.

I didn't let him get a word in as I continued speaking. "I don't want to have a child with you. I don't want to transform into a Lycan. I don't want to be a..."

I trailed off without saying the word that almost escaped from my mouth.

"A what, Hope?" Darius questioned with a serious tone. His face had complety darkened.

"Nothing." I said with a stubborn tone, turning my head away from him.

"A monster, right? That was what you wanted to say, hm? You still think that all Lycans are monsters, don't you?" Darius said. His pupils glowed bright amber. And the whites of his eyes were reddened due to the tears that clouded them.

Also, his hands were tightened into fists, showing that he was restraining himself from losing his cool.

I shook my head negatively at his questions. "I didn't say that. I don't think that all Lycans are monsters."

There was Kyle. He was not a monster. He was loyal and considerate and would jump into a river of fire if I told him that it would help me. There was Soren, he was funny and hardworking.

There were also other soldiers in the Lycan army who didn't seem like monsters though they were Lycans. And there was Darius... The Darius that I had gotten to know these past few months was not a monster.

Sure he was annoying, but he wasn't a monster. His behavior almost made me forget all the things that he had done to me from the start. In fact, I had even forgotten most of what I suffered.

And I was now a little enlightened. Though Lycans could transform into vicious creatures, this ability did not define them. They were still people, just like me.

However, this did not mean I wanted to be like them.

"Then what are you trying to say? I don't understand. I thought you would be happy. I thought that having a child would be the bridge that would bring us together and get you to love me. Yet, you're saying all of this..." Darius seemed to be trying to wrap his head around my words.

"A bridge to bring us together? Who told you that we needed a child before I would be able accept you and love you?"

Those words came out from my mouth before I was able to stop them. The expression on Darius' face was indecipherable. I couldn't tell if he was delighted or relieved or angry or shocked or annoyed.

"Hope, don't say things like that at such a time. I fear that you only want to give me hope, then take it away. So please, don't say things like that again." Darius pleaded with me.

"Don't say things like what?" I questioned him. "Like loving you?! Why shouldn't I say them?"

"Because it's hard to believe!" Darius fired at me. "It's hard to believe that you'll ever love me out of your own volition without any medium steering you."

"I see..." With those words, I bowed my head and unconsciously touched my stomach. Another sense of enlightenment washed over me.

"But it's true. Though what I feel for you might not be exactly what you feel for me, I can't say that there is nothing between us from my side but hatred." I confessed with my head bowed, too ashamed to look into Darius' eyes.

But he countered this by dropping down next to me and covering my hand that was against my stomach with his own hand.

"Then that's good. It's all good. There's no need for you to not want a child and be with me." Darius reasoned.

"Like you," I corrected. Darius was confused.

"There are still reasons for me not to be like you. Though I can manage to be with you. I do not want to be like you." I explained clearly with an icy expression.

"I really don't understand you, Hope." Darius withdrew his hand from my stomach and slowly stood up to his feet. "I'm trying to understand you but I really don't."

That might be because I didn't even understand myself. All I knew was that I didn't want to become a Lycan. And if this child inside my womb was what would make me have to transform into a Lycan, I had to get rid of it.

"I don't want to have this child. I don't want to be a Lycan. That's all you need to understand. You said you would choose me over anything else just a moment ago. So do it. Choose me." I said to Darius.

I hated that I could sense desperacy in my tone as I spoke to him. But still, Darius didn't choose me like he said he would.

"I'm sorry," he said. "I can't harm my own child with the risk of harming you as well. I can't understand you in this matter. I'm sorry."

I knew it.