35

“A Lycan?!” Colsin turned away from Nel. It was just too much to bear at that moment. Nel took a step toward him and Colsin seemed to sense it and immediately turned and shot his hand out. “Stay back.” His voice was calm, but he was obviously flustered.

“I know that we’ve only heard about Lycans-how terribly vicious they are. I don’t sense such things from her, Colsin.”

Colsin watched Nel and she backed away from her mate, leaning against the door. She wasn’t trying to hurt him; she didn’t even seem to hold malice in her gaze.

“She’s lost, Colsin.”

Shadow was right, and Colsin knew it but it didn’t make any of this easier to accept. “Wh-this crazy! This-” Nel turned and went for the door handle. “Wait!” Colsin took a step forward when he thought better of it and paused.

“I’m leaving.”

“No, you’re not.” Colsin took another reluctant step forward.

“Why?” she turned around with full exasperation. “So you can turn me in?” her voice broke. “Is that what you want?”

“No!”

“Then what do you want from me?!” she snapped loudly again.

Before he could think better of it, his hands were against her mouth, his significantly larger form pinning her against the door of his room.

“Do you want the whole packhouse to hear you?!” he snapped.

As he looked down at her, he felt a tear fall against the pinky of his hand. She was so sad, and it was obvious that she had no more fights in her. Suddenly, as he stood there with his hand against her lips and his arm unconsciously wrapped around her waist, Colsin realized that there was nothing to be concerned about.

This girl was standing here defeated, no longer up for a fight. “I am not going to turn you in,” he tried to reassure her. “But we need to talk about this.”

Slowly, he dropped his hand and right after he did, Nel dropped her gaze. “We do,” she whispered weakly. “Or you can just reject me,” she said.

“You know that’s not going to happen. Not yet,” he said.

“But why?” she asked, looking up into Colsin’s eyes again. “You’d be free of me, and I’d be free to leave.”

“No,” he said with a frankness that he was unyielding. “I will not make such a brash decision because of our complicated situation. So, talk to me.”

“About what?” She walked past him and looked out of the window. “What do you want me to tell you?”

“Everything,” said Colsin, facing her as she stood at his window. Then he asked, “Is Leana Larken….”

“No,” Nel answered, knowing what his question was before he could finish it. “Leana Larken is not my biological mother.” She spoke. “But she is my mother.”

“When did your beast awaken?” he asked further.

“I was young when I first felt Onyx, but she fully awakened and matured at seventeen.”

“So Lycans mature at a younger age.”

“I wouldn’t know,” Nel shrugged. “I’ve never met anyone of my kind.” She finally turned around to face Colsin. “So, I can’t be sure if it was a fluke or…”

“You’ve been hiding all this time.” Colsin realized and then it dawned on him how difficult that must have been for her.

“I have no choice,” said Nel. “I…our species have a long history of not getting along. Killing each other,” she shrugged. “My mother was afraid that I would be a target and…well, judging by your initial reaction, I’m inclined to agree.”

“Listen,” he sighed. “I’m sorry, I just-”

“Don’t apologize,” Neliyah sighed. “I get it,” she dropped her gaze. “Neither of us knows enough about one another not to fear each other. Maybe that’s why I don’t trust your kind either. That’s why my mother doesn’t trust me being myself around your kind.”

“Well,” Colsin approached Nel until he was standing inches away from her. “Then we need to fix that.”

“You really think that we can?” she asked. By the tone in her voice, Nel didn’t think so; in fact, there was complete sarcasm dripping from her voice. She didn’t think that Colsin truly cared enough to want to fix anything. “This isn’t some simple fix, alpha wolf,” Nel not-so-subtly pointed out the blatant reason behind the conundrum. “I am a Lycan, surrounded by wolves, and other inhumans who have been fed this lie for centuries that inhumans that share my make are a monster.”

“And how do you know that it is a lie?” asked Colsin. “You’ve never met any of your kind.”

“That’s because your kind massacred us!” Pointed out Nel. “So, who’s the real monster, here?”

