71.0

71.0

HARPER

Back when I used to live alone and take care of my baby, it was hectic. Hectic doesn't even begin to cover it. I mean, I wasn't attending classes, but then I worked my ass off, juggling two, sometimes three, minimum-wage jobs so that I could pay rent, pay for Nyla's nursery and get myself food as well as my baby. Every single penny was accounted for.

I had no help.

None. Not a single soul to lean on, no family, no friends. It was just me and Nyla against the world.

But today, I attend classes alright. College classes, a full load, and it feels like a luxury. But then I have all the help I need. I don't have to worry about waking her up in the morning, or getting her ready, or worrying about her meals and stuff.

Everybody's helping out in the ways that they can. It's beautiful. My daughter has come to understand that if Mommy's not there in the mornings, Auntie Skye will be there, or Grandma Clara will do that. She's surrounded by love and care, and that makes all the difference.

I still get to spend time with her, precious moments carved out of my busy schedule. That's what I love about my schooling now; it's structured enough that I can manage my time. And for what it's worth, CPS hasn't contacted us since the last time, since that terrifying visit that still gives me nightmares. Clara says we aren't safe, not truly. We still have to do things orderly, make the home a safe space for Nyla because she needs it and not just because of Child Protection Services.

Phew. The thought makes me exhale slowly.

The past few days were a lot hectic considering I just wrapped up my first semester exams. My brain feels like scrambled eggs. Who knew college could be so different from highschool in ways I didn't expect? The sheer volume of reading, the intensity of the lectures. The classes didn't surprise me, I always knew my highschool classes and college classes would never be the same thing. But the exams...

I didn't give much thought to the exams and tests, assuming they'd be a straightforward regurgitation of facts. But they were brutal, designed to make you think, to push you to your limits. It all finally boils down to your lecturer though.

"Harper?" A soft voice cuts through my hazy thoughts.

My eyes open, blinking against the sudden light. I drag the sheets down from my face, untangling myself from the cocoon of blankets, and sit up as quickly as I can.

"Clara?" I ask.

"Oh, you're resting." Clara takes a few steps closer to my bed. "I'm just coming in now. The boys told me you're done with your exams?"

I nod, stretching my arms above my head, feeling the satisfying pop of my joints, before rubbing my eyes with my hands. "Yeah."

"You look drained."

I chuckle. "I am drained. Completely wrung out."

"I'm so sorry honey. How were the exams?" She sits on the edge of the bed, her hand gently patting my knee.

I shake my head, leaning it against the headboard. "I'd say surprising. Definitely not what I expected. But... I'm sure I'm gonna ace it. I mean... I know. I won't let you down, I promise."

Clara smiles. "You take your time, honey. Just focus on getting some rest. Is Nyla okay?"

"Yes. Skye took her out to the park. She's getting too noisy. Always bawling and she wants to be with me every time." I sigh, running my hand through my messed up, sticky hair. It feels like a bird's nest, tangled and unkempt from days of exam stress and restless sleep.

That's so gross. Damn. I need to get a hair care day appointment soon, or at least a really good wash and deep condition.

"It's a phase. She'll grow out of it." Clara says.

I do hope so. I sincerely hope she does. I can't deal with that level of clinginess at this point in time, not with everything else on my plate.

"So?" My brows raise, a silent question hanging in the air. I know she didn't just come in here to check up on me. We do talk and stuff, we've grown close, but there's a specific look in Clara's eye, that tells me she has something more significant to discuss.

"I was thinking about telling you last week but Xavier said you were overwhelmed with exams and I decided to wait." She explains.

Alright. Tell me what? My ears are perked up now. My mind immediately starts running through possibilities, none of them good.

"We are leaving."

I blink. "I don't... understand."

"I mean to say we are leaving for a while." She clarifies, but it doesn't help much. 'Leaving' is a loaded word for me.

I tilt my head to the side, confusion clouding my face. "We?" Yeah, because I don't understand. She has to define the word 'we'.

"We. I mean everybody here. The boys, You and the baby, Skye and myself." She lists them off, ticking them on her fingers, making it clear it's a group decision, not just me.

Alright. That's a lot of 'we'. "Where are we going?" I ask.

"I've been planning a trip since last month. It's a last minute idea but we have to act on it. I want to get this place renovated. The house feels smaller and I need to make it a lot bigger than..."

"No." I cut her off. "You said Skye could stay. I didn't want that and you said you didn't have a problem. Why didn't you just tell me that the house felt smaller with both of us and..."

"No, no, no. Harper no. That is not what I mean." Clara walks to my side and sits on the bed, her hand reaching out to gently grasp mine. "Honey, I'm not saying I regret taking you both in. Never. You and Nyla are family."

I shrug, pulling my hand away slightly, my gaze fixed on the wall, unable to meet her eyes. "That's what it looks like."

"I want to make the place a lot more comfortable for you both. For Nyla to have her own space, for you to have more privacy, for everyone to spread out. And this trip will help you relax and unwind. You've been under so much stress with exams and everything else. It'll also help Skye. Maybe a new environment for a few months is what Nyla needs, a change of scenery." She explains.

"I know what my baby needs." I snap.

"I understand. I'm not trying to say you don't know what she needs. I'm just saying, why don't we all go and relax? I've already made the preparations. I just want to know what you think about it. Trust me, I'm not going to force you to do anything you don't want to do. If you say no, I'll get an apartment ready for you and you and the baby can stay."

"It's fine." I exhale. "We'll go. And Clara... I'm really sorry for lashing out like that. I'm just so tired and you just kind of sprung it on me and Nyla and I have moved twice and I... I really appreciate everything you've done for us."

"It's fine." Clara nods.

"Really." I insist.

"Alright, get some rest. We leave in two days." She says.

Two days?! My eyes widen. That's incredibly fast.

"Okay." I nod.

She leaves me alone, closing the door softly behind her. I drag the sheets back up, pulling them over my head, and groan, a long, frustrated sound that's muffled by the pillow. We're moving again?

Fuck!