Chapter 142: Take my time

Casey’s POV

Grandma Betty was sitting on the small balcony outside her apartment when I saw her.

She had a cup of tea balanced carefully on the little table beside her, a blanket around her shoulders even though the afternoon wasn't particularly cold, and a book resting open in her lap.

She looked up as I approached. Her face immediately brightened. "There you are."

I smiled. "Hi, Grandma Betty."

She closed the book. "Come sit."

I didn't need to be asked twice. I dropped into the chair beside her and leaned back.

She studied me for several seconds.

"What?"

"You look different."

I frowned. "Different how?"

She smiled. "Happier."

I looked away. "Maybe."

"That's not a denial."

I laughed softly. "Maybe I'm just having a good week."

"I heard."

I turned toward her. "You heard what?"

"Olivia talks."

I groaned. "Of course she does."

Betty laughed. "She was very excited."

"About what?"

"Your parents."

I went still.

She watched me carefully. "So it's true?"

I nodded. "Yes."

She reached across and took my hand. "You met them."

"I did."

Her eyes softened. "Tell me."

I looked down at our hands. "I don't even know where to start."

"Start at the beginning."

I smiled faintly.

"The first time I met Alexander, I almost turned around before I even went inside the building."

Grandma Betty chuckled. "That sounds like you."

"I stood outside for so long that I probably looked suspicious."

"And?"

"He came out." My voice softened. "He didn't make me feel pressured."

Betty squeezed my hand. "Good."

"He didn't ask me to call him Dad."

She smiled. "I imagine that would've been a little much."

"Definitely." I laughed. "He just talked to me."

"And Victoria?"

I swallowed. "She was different."

Betty waited.

"I don't know how to explain it."

"You don't have to."

I looked toward the buildings across the street. "When I saw her, I knew."

"Knew what?"

"That she was my mother."

Betty's expression changed, not shock and not surprise but something quieter and understanding.

"I didn't even know her," I whispered. "But there was something about being around her."

I shook my head. "It sounds ridiculous."

"No."

"It doesn't make sense."

"Some things don't."

I smiled sadly. "She hugged me."

Betty's eyes filled. "Of course she did."

"I didn't know what to do."

"What did you do?"

"I hugged her back."

Betty smiled. "Good girl."

I laughed softly. "I've hugged her a few times now."

"Already?"

"Yeah."

"Then you're making up for lost time."

My throat tightened. "Maybe."

She waited. I knew she could see that there was more. "There was something else."

"What?"

"I met my brother."

Her eyebrows lifted. "Brother?"

I nodded. "Nathan."

"How old?"

"Nineteen."

Betty smiled. "So you're the older sister."

"Apparently."

"And?"

I laughed. "He's ridiculous."

"Good."

"He talks too much."

"Excellent."

"He thinks he's funny."

"That's a serious problem."

I laughed. "He is funny."

Betty smiled. "You like him."

"I do." My voice softened. "A lot."

She studied me. "How did he treat you?"

I didn't hesitate. "Like I was his sister."

Betty's eyes filled. "That simple?"

"That simple." I looked down at my wrist. "And he gave me this."

She noticed the bracelet. "That's pretty."

"It's from him."

"A star."

"Yeah."

Betty touched it gently. "Why a star?"

"He didn't really have a reason." I smiled. "He just liked it."

She looked at me. "I think he picked the right thing."

"Why?"

"Because you've spent a long time trying to find where you belong." She tapped the little charm. "Stars don't belong to one place."

I smiled. "That's a very Grandma Betty thing to say."

She laughed. "I've had years to practice."

We sat quietly for a moment then she asked, "How does it feel?"

I knew exactly what she meant. "Strange."

"Good strange or bad strange?"

"Both."

She nodded. "I knew it would be."

"I've been thinking about my name."

Betty's expression softened. "Ah."

"That's the problem."

"What problem?"

"I don't know whether I'm supposed to be Casey Roosevelt anymore."

She didn't answer immediately. Instead, she picked up her tea and took a small sip. "Do you want to be?"

I looked down. "I don't know."

