Chapter 40

Lucy's POV

My first glance at him after two years and the first thought that entered my head was, I don't deserve this guy... Like not at all. He looked so handsome with the stunned look on his face I wanted to rush over and hug him, inhale his scent... Maybe even cry on his shoulders and tell him how much I missed him. But instead, I fiddled with my fingers and looked down, avoiding his gaze.

“Lucy?” He repeated as if to be sure I was the one. I peeked at him, my lips quivering.

“Hi...” I muttered again, biting my lower lips. “Long time no see,” I said nervously.

“It's. Really... You... Wha... When did you get here? I'm sorry, hello.” He rambled on. I chuckled softly.

“I just back today, and I wanted to see you first,” I muttered, glancing at him.

“Oh....” He trailed off, still staring at me. I took in a deep breath and cracked.

“Xander... I'm, really, really, really, really, really sorry.” I said, unconsciously counting off my fingers. "Really sorry,” I whispered and looked at me, but she wasn't staring at me, he was staring at my fingers, his side of his lips curled up. Huh??

.

.

.

Xander's POV

“You still do the counting stuff, hmm?” I asked, still amused.

“Hmm? “she asked confused but when the question registered took her hands to her back.” Kind of... It's a habit now.”

“I see,” I muttered.

“It's like you didn't hear what I said. I'm here to apologize to Xander. I've done a very bad thing... Not a bad, terrible thing and I want to apologize. I'm so, really, really, really....”

“Sorry.” I completed. She froze. “Yeah, I'm sorry too.” She looked at me skeptically.

“I'm the one apologizing here. Why are you telling me that you're sorry?”

“I guess we both owe each other an apology,” I replied.

"No” she began.” You don't understand. I'm the one who owes you an apology, not you.” To which I nodded. “You're not mad, are you?” She asked. Slowly, I nodded. She looked confused, dazed maybe.

“Why are you making this easy for me!” She suddenly said. “You're supposed to be very angry. Throw me out of your house, maybe throw a few insults... For goodness sake I did something terrible two years ago, panicked, and ran away and I didn't even explain myself. Why are you not angry??” she said frustrated. “Or are you pretending??”

I scoffed and went over to her and, pulling her closer, hugged her. She stiffened. "No, I'm not pretending. I'm not angry.”

“You're not supposed to hug me.” She whispered.

“Why?”

“Because you're mad at me. When people are mad at each other, they don't hug.” Then struggled to get away from me.

“Okay… Maybe I am a little mad at you.” I said.

“I just knew it... Wait, why are you mad at me?”

“Why didn't you ever call me? You just… Disappeared.

“I freaked out, chickened out, panicked, lost my liver..” I raised my brows. “In other words, I couldn't call you. I was terrified that you'll hang up on me without giving me a chance to… you know, explain. I thought you'll think of me as a cheap whore who goes about sleeping with her boyfriend's brother.” She muttered quietly.

“And who would give you such an idea?” I asked.

“I don't know, a pink monster with green eyes?” She asked, and I almost chuckled.

“The truth is... I don't have any explanation for what happened that night. All I remember is coming over to pick the drugs that I had forgotten, and Xavier said you weren't home, and I stayed a bit because I thought you might come home soon enough and then boom... It happened.” She hurriedly said. “I'm sorry.”

I looked at her for some time while she kept glancing at everywhere but me.

“I understand if you're angry with me... Or probably hate me, or don't ever want to talk to me... Because really, who would? All I ask is for you to not think of me as a terrible person cause I'm not... And don't blame Xavier as well, he was just as confused as I was.” She said. I pulled into another hug again.

“Xander... You really shouldn't be hugging me. I messed up.” She said and tried to pull away again, but I held her tighter.

“Just stay there,” I whispered. She stopped.

“I'm sorry.”

“I'm sorry too. I should've listened to you earlier. It would have saved us a lot of time.”

