Chapter 15: Coming Down From the High

The first thought I had as I woke up wasn't some wonderful reminiscing memory of last night. It was a petrifying realization.

I'm not on birth control...

"Shit!" I cursed as I jolted upright in bed. Where the hell was I? I glanced around the room nervously taking in my surroundings, before remembering I was in Nicolo's room. The bed was empty on his side but I hadn't expected him to be lying there. I knew he it would be crossing a boundary.

The inside of my thighs were crusted with cum. My pussy felt raw and overused as I tossed my legs over the side and placed my feet on the cold, wooden floor. I wasn't on birth control and there was millions of sperm racing to the nearest egg. That's exactly what every girl wanted - to have their first child by a dangerous thug who kidnapped them. I swallowed the lump in my throat.

How had I been so stupid? So blind. I was careless.

Because you love him..

My tongue felt dry, and my face felt hot. The walls felt like they would swallow me whole as those four words knocked around my head like a sick joke.

"No!" I choked. I wrapped my arms around myself as the temperature dropped. Coldness slid along my naked flesh, as the twisted realization that I had gained deep feelings for Nicolo nauseated me.

"You're fucked up!" I screamed at myself. "You can't love him..."

I shook my head furiously. This wasn't love. I couldn't love a man who would never love me; who had taken me from my home and beat and abused me to his will just because he could. No way in hell would I give birth to a child in this place. Especially, his child.

Tears pricked at my eyes, a stinging reminder that my world was falling apart slowly. I was losing myself. Piece by piece Nicolo chipped away at the woman I used to be.

I wiped angrily at the tears, smearing them along my cheeks. My clothes. I had to find my clothes.

I glanced desperately around the room, but all I found was Nicolo's dress shirt. I slipped my arms into it, and buttoned it carelessly. The shirt hung just above my knees. He really was tall.

I needed to find him. Somehow the rooms felt colder. Impersonal as I pushed out into the hallway. Light streamed in from the windows at the ends of the halls, but an eerie dust settled everywhere.

I was in pursuit of Nicolo's office. I assumed I'd find him there. I prayed I didn't run into someone else. Especially in this attire. I contemplated running back to my room to slip something more covering on, but I was too determined. I didn't want to waste time. The longer I let his semen stew inside of me, the more likely we were of producing life.

I was so oblivious to my surroundings, I hadn't noticed Jay until I smacked into him. His brows furrowed with worry, and his arms shot out to steady me. He examined my face quickly.

"Are you okay, Selena?"

I hated how sweet his voice was and how kind he was to me. I hated that I enjoyed him being around and I was starting to become content with living here. I hated it! I hated myself the most. I shook my head quickly and wiggled out of his grip. He pretended not to be hurt by it, but I could see the emotion flash across his eyes.

"Don't worry about me."

With one judgmental assessment of my attire, he became even more persistent.

"What the hell happened? Are you hurt?"

"No."

"What are you doing?"

"Nothing." I snapped. I didn't want to tell him. He'd try to stop me. I side-stepped him. He grabbed a hold of my arm before I could brush by him. His fingers gripped me tightly. I ignored the pain, and the guilt that swelled up inside of me.

"Let me go! Just leave me the fuck alone, Jay. You're not obligated to take care of me like charity. Your just another consort in a kidnapping. So just stay the hell away from me!"

Even though my words lacked truth, I could tell they hit home. Jay's grip loosened, and his arms fell back down to his sides. I knew it wasn't his choice to kidnap me, and I knew he had no control over the bigger issues. He was just a kid, like myself. Barely out of our teenage years, following something larger. His face fell, and he cast his eyes to the ground.

It took everything inside of me to push past him. I kept walking. He didn't yell or try to stop me.

I held onto the wall, now blinded by tears as I neared Nicolo's office. I bet I looked pathetic. Sobbing like a fool in front of someone who didn't care.

The sound of voices, faltered my brisk steps. I slowed down, and stopped near his door while trying to remain as quiet as possible. He wasn't alone. After further investigation, I saw the older man who was previously here for dinner, Dominico walking past the cracked open door.

"You are getting too careless, Nicolo." Dominico hissed. Nicolo's body tensed.

"Screw what Giovanni thinks."

"He thinks you're getting too personal. We all do."

