Chapter 13

Farley:

Hollow stayed with me for the rest of that day, but we didn’t talk much. We’d stayed hidden away in my room, sitting on the floor. He had his arm around me, and I laid my ear over his broken heart.

Eventually, he’d left me to go to bed. I didn’t sleep much, and in the morning, I had nothing to do. I hadn’t realized when I first came here, that I would have so much empty time on my hands. Since the king would be calling on me soon to entertain him more, I thought I could pass the time practicing more tricks. I couldn’t do the same thing twice, because I shouldn’t risk him getting bored. If I really wowed him, then maybe I could gain favor.

I tried to think up something new and interesting, having to pull it out of thin air. I made some sparks in my hands, and tried making them burst above me. I kept them small, and easy to control.

While I had the hang of my magic, I knew I could have been better. My parents had told me not to practice, or I would become even more corrupted by it. It made me think about the woman who made me into this, and how she must have started out. I wanted to know if she had been born with her power, or if she got cursed like I had. Surely she couldn’t have been born evil. No one was. Something had to have happened to that woman, to make her the person she had been when we met. My parents must have thought that would be my future, and they wanted to make sure it didn’t happen. I couldn’t have known how much time they’d thought about it, but often I found myself thinking about a hundred years from now. I would still be alive, and everyone I knew, would be dead. I knew the extent of my power, and that I could do to someone else, what nature would do to me. The problem being, I would have to find someone who wanted to spend eternity with me. Someone who wanted to watch the world change, and lose everyone else. That felt like a lot to ask, and I did not expect to find it. Maybe that made the witch evil.

Sparks flew from my hand and into the air. They looked so boring, so I added a little color. I thought the king might have liked red or blue, so I worked on that. They still felt dull, and I didn’t know how to fix the problem. How many chances did I get before he replaced me? He wouldn’t have just set me free, I knew that much. So basically, my life depended on if I could make sparkles look interesting.

I stood up, and took a deep breath. The color wasn’t the problem. Clearly, it needed to be bigger. If I bumped it up a little, it would change the whole thing. Hollow might have even enjoyed it. Actually, he had never told me if he liked anything from my last show. I tried not to frown at that, or be sad at the idea he might not have found me entertaining. Well… screw him if he didn’t.

I threw all my focus into the trick, pulling on the magic in me. Counting down, I intended to make the sparks explode into more sparks, that would make the shape of a crown. That didn’t happen.

The magic in my hands exploded, making a loud sound and knocking me on my ass in the small room. I made a sound of irritation, blowing on my too hot hands. No damage, but it stung a little bit.

The door flew open, and Hollow stepped inside. He looked around, and then smirked at me on the floor. “I thought you were dead. I guess you’re just… what? Practicing falling down?”

“Bite me,” I snapped. “But also help me up.”

He took my hands, pulling me to my feet. I patted myself down, making sure nothing was on fire. I should have known better than to do that trick.

“Playing with yourself?” Hollow asked.

I punched his arm. “I was practicing my magic for my next performance, ass.”

“So that’s a yes.”

He really needed to be hit in the face with a pillow, but I only had the one, and I couldn’t risk him taking it from me as a punishment.

Before I could say something snappy, another man entered my too small room. The mean guard who wanted to cut my hand off. Lwyn, or something like that.

“What was that?” he asked, holding a dagger in his hand. “Your highness, do you need assistance?”

“Settle down,” Hollow said, making the gesture with his hands. “No need to cut her.”

“I was practicing my magic,” I explained.

“In the castle?”

I rolled my eyes. “Where else am I supposed to do my magic? You know that the king wants me here, right? He literally told me that I had to live in this castle.”

The guard’s harsh expression didn’t fade. “What you do is dangerous, and you could get us all killed if you aren’t careful. Somehow I doubt you care enough to watch what you do.”

“You can stop talking now,” Hollow said. “You’re giving me a headache and making me want to murder strangers. But I’m sure you get that a lot.”

He sneered.

I jumped in, trying to put out the fire. “It’s my job to do this magic. Kinda like your job is to guard people, and not threaten to cut hands off.”

He gave me a flat look. “You stole, and thieves are punished. You’re lucky you got off as easy as you did.”

Hollow chuckled. “Do you remember when you were caught stealing food from the kitchen? No one tried to cut you up. If you don’t agree, maybe I should go get my sword and do a little work on you. What do you think?”

