Chapter 64

Princess Elowen Starfire.

When the door closed behind Aric, I remained motionless, sitting on the edge of the bed, my fingers lightly clutching the crumpled fabric of my dress. My chest rising and falling rapidly. With each beat, I felt the beats rise to my neck, the size of the adrenaline that I felt.

I looked toward the door where he had been standing. Trying to process everything.

What got into him… What happened here?

I looked down at my dress and adjusted it; my breasts were exposed.

The entire room seemed to spin slowly around me, and the silence was so heavy it felt like it was crushing me.

What would I do now?

My eyes widened slightly, and I brought my fingers to my lips. They were warm, swollen, and sensitive. They could still feel the touch of his lips, the heat of that desperate and, somehow, inevitable surrender. I took a deep breath, trying to erase the feeling, but it was no use. It was as if Aric were still here, as if the scent of his skin was lingering in the room, on my clothes, on me.

Did I… give in?

I ran my fingers over my face, still not believing it.

The answer was obvious...

Yes.

I gave in.

And it wasn't just any weakness; it was a dive. I threw myself in with my eyes closed, without thinking about the consequences. I let him kiss me, I let his body cover me, and I let his hands invade the boundaries I swore to protect.

And worst of all? I wanted it. I desired it. Every second. Every touch. Many sigh.

Damn… I shouldn't have let that happen. I didn't think straight at that moment, my wolf; I felt crazy.

“That was a mistake,” I muttered to myself, feeling the weight of guilt drain from my shoulders. ''You shouldn't have done that...”

But my body didn't seem to agree. It was as if I were split in two, the rational Elowen, princess, heiress, the diplomat who carried the responsibility of the elven people on her shoulders, and the other… something primitive, instinctive, wild. Something that pulsed inside me with urgency.

It was my wolf, who seemed hungry.

She hadn't awakened yet, not completely, but she was there. Sleeping beneath my skin, beneath my bones, beneath my blood. And now, after Aric… she was stirring, agitated, restless, and desperate. She wanted him; she wanted his touch, his scent, his warmth, and she didn't just want his body; she wanted his soul, his wolf.

But I shook my head, trying to change her mind that it would never happen.

“This can't be happening.” I whispered, shaking my head.

I needed air, distance, and focus.

I got up from the bed quickly, and the room seemed too small, suffocating.

I walked steadily down the hall, trying to put every thought in its place. With each step, I repeated to myself that it was a mistake. That it wouldn't happen again. That I had committed a weakness—a single, stupid, impulsive weakness.

That's when I heard someone call me.

“Princess?” Render called me from the end of the hallway, his dark, full eyes looking worried. He approached slowly, as if sensing that something was improper. '‘Is everything okay?'’ His tone, although concerned for me, seemed neutral, as it always did.

I left my posture straight, quickly, wanted to relieve a little of what I was feeling.

Render could not see how I was, how agitated I was inside.

I knew that my face must have been red, and my eyes must have flinched for a moment, but I tried to hide, took a deep breath and shook my head.

"I’m well, Render," I said firmly. ''I’m only thinking about tomorrow.'' I said, finding her eyes that had softened.

I couldn't confess what had happened, not that. No one could know what had happened in that room.

The lie came out too easily; I hated that.

Render narrowed his eyes, as if he wasn't convinced, but he didn't question it. Always respectful, always measuring his words.

“Shall we leave at dawn?” he asked.

“Yes. We can't waste any time; every second is precious.” I paused. “Aeloria can't wait.”

“Understood, I'll be ready, and so will our soldiers.”

I nodded without saying another word, then walked to my room in silence, feeling the weight of Render's gaze on my back until it disappeared down the hallway.

I closed the door harder than I should have, leaning against it, exhausted. I closed my eyes and let my forehead rest against the cold wood. I wanted that cold to penetrate my skin and my bones, and freeze the part of me that was still trembling.

I walked over to a chair and sat down, trying to tell myself to forget, that I needed to relax my mind a little, even if it was difficult.

But I couldn't. With every passing second, with every blink of my eyes, that scene played over and over in my mind, like flashes.

The part that remembered Aric's eyes staring into mine with such intensity, the part that remembered his taste, the way his breath mingled with mine, the way he walked away... without saying a word.

Why did he do that?

I wanted to know, but he didn't talk to me; he just… left.

Why did he give himself to me as if I were everything he wanted, and then... back out?

I was curious as to why he acted that way.

Did his wolf not want me? I felt that Aric wanted me; his eyes, his mouth told me so, his soul.

The image of him getting up from the bed as if he were running away from me, from us, hurt me more than I would like to admit. I didn't understand; nothing made sense. He was cold and calculating; from day one he asserted that this marriage was just a strategy, a political alliance, “business,” he said. And yet... tonight... It happened, in such an intense way.

Was he lying to himself as much as I was?

I shook my head and walked to the window, slowly opening the curtains and looking up at the sky. I couldn't allow myself to look away.

I had to stay focused. Everything that had happened between me and Aric would have to wait. I had something more urgent to deal with. Something that made my heart ache with every beat when I remembered her voice, calling me to play, to read a story.

Aeloria was out there, somewhere, alone, scared, maybe even hurt. I was her older sister, her only hope, and that was my duty.

The only thing that really mattered.

I closed my eyes, trying to push away the memory of Aric's touch, his hoarse voice, and his lips. But it was useless; it was etched into me.

“Tomorrow is a new day,” I whispered to myself. ''And what happened… won't happen again.”

I would pretend that what happened today was a dream—a good dream, but one that won't come true.

It was just a mistake, a slip, perhaps.

It was a promise.

The hardest one I've ever made for myself.

But I had to keep it.

For her.

For me.

For everything that was yet to come.

I thought determinedly as I looked up at the moon shining high in the sky.