“I know... I'm a terrible person.” She whispered back. I couldn't see her, but I knew she was on the verge of crying due to the way her voice sounded.

“No, you're not. You're not the terrible person here. It wasn't your fault. It was nobody's fault.”

“You think so?” I smiled and pulled back a little.

“I know so,” I said.

“Okay... Thanks a lot. You can let me go now.” She whispered. I released her and went back a little.

“Wow... If I knew it'll be this easy, I would have come back sooner... But I wasn't ready to see the pink monster with green eyes yet.”

“Who is this pink monster with green eyes?” I asked.

“Oh... You don't want to see her. She'll scare the living daylight out of you as she did to me.”

“It's a... She?”

“A bad she.” She drawled. I widened my eyes and folded my hands. She chuckled.

“I have... To go now. I'll see you in school tomorrow, hopefully.”

“Okay, bye.”

“Bye... And thanks again. You don't know how much this means to me.” She said and slowly walked out of the house. I waved and sighed, still standing there. Just as I was about to leave, Xavier walked in. He looked surprised.

“Hey bro, what's up.” I greeted.

“I just saw Lucy... Leaving here. What happened?”

“She came to visit. Just arrived.” I answered him. He looked around the room.

“Well, I'm surprised, nothing broke. The house doesn't seem messy.” He said offhandedly. I chuckled.

“She just came to visit. No need to get worked up. Now if you'll excuse me, I have a movie to get to.” I said and left the room.

Settling down on the couch, I picked up the remote and stopped, smiling. For no apparent reason, I suddenly felt good.

.

.

.

Lucy's POV

I felt really happy, the happiest I've ever felt in a long time when I realized that Xander didn't hate me as much as I thought. It was good knowing that I suddenly wished I had come sooner... But anyway I'm glad it's not too late. I didn't know what I would have done if Xander was still angry with me. I probably would drown in my bathtub.

The good feeling continued till I got into the house and went over to the kitchen to grab a drink, as I was feeling thirsty. Then a voice brought me back to the room, a voice I wish I never heard.

“Hey, sis... Or should I say, stepsister?” Tricia sneered behind me. I grimaced and turned to her.

“What Is it, Tricia?” I asked.

“Oh, nothing... Just wondering why after a long time you decided to come back home.”

“That's none of your business.” I seethed.

“That's true..... Or is it to reconcile with Xander?” She suddenly piped up. I sighed. It's easy for Tricia to figure out anything no matter how mundane it was.

“So what? What if I came home for that? How is it your business??” I retorted.

“It's none of my business.. and I'm sure with the sweetheart Xander is, he must've forgiven you... Or pretended to.” I froze.

“What do you mean, pretended to?” I asked. She cackled.

“Oh come on... You don't expect Xander to still wait for you after such a long time, do you? He's moved on... To someone better.”

“What the hell are you talking about?” I found myself asking.

“Let's just say... Xander has found himself a new heartthrob and doesn't see you as important anymore.”

“That's not true! Xander has forgiven me!”

“Oh really? Why don't you come to school tomorrow and see for yourself... She's really pretty. Plus, she's not a cheap whore like you.” She added disdainfully. I felt hit tears sting my eyes.

“I am not a cheap whore!!” I yelled at her.

“Okay... If you say so. And if Xander thinks so. I have to go now sis; I need to fix my nails.” She said and turned, sashaying away from the room. The tears threatened to fall, but I cleaned them off.

Tricia sure knows how to get into my head. For goodness’ sake, I'm not a cheap whore. But that's not even what bothered me... What the hell did she mean by saying that Xander had gotten himself a heartthrob, I'm not even against that but Xander pretending to forgive me? What the hell is that supposed to mean.

A cold feeling swept through my head, and I felt chills on my finger. It reminded me that I was overthinking, and it was never a good sign. Damnit! This is why I hate coming home. I stomped to my room and locked the door behind me, dropping onto the bed. My phone buzzed, reminding me it was time to take my drugs.

I hate my life.