Chapter 40: Forty
Vivian's Pov
“Come on Vivian! This is no time to act all bossy." He casually said, "Cat got your tongue?” He added.
I stood frozen at the door, staring at him sprawled across my bed like he owned it.
“Kade, what are you doing here?” I demanded, still stunned.
He didn’t move. “Nothing.”
“Nothing?” I echoed. “You broke into my room for nothing?”
He finally looked up at me, his eyes unreadable. “I like watching you.”
I blinked, thinking I’d misheard. “What?”
“You heard me,” he said calmly, as if it were the most ordinary thing in the world. “I like watching you.”
I stepped back a little, my heartbeat thudding in my ears. “That’s not funny, Kade.”
“I wasn’t joking.”
My mouth went dry. “You, you’re saying you’ve been watching me?”
He sat up slowly, resting his elbows on his knees. “Who did you think it was? Some maid? One of Grandfather’s spies?”
My stomach twisted. “Wait… are you saying you’re the one who’s been keeping tabs on me?”
He gave a lazy shrug. “Maybe.”
“Maybe?” My voice came out sharper than I intended. “That’s not something you can do, Kade! Why would you—”
He cut me off, standing to his full height, his gaze pinning me in place. “Because I wanted to.”
I took a step back. “That’s not an answer!”
He arched his brow. “It’s the only one you’re getting.”
I stared at him, frustration bubbling up inside me. “Do you have any idea how messed up that sounds? You’ve been watching me like I’m some experiment!”
“Don’t exaggerate.”
“I’m not exaggerating!” I snapped. “Do you even hear yourself? You’ve been following me, showing up everywhere, acting like—”
“Like what?” he interrupted, voice dropping low. “Like I care?”
That threw me off. “You, what?”
He stepped closer, his expression unreadable. “You’re the one always sneaking around this house, sketching, muttering to yourself, acting like you don’t belong here. You think no one notices, but I do.”
I folded my arms tightly. “So that gives you the right to stalk me?”
“Don’t call it that.”
“What else should I call it?” I shot back. “You’re watching me, following me, and I’m supposed to just, what, thank you for it?”
He clenched his jaw. “I’m not some creep, Vivian.”
“Then act like it!” I snapped. “Stop treating me like I’m part of some test you’re trying to figure out.”
His eyes darkened. “You really don’t get it, do you?”
“Get what?”
“That I’m not watching you because I have to.” His voice rose suddenly. “I’m watching you because I want to.”
The words hit harder than I expected. My throat went dry, but I forced myself to speak. “That doesn’t make it any better, Kade.”
He let out a sharp laugh, but there was no humor in it. “You think I care about better or worse? You think I’m doing this because of my grandfather?”
“I don’t know what to think anymore!” I yelled back. “One minute you’re mocking me, the next you’re breaking into my room, and now you’re saying you’ve been watching me? What am I supposed to do with that?”
He ran a hand through his hair, clearly frustrated. “You’re supposed to see me, Vivian.”
I frowned. “See you? I do see you, Kade. You’re impossible to miss.”
“That’s not what I mean!” he snapped. “You look at everyone else like they matter, like they’re worth something, but when it comes to me, you avoid my eyes, you run off, you pretend I don’t exist!”
“That’s because you drive me insane!”
“Good,” he said harshly. “At least I make you feel something.”
I stared at him, stunned. “You think that’s a good thing?”
“It’s better than indifference,” he said quietly. “You can hate me, yell at me, throw things at me, I don’t care. Just don’t ignore me.”
“Kade…” I trailed off, not sure if I wanted to slap him or shake him. “You’re unbelievable.”
He took another step closer, closing the distance between us until I could feel the tension vibrating in the air. “You have no idea what it’s like having you here,” he said, his tone low and rough. “Every day, I tell myself not to look. Not to care. But I can’t help it.”
I swallowed hard. “Why me?”
He laughed softly under his breath. “You really don’t see it, do you?”
“See what?”
“You’re different,” he said simply. “Everyone else in this house either pretends or obeys. You don't either. You talk back. You fight. You make me want to—” He cut himself off, jaw tightening.
“What do you want to do?” I pressed, my heart hammering.
He met my gaze, eyes burning with something raw. “To stop pretending I don’t feel anything.”
For a moment, silence hung thick between us. My chest rose and fell faster than it should have. “Kade…”
“Yeah?”
“Do you even realize what you’re saying?”
“Every word,” he said, voice steady now. “I’ve been watching you because I didn’t know how else to be near you without losing control. You make me feel like I’m always on edge, and I hate it, but I can’t stay away.”
I shook my head slowly, trying to process. “You’re insane.”
“Probably.”
“You’ve been watching me because you like me?”
He gave a short, bitter laugh. “I’m not sure if ‘like’ even covers it anymore.”
My lips parted, but no words came out. He stepped even closer, so close I could feel the heat radiating from him.
“Stop looking at me like that,” I whispered.
“Like what?”
“Like you mean it.”
He smiled faintly. “That’s the problem. I do.”
I froze. The confession hit harder than I expected, knocking the air right out of me.
“You can’t just say things like that, Kade,” I said quietly. “You don’t get to play with people’s feelings.”
“I’m not playing.”
“Then what do you call this?”
He held my gaze. “A mistake I can’t undo.”
My pulse stuttered. “You’re serious?”
“Dead serious,” he said softly. “You want honesty? Fine. I’ve been watching you because I couldn’t stop myself. Because every time you walk into a room, I forget everything else. Because I’ve never met anyone who made me this… angry and alive at the same time.”
I took a shaky breath, my mind spinning. “You’re out of your mind.”
“Maybe,” he said, his voice low. “But at least now you know.”
Before I could respond, he turned away, heading for the door. My heart was still racing when his hand brushed the knob.
“Wait,” I called after him. “What happens now?”
He paused, glancing back at me with a faint, humorless smile. “That depends on you, Vivian.”
The door clicked shut behind him, leaving me standing there, stunned, my thoughts
spinning in chaos.
What just happened?
I tried gathering my thoughts together and the next moment he came back inside.
What the hell was going on?