"Personal? He stole money from the empire we built!" Nicolo slammed his fist down on his desk. Dominico didn't flinch. It didn't seem to bother him that Nicolo was losing control. He seemed well adjusted. I was frightened from Nicolo's outburst. What the hell was going on? Why was he being careless? Over what?

"You have already taken care the Joshua situation." Dominico began. "What about the girl?"

"What about the girl?" Nicolo's voice was defensive. He frowned.

"She's a liability."

"Don't you think I fucking know that?"

"Well, it seems you need a reminder!" Dominico boomed. "You're getting sloppy! I'm not going to have your pathetic emotions ruin what we've built."

"Ruin? You know how fucking hard I've been working? How much effort I put in to get us here? Your father had nothing when he came to America. You were just a pathetic salesman before me."

A smack resounded around the room. I blinked a few times to make sure I wasn't hallucinating. Dominico just slapped Nicolo. Nicolo didn't move to hit him back, he didn't even rub the red mark burned onto his cheek.

"Remember your place, boy." Dominico spat. "You may be my grandson, but business is business." Dominico spun on his heel to face the door. I moved quickly out of view. "If you can't start acting like a business man you're useless to me."

I scrambled quickly to the nearest door I could find, jiggling the doorknob, and squealing gently as it twisted open. I slipped inside. Dominico's footsteps approached the door and passed by.

"I'm a liability..." I whispered. The room I was in was dark. It felt small, like a closet space. Things on the floor smacked against the back of my heels when I had entered. "He's going to kill me." My voice shook with each of those words. Death. My untimely demise was finally a reality. I was only getting in the way. There was no use for me anymore. Not any that would benefit his business. I was a selfish pleasure. Something he stowed away for himself, and it was catching up with him.

I feared exiting the closet. I didn't want to run into him and put him in that difficult decision. I had to hide. Stay away from him so he couldn't have a chance to kill me. I could barricade my room. The idea sounded stupid even in my head, but it was practical at keeping him away.

I swallowed my fear and held onto the last shred of courage I could as I pushed open the door and stepped out into the hallway. It was quiet in his office. Too quiet. I didn't stop to look to see if he was in there. My feet pushed me towards my room.

My room seemed miles away. My feet ached with every step and the floor creaked mockingly as I neared my room. There was no sign of Nicolo. I hoped he wasn't in my room. No. Everything was going to be fine.

"Maybe he'll just let you go?" I mumbled, but I discarded the idea. He couldn't. I knew everything. I knew his identity. The identities of his family members involved in this dangerous trade. I knew what the mansion looked like, and if asked I might've been able to identify the area.

"I know too much. Even if it is only a little."

I practically leaped to my bedroom door. The room was empty. In seconds, I went to work. I locked the door and began to push my bed towards it. The bed was heavy, and scraped against the floor so hard and loud I was sure the whole house would be alerted. The legs from the bed scratched against the wooden floor. The headboard at the top of the bed, weighed it down.

I glanced towards the fireplace where the chaise lounge and the love seat were placed. A knock on my door startled me in mid step.

"Selena?" Nicolo called.

"Oh no," I hissed, and hurriedly began to push the chaise lounge towards the bed. It was almost as heavy.

"What are you doing?"

He twisted the doorknob. "Open the door! Now!"

I remained silent, and did one last shove to press the chaise lounge against the bed.

"Open this fucking door now."

The door rattled as he attempted to shake it.

All that kept repeating in my head was "I'm going to die."

The love seat was next.

"I swear to fucking god if you don't open this door you're not going to like what happens." I believed his words.

"When I fucking get in there, Selena, you're ass is mine."

That should've made me laugh. Maybe in another context it would've but I was frightened.

"Stay away from me!" I screamed. He banged himself against the door, shaking the whole floor.

The jingling of keys caught my attention. Shit!

"He has the fucking keys..."

I'm an idiot.

The lock clicked undone.

He shoved against the door hard. The bed moved an inch.

"It's gonna hold. Yes," I rasped. Now breathless as I moved behind the love seat.

He continued to shove, and the bed moved further away from the door. In a panic, I pushed against the love seat to get it to move.

"No!" I screamed as I pushed it across the floor.

I was too late.

He slipped past the opening and into my room. His chest heaved rapidly. I was sure if I listened hard enough I'd be able to hear both our heartbeats racing, but all I could hear were my splitting screams.