"Do you want to be Casey Sterling?"

"I don't know that either."

"Then don't decide yet."

I looked at her. "It's not that easy."

"Why not?"

"Because everyone knows me as Casey Roosevelt."

"Yes."

"Chris does."

"Yes."

"Olivia does."

"Yes."

"You do."

"Yes."

I swallowed. "But now Victoria and Alexander know me as Casey Sterling."

Betty nodded. "And Nathan."

"Yeah."

She smiled. "Then you're lucky."

"How?"

"You have more people who love you than you did before."

My eyes stung. "I don't want to lose anyone."

Betty looked directly at me. "You won't."

"You don't know that."

"I know you." She reached for my hand again. "You're worried that changing your name means changing your life."

"Maybe."

"But names don't decide who loves you."

I looked at her. She squeezed my fingers. "Love doesn't disappear because your last name changes."

The words hit me harder than I expected. I looked away as a tear slipped down my cheek.

Grandma Betty didn't pretend not to notice. She simply waited.

"I've been so afraid," I whispered.

"Of what?"

"That if I become a Sterling, I'll somehow be betraying the people who were there for me."

She frowned gently. "Who?"

I thought about it. "Chris."

"That boy isn't going anywhere."

"Olivia."

"Neither is she."

I smiled faintly. "And you."

Betty smiled. "Especially me."

I laughed through my tears. "I know."

"Then what are you really afraid of?"

I didn't answer immediately because the truth was harder. "I'm afraid that if I let myself become their daughter..." My voice broke. "...then I'll have to admit how much I wanted them."

Betty's expression softened completely. "Oh, sweetheart."

I wiped my eyes. "I spent years telling myself I didn't need parents."

"You did need them."

"I know."

"And that's okay."

I nodded. "I thought I was supposed to be over it."

"Over what?"

"Wanting them."

Betty shook her head. "You were a child."

"I know."

"You didn't stop needing a mother because you were hurt."

I looked at her.

"You don't have to apologize for wanting what every child deserves."

My eyes filled again. "I met Victoria and Alexander, and it was like..." I searched for the words. "Like something inside me finally stopped waiting."

Betty reached over and pulled me into a hug. I rested my head against her shoulder. She smelled like the familiar perfume I'd known for years.

Home.

That word suddenly felt complicated. I had spent years thinking home was an apartment and then I'd thought it was the Sterling house.

But maybe home wasn't a place. Maybe it was people.

People who let you walk through the door without making you wonder whether you were wanted.

"I love them," I whispered.

Betty rubbed my back. "You can."

"I barely know them."

"You've spent twenty-two years not knowing them." She pulled back enough to look at me. "Give yourself permission to learn."

I nodded. "I met them."

"And?"

I smiled. "I want to meet them again."

"Then you will."

"I want to know everything."

"You have time."

I looked at her. "Do you think it's okay to love them?"

She looked almost offended. "Of course it is."

"But—"

"No." She raised a finger. "Don't you dare turn this into another thing you have to feel guilty about."

I laughed. "Sorry."

"There you go again."

"Right."

She smiled. "You've spent enough of your life apologizing for existing."

The words silenced me.

Betty reached up and brushed a strand of hair away from my face. "You don't have to do that anymore."

I looked across the balcony toward the building where I had lived since leaving the Roosevelt house.

My apartment.

My life.

The place where I'd learned to take care of myself.

The place where Chris and Olivia had stood beside me through so many things.

That was mine too.

Nothing about finding Victoria and Alexander took that away.

Nothing about Nathan becoming my brother erased the life I'd already built.

Maybe I didn't have to choose between two worlds.

Maybe I could finally have both.

I smiled. "I think I understand."

Betty smiled back. "Good."

I looked down at the bracelet and then I touched the little star. "I think I want to take my time."

"With your name?"

"With everything."

"That's the wisest thing you've said today."

I laughed. "Only today?"

"Don't push your luck."

I leaned back in my chair. For the first time, the question of who I was didn't feel like a fight.

It felt like something I could discover slowly on my own terms and maybe that was exactly what I needed.