Lwyn took a breath, and put his dagger away. “I am only doing my job. For all I knew, she was down here planning a strike against you. All the guards think she killed those men, so why am I to think any different.”

I gasped, my eyes bulging. “What?!”

Hollow patted my shoulder. “Don’t worry about it.”

He would be hearing about that later.

Lwyn still stared at me like I was a fly in his ointment. He looked at me like every other person in the world did. With disgust, a little worry, and hate. I stood at five fucking feet tall, and tripped over everything. How could people have been scared of me?

“Something to say?” I asked him. “Because if there is, then say it now.”

He smirked at me, and I really hated when people had that cocky look. “I do have something to say, actually. You may have the king and this prince fooled, but the rest of us know better. We know what you are capable of, and if need be, we will take care of the pro—”

Hollow started slowly closing the door, and a clicking sound made the guard shut his mouth. Hollow seemed amused by his actions, and he laid in my bed. I watched him put his hands behind his head, getting comfortable in a bed and room that didn’t belong to him.

“What do you think you’re doing?” I asked.

He grinned at me. “I’m just relaxing. Though you seem tense. Come lay with me.”

I snorted. “There’s barely enough room for you on that thing, and what would people think if they found us cuddling together in a bed?”

“I don’t care what people might think.”

“You should care that the cot will collapse with any more weight on it.”

He sat up, examining it with his eyes. “Considering you’re supposed to be here for the rest of your days—or until my father dies at least—you really should have a proper room. You must miss it.”

“I didn’t have one before.”

“At home?”

I nodded, and risked sitting on the little cot. Hollow shifted so that we sat side by side. “I slept on a wooden platform, just under the roof. I got to watch it snow as I slept.”

Hollow gave me a sideways look. “From a window?”

“Holes in the roof.”

“Did you have a bed?”

“No.”

He pinched his brow, sounding more put out than I had been about not having a room. “They treated you very poorly. Was there ever a time where they were kind?”

I thought back to before I became a witch, trying hard to remember how my parents used to be. “I was so young,” I explained. “So it’s fuzzy. But I used to have a room, and a bed all my own. I can remember my father held me a lot. My mother used to hold my hand. When I woke up after the curse, everything changed so quickly. No one wanted to touch me. They thought it might have spread to them, and they didn’t want me near them. I heard talks of bringing me far and away and just… letting me go. I might have survived on my own.”

“At three?”

“A little older.”

“Your existence sounds miserable. Have you ever had a moment of joy or pleasure in your whole life?”

I shrugged. “I had cake a couple days ago. Does that count?”

Hollow gave me a smile. “I guess it’ll have to do, since you refuse to relax with me in this wonderful little bed of yours. I don’t understand why it was okay to cuddle on the floor, but the bed would be crossing a line.”

Because I had been miserable, and needed the comfort. I wasn’t in any position to be alone at the time, and Hollow offered company. Somehow, we’d become friends. Hostile ones, sure, but friends nonetheless. I’d never had one before, so, naturally, I assumed I would ruin it any moment now.

“Those are the rules,” I said.

“Prince,” Hollow said as he pointed to himself. “I don’t follow rules. So…”

He grabbed me by the hips, and we went backward on the bed. I got crushed against the wall, but at least Hollow didn’t have any damage to speak of. He put his arm around me, and I took it upon myself to nestle my head against the crook of his shoulder. I laid my hand over his heart, and settled against him.

“See?” he asked quietly. “Isn’t this nice?”

“It’s a little weird. Do friends do this?”

“I wouldn’t know. Is it making you uncomfortable? Do you want to stop?”

“No,” I said timidly.

We laid there, and I felt entirely aware that friends didn’t do this. I saw it on the horizon, how I would ruin this. I didn’t realize the turnaround would be this quick. I tried to smush it all down, wanting to ignore it for as long as I could. I found it easy to not hate Hollow when he acted like this. Worse, I thought it easier to think other things as well.

When I nearly had fallen asleep, Hollow ruined it all by talking. “As amazing as this bed feels, we should probably leave. Someone will eventually come looking for me.”

I grumbled, but let him pull me to my feet. When I squinted at him in irritation, the boy smiled, and brushed the hair out of my face. His hand lingered, and his fingers glided slowly along my jaw. I couldn’t understand the way he watched me.

“Your hair is messy,” he said, sounding amused.

I pulled on it self-consciously. “Does it look bad?”

Hollow shook his head. “No, I like it.”

