Chapter 353: Day Seventy Two of Growing-1

I rub two fingers against my temple, trying to ease some of the pain in my head and the frustration that is coursing through my being. My eyes can barely stay open at this point, but I force them to keep me awake as I look at the image of a blurring Elliot through the screen of my laptop. He's talking on the phone to someone from the hospital, which is how it's been on and off for the past forty-five minutes of us being on a video call. Rolling my shoulders, I try to ease some of the pain that I'm carrying there after the length of the day that I've had. Today, is not one of our best days. We're both tired and irritable. Me, because I had a long day, came home tired and hungry, waited for Elliot to talk to him for three hours because he ran late at the hospital and accidentally overslept, and because I've been watching him talk to other people over the phone, more than he's spoken to me during the forty-seven minutes and fourteen seconds of our call. Elliot because he overslept, has been getting bombarded with calls from the hospital, is tired and my bad mood is probably not helping. It's usually so easy, to see Elliot be annoyed by something that has happened and just talk to him, until he calms down himself. His irritations are usually over senior doctors who aren't very personable, or patients' families who are reluctant to get treatment. I've never seen Elliot angry, only irritated. I'm sure there's a difference between the two emotions in him. Today, with the throbbing in my head and my body's desperate need to rest, I can't seem to muster up any calm energy. I know I should. I know I should be helpful towards easing his mood and that me being annoyed helps nothing, but logic isn't hitting my energy addled brain. There's a silence from the other end of the line and I focus my bleary eyes on the screen and see Elliot toss his phone on to the tabletop, lean forward, drop his shoulders and rub his eyes with the bases of his palms. It's so obvious that he's too tired for this, but he keeps persisting. Elliot's hair is off-duty. On any other day, I would have smiled about it, but today, I have no energy for it. "El," I groan, dragging out the word. A pained murmur escapes him and he rubs his eyes again. "I'm sorry, Aura," he raises his head, "It's done. No more calls." "El, you said that three calls ago. Please, let's just go to sleep. We need it." "Aura, I promised you that we will speak today. We haven't spoken properly in over a week." "This isn't talking, El. This is me trying to stare at a screen while you take calls. I'm tired, El. I know you're tired, too." Elliot sighs deeply, looking back at me. "I'm trying, Aura." Groaning, I lower my forehead to my laptop and squeeze my eyes shut. A tear of exhaustion falls on to the cool metal. "Aura," Elliot says, softly. His voice is so calming, it makes me want to throttle him. "Three hours," I blurt out in the direction of my mousepad, "I sat here for three hours, El. I just – I just need a break. Can I please talk to you tomorrow?" "I go into work early tomorrow. The next time I'm free at a decent hour to you is during the weekend." "I'll do an ungodly hour any other day," I whine. He's quiet for too long a time, it makes me raise my head to look at him. Eyes intensely focused on me, he stares. "What?" I ask, pushing my hair out of my face. There's almost a smile on his face. "An ungodly hour?" Resting my head in my hands, I nod, stifling a yawn. "Seriously. Four in the morning, but not today, El." "You hate waking up early, Aura. You're ready for murder when people wake you up when you don't need to be awake," he tells me, like I don't know. Closing my eyes, I nod. "But you'd still wake up at an ungodly hour?"' "For you." There's a silence. I hear him sigh again. "It's been over a week, Aura," he almost pleads. "El –" "I can't give up, Aura." That statement makes me look at him. I'm half sad for me and half extremely annoyed. "I don't think you're giving up on me, El. I just think that you're blatantly denying me what I'm asking of you." The words leave me a bit harsher than I would have liked. "I always want to talk to you, El. Always. But I cannot keep my eyes open and even if I could, my head is killing me. I'm almost certain you'll get another call from the hospital in three minutes and I just don't have the energy to deal with it." He's staring at me. "I am annoyed, El. Not fully at you, but at you a little for forcing me to stay up and sit through all your calls. I will always stay up for you, El, but I do need a break on some days." Elliot regards me, an injured expression on his face. "I think this is all I know to do, Aura." His voice is low and pained. "It's like – all my relationships have fallen apart because I don't fight hard enough for time. And I will not allow that to happen. Not with you." My brow relaxes and I give him a smile. "You're more at risk of losing me if you don't let me sleep." It makes him smile, too. "El, I have absolutely no doubt that you will fight tooth and nail to give me your time. I see that time and time again. I miss you more than I can tell you, but one day isn't going to kill us. Tomorrow – yes, tomorrow, because it's not the next day until you sleep – we will wake up and this will be all better. Relax. Go to sleep. Let me sleep. And tomorrow, we start again." Elliot takes a few silent moments, so I add, "No measure of arguments is ever going to overshadow the faith I have in you, El, the faith I have in this." He looks reluctant, but he nods. "Okay, Aura. I'm sorry. About everything today. You're a lot wiser than me," he grins, tiredly, "I'll talk to you, though. Soon."