That, Colsin had no rebuttal for. Maybe his kind were the real monsters, but at the end of the day there was no proof of either. “There will always be three sides to the story, Red,” Said Colsin. “The only thing that we can do now is try and get things straight between us.”

Nel’s stare distanced itself and she looked out of Colsin’s balcony window. “It goes back to the question…is that even possible?” Nel asked. “How can you and I be amicable with everything that is working against us?”

“I don’t care about everyone else,” Colsin readily confessed. “For now, you are my mate and I do not want you to feel like you can’t trust me, and I certainly don’t want you feeling like you have to kill me to be happy.”

“Killing you would not have made me happy Colsin Stone.” When Nel said this, the shame that she felt about what she was going to do tore her gaze away from him.

“You sure?” he asked. “You seemed quite determined,” he teased at an attempt to make light of the situation.

Nel chuckled uneasily, shaking her head. She was grateful for his attempt to make her feel better, but it was short-lived.

“I’ve been hiding my true nature all my life,” she said. “And I just can’t take it anymore.”

“Why didn’t you just run?” Colsin asked.

Nel walked away from him. “Would you have let me?” she asked, facing him again. He didn’t answer and to Nel that was enough of a confirmation for her. “I…I was talking to my mother and…I was just convinced that…I’d never be able to outrun you or our bond.”

“And you didn’t think about just…you know, rejection?”

“You won’t-” Nel started to get worked up again but then cooled down. “You won’t let me reject you. You know that” Neliyah shrugged impatiently. “You just denied me rejection.”

“Well, if my life was on the line, I’d have definitely rethought my decision.”

Neliyah scoffed. “So then why won’t you reject me? Why won’t you let me go?”

“Because I’m not sure if that’s the best decision for me as the future alpha of this pack.” She seemed so confused by this. “Being paired with you, I can feel the difference in power. I feel stronger being mated to you.”

“But my species and my undecided title in the pack is just too scandalous for you, huh?”

“If I’m being honest…yes,” Colsin confessed. “While I may not have full insight into what happened during that time between our people, my father does and…while it seems like he has taken a liking to you, he still seems to have close-minded ideals when it comes to…well…your kind.”

“And you?” Nel asked, approaching him curiously. “What is it that you think?” she asked. “About my kind?”

“I…” as she sauntered forward, Colsin found himself taking a step back, but it wasn’t for the reason that Nel seemed to presume. “I think…”

Nel noticed his gesture and immediately felt as if they were back at square one. “You’re afraid,” she assumed. “Aren’t you?”

“No,” Colsin clarified. “Curious,” he corrected Nel.

“Then why do you retract from me? Do you really think that I didn’t notice you take a step back from me?”

“Calm down, Red,” Colsin demanded impatiently. “It’s not what you think.”

“Then what is it then?”

“It’s…you…your…”

Colsin sighed, his eyes narrowing down to the black skintight tank top that she was wearing. It hugged her breast in ways that he realized he suddenly would have liked to do. Her hips were accentuated in her black tight leggings. Then suddenly Colsin’s body recalled how it felt when he was so close to her and suddenly, he became aroused.

“Colsin.” Nel pressed. If she was going to stay there at that packhouse at least for the time being she needed to know that her being near and being who and what she was would not be a problem.

“Because earlier, I was too…enveloped in the fact that you were trying to kill me to,” he cleared his throat. Nel seemed confused. “I’m more aware of your effect on me now, Red. You’re still my mate, and I’d like to keep a clear head while talking to you.”

Nel suddenly flushed as she realized what he was saying. His hand subtly moved down to his shorts as if he was trying to cover something. “Oh! I-okay.” Now it was her turn to clear her throat and abashedly, she looked away. “I’m sorry, I didn’t-”

“It’s-it’s fine, don’t worry about it.” Colsin fought the embarrassment that was about to display on his cheeks. Not only because of his growing arousal but the fact that she didn’t seem to feel the same way that he was feeling.