I waited for something, barely realizing that I had been waiting. I stood there, watching Hollow expectantly. It wasn’t until he left the room that I figured out what I had been hoping for.

I caught up with him in the other room, seeing the king pass us by. He paused, glancing at his son and me. He said nothing to us, but looked thoughtful.

Hollow put his arm around my shoulder, leading me to the front doors. “Let’s go outside. It’s a nice day, or so I hear. Still no damn snow.”

I hesitated, but tried to keep up with him anyway. “Um, that didn’t work out great last time.”

“This time, I don’t plan on taking you off of the grounds. There’s a nice place to sit right outside.”

I had to trust him on this one.

He brought me out the doors, and over to the edges of the walkway. They had a little spot that led to the bridge, and it worked as a little bench of sorts. I sat with my back against the wall of the castle, while Hollow faced me. He requested I show him more of that trick I had been trying earlier, so I gave my best effort to not blow him up.

I had been laughing when a guard approached with a man at his side. The guard called to Hollow. “We have a visitor requesting your harlequin.”

I stared blankly at my brother as he did the same to me. He fidgeted where he stood, and couldn’t hold eye contact for long.

Hollow stood up, approaching the men. “And who are you?”

My brother bowed his head. “Coal. I’m Farley’s brother.”

“What do you want?”

“To speak with her. If that’s okay.”

Hollow looked back at me. “Do you want to talk to him?”

I got up, slowly approaching. I might have hidden behind Hollow a little bit, unsure of myself and my brother. “Um, okay.”

“Do you want to be alone?”

I nodded.

Hollow pulled the guard aside to say something, and I walked with my brother back to where I had been sitting. Really, I had no clue why he would have showed up, but I could hear him out. He was one of the only people who’d never hurt me.

After a couple minutes of silence, my brother finally spoke. “So… you live in the castle. How the hell did that happen?”

I smiled. “Did our parents not tell you the story?”

“They did, but I would rather have a more accurate version, unless you trust that they told that.”

The sky would have fallen before my parents defended me against any accusation. I told Coal the story from start to finish, beginning with that horrible woman stealing my money. It sounded crazy, saying it all out loud. How did I go from being the pariah of my village, to living with semi privilege in the castle? Clearly more magic than I could see, had been at work.

“How have they been?” I asked. “Have Mother and Father been talking about me?”

“Complaining mostly. They miss their wood cutter.” When I rolled my eyes, he added, “You did a good job. Far better than they ever gave you credit for.”

“Kind words. In fact, this might be the most you’ve ever said to me. Why is that? Why are you here?”

My brother watched the stone between us, pretending to clear away pebbles or dust, or something like that. It took him what felt like hours to answer. “I thought you were dead. For those few days after you were taken, I thought someone had finally killed you. I kept waiting, thinking there would come a day where some man with his chin held too high, would bring your body home. When he would tell some story about an accident, or saying you attacked them. I thought that day had come, and I would never see you again. Then Mother and Father came home, saying that you were taken by the king. I wanted to see you. I wanted to see that you were alive.”

I listened to his words, still unsure of them. “You never speak with me. You barely look at me when I’m home, and you’ve stood there for my beatings. Am I to believe you care about me?”

“I do,” he said. “But what do you want me to do? Stepping in would only get me hurt too. It wouldn’t save either of us.”

He had so much of my father in him, and I hated seeing it in his eyes. I had to hide the disgust it gave me to hear words like that. Coal would rather be a coward than stand for something. Did he think that would get him a happy life? He would have bowed down to anything if it meant saving his own skin. But he’d cared enough to come and see me. That had to have counted for something.

“I guess not,” I said. “Best keep yourself out of trouble.”

“You should try that too. If you’re careful and watch yourself, this could be a good life for you. Locked away in a tower. It’s what you’ve always wanted.”

I shook my head. “Not like this. Not when I’m owned by someone. I want to be free, and not to have to worry who wants me dead. That’s not too much to ask.”

“It is for you, Farley. Be happy that you survived this long, and try to keep surviving. You’ll outlive us all. Do you really believe you won’t come out ahead?”

Alone. I would come out alone, and I didn’t want that. This castle, this village, it would all be in ashes, and I would remain. When this world looked like something new, I would remain. I wouldn’t recognize a thing. Not a building, or a tree, or a set of eyes. It would be an eternity of torture that I never wanted to be a part of.

“No,” I whispered. “I will not come out ahead.”