Chapter 52

AVALINE

The girl coughed then shrugged. So I continued pointing the water hose at her face and gestured for Eiran to turn on the faucet. Her body was trembling. It wouldn’t help that Adonis was restraining her face. Alaric stayed glued in place despite wanting nothing but to punch me. He couldn’t do that to his capo unless we were sparring.

“S-sturph! Stop!”

I didn’t stop. She was still too smug. I’d do this until she felt vulnerable and desperate.

“Talk or let the water drown your words completely.”

We watched as her defiance melted into tears. Eiran turned off the faucet when he saw we had already gotten the desired reaction.

“One of your underbosses,” she gasped for breath. “One of your underbosses in La Archante is a traitor.”

I didn’t doubt that; this territory once belonged to our sperm donor after all.

“He’s a loyal soldier to the former capo,” she added. “And he wants Pascal Monteval to lead.”

“And you want to serve that cowardly leader?” I raised an eyebrow. “Pascal Monteval is a fucking coward who won’t include himself in the war and lets others fight for him instead.”

Sibley chuckled bitterly despite her tear-streaked face. “I don’t. If I wanted to, you and your wife would be dead by now.”

Instinctively, upon hearing my wife mentioned, I reached for the gun at my holster.

“Do not put death and my wife in the same sentence ever again. Or you’re not getting whatever you want from us.”

Shock crossed her face. Based on what she said, she didn’t intend to shoot us but made it look like she was about to, knowing she’d get caught.

“Surely you didn’t inform us of the traitor out of loyalty. You want something in return.”

Her face hardened, but she nodded once.

“I just want to be free from this underboss.”

I narrowed my eyes and then grinned ferociously.

“You see, Sibley. That may work if the Monteval or De Greco were the ones who caught you. But in my territory, even the greatest actress won’t fool us.”

She hates the underboss she’s working for; that much is true. But there’s a bigger reason why she needs my help.

“Untie her.”

Alaric was the first to comply.

“Where will she stay?” Adonis asked in a volume only we could hear. “We can’t free her. We can’t trust her.”

“She stays with you—”

“She stays with me,” Alaric declared.

“No!” Eiran and I said simultaneously along with Sibley’s “I don’t want to, idiot!”

I shook my head to emphasize my objection to his idea.

“She won’t be anywhere near my wife.” It might be a trigger. I still don’t know the nature of her panic attacks, but I won’t risk it.

“And I’m not letting the woman who almost killed Czar in,” Eiran added.

“It’s my house too,” Alaric argued. “You let De Greco’s child stay in the mansion despite Eiran’s objections.”

“Yes. But the difference is, she’s my wife. She has every right to live with me.” My tone was harsher this time. He was so agreeable when speaking to my wife, yet he talks about her like this.

I heightened my wife’s training in the following weeks. The war has started. We’ve been dealing with several deaths among our soldiers. There isn’t just one traitor here in La Archante. They’ve been waiting to strike and decided that now was the time.

“I’m going to corner you, then you’re going to try to fight me off.”

She slowly nodded.

Avaline kicked, which I immediately blocked with my hand. She landed a punch to my stomach and face, and I stepped back. When she approached, I kicked her hip. She punched again and I dodged. I avoided another kick as well. When I got closer, she wrapped her arm around my neck and rammed her knee into my stomach. I elbowed her.

I aimed another punch, but she bent down and wrapped her arms around my waist, pulling me down with her onto the floor. We tumbled and she got the upper hand.

“You’re not fighting me, husband. Stop holding back!”

“You can’t fight that way yet.”

She rolled her eyes. “If only our enemies were that considerate. They won’t hold back just because I still lack skills.”

That convinced me. This time, she didn’t even get a chance to land a hit. When I saw an opening, I outmaneuvered her and wrapped an arm around her to restrain her. She tried to fight back but I only gripped tighter to push her into trying harder.

But the more I restrained her, the less effort she put forth.

AVALINE

I can’t move and I’m going to die—like the little girl from my vision. The difference was that little girl had a mother to call; I don’t. Did that little girl survive?

The light before my eyes slowly got swallowed by darkness and I was back to that night in my vision.

They’re catching up to me and I’m still under this heavy weight pressing down on me. I hear the cries of that little girl ringing in my ears.

A soothing voice was trying to reach me. I wanted so badly to cling to it but just couldn’t reach it.

“Avaline.”

My eyes focused on my husband.

“Do you want to sit or go for a walk?” He stroked my hair gently.

I shook my head; I didn’t know how to respond. I wasn’t even sure if I heard him correctly or if my understanding was right.

“I’m going to hold you. Are you comfortable there?”

I nodded as he moved closer and rested my head against his chest, his fingers gently combing through my hair.

“I’m assuming you don’t want to be confined so I won’t be holding you completely.”

He talked to me about random things which took my mind off my distress.

Tears sprang in my eyes. Weak. Maybe this is why my father saw me as incapable of being one of them. He does not trust me not to freeze up like this. I really am a liability. Did my father see me panic like this once?

I pulled my husband close and cried on his chest.

“I’m sorry...” My sobs echoed in the gym. “I-I’m s-sorry… it just won’t work out.”

Czar’s tone was urgent. “Avaline, sorry for what?”

I smiled sadly. I’m such a disappointment. All this time… Why was I blaming my father when it was me who was the problem? Was I just too egotistical to admit I’m not fit for this? Maybe I just wanted to ease my conscience by thinking it was my father’s fault that I was weak. Because I didn’t want to lower my self-esteem.

He held me by both shoulders and gently pulled me away so he could see my face clearly. I looked down.

“What are you sorry for, wife?” He wiped my tears with his thumb. I sobbed even more because of how he cared for my feelings. He knows my flaws, yet he’s acting clueless.

“Because I’m just wasting your time.”

Concern etched on his face. “No, you’re not. Why would you say that?”

“I’m not learning anything. I’ll never be good at this!” I covered my face with my palm out of shame.

He took a deep breath. His eyes darkened and the temperature in the room dropped.

Is he mad?

“S-sorry,” my heart raced in anticipation of his anger. What will he say?

“Stop saying sorry,” he clipped, and I flinched. There was so much suppressed behind his words.

I looked down while he controlled himself.

“I’m not angry. And you’re definitely not wasting my time,” His brows were knitted together, so I wasn’t really convinced. “You know what your tears do to me, wife.”

I don’t.

“I’m training you to protect you. Fighting skills aren’t a trophy you carry around or something to brag about. This training is so you’d know how to defend yourself. That’s always my top priority. I don’t care if there are others who are better than you. What’s important is that it will be useful to you when needed.”

I was stunned. I don’t think he even realized he said I was his priority.

“Did you have these panic attacks before I brought you here?” It was a genuine question. No judgments.

“No,” I answered tersely.

He nodded. “Your father made sure you were never in close proximity with the enemies. That makes sense.”

I looked at him confusedly.

“What do my panic attacks have to do with my father not letting me fight?”

“You don’t like being cornered or restrained,” he said. “Those scenarios are more likely to happen during a physical fight.”

I remembered our wedding day when the courthouse was attacked and Czar threw himself on top of me, even the attack at the mansion when West confronted me with a gun.

Then it made sense. My room in Yekaterinburg had minimal design, which is why I wanted it open and spacious.

If being restrained is my trigger, then who is the little girl in my vision? She’s the one who doesn’t like being cornered, not me.

Am I crazy? It can’t be me!

“You’re in my territory, Avaline. No one will get hurt under my watch.”