Return Of A Mother

Return Of A Mother
Emma 

My head was blank as I approached the edge; the breeze grew thicker, and it felt as though an invisible material covered my face, pressing against my nose and preventing me from breathing. Well, in a while, I won’t have to worry about how cold the weather feels so cold that I could get sick soon, it could end today. I could just…

Just a step, just a step left, and it would all be over; I would meet with Grandmother also. My heart ached at the same time; my insides were flooded with excitement and expectations. It was a battle within me at that moment where I was just close to giving it up, jumping down the building, and setting my soul free. Why was I hesitating? Fuck I’m such a coward. 

“Don’t!” An unfamiliar voice yelled from behind. It was such a feminine, soft voice forcing itself through the wind so it’s loud and clear. I turned around, but the dim light made it difficult for me to make the person out; aside from the feminine figure and the fact that her gown was a flare gown, the other features were too dark for me to see through. 

“I know it’s hard, I know, but there are other ways, trust me, there are people out there waiting to be the reason you smile, someone waiting to cherish you, someone-” Her voice cracks. Was she crying? She barely knew me, yet she was sad about my death. 

“Please, Emma, just come back here.” 

I stilled, confused, trying to make out who she was; she certainly wasn’t Grace nor Selena. 

“Who are you?” I finally voice, anxious about her response. How did she get to know my name? Why is she heartbroken about my death? 

She hesitated, and that was not helping me calm down in any way. Perhaps it’s because I already feel something towards this person, her appearance might be the last and worst straw for me. 

Another figure emerged behind her; it was a familiar one this time, but it looked as though the lady stopped him from coming. But I was already starting to get back to my senses at his figure; I could feel the shame, the grief, the loneliness. I wonder how it would be for him if I let myself slip off. Liam didn’t say a word; instead, the woman stepped further. 

“It’s me, Emma,” Her voice was more unstable. 

“Your mother.” 

My heart leaped, and muscles giving out on me, everything blurred at first, I couldn’t tell if they were still mindful and keeping a distance or Liam was already running to me, but I took a step back, forgetting I was at the edge of a building. I felt myself falling backward, it felt like eternity to fall back, but Liam had caught my wrist so fast, he didn’t even care if he was going to fall with me, he took my hands without thinking and I got a glimpse of the look on his face, he looked so disoriented, he look scared, and heartbroken, and that snapped me back to my senses totally, maybe this was not enough for me to take my life, becuase the minute I was pulled back to landing, pulled to Liam with his arms wrapped tightly around me, I thought I was the one quivering but it was Liam. He was shaking so hard it scared me; his heartbeat was loud, and I could hear it even without resting my head on his chest. 

“Please don’t leave me, I’m sorry it’s all my fault, I’m the one in the wrong, please don’t-” His voice cracked, he was sobbing, heavily sobbing, he didn’t want to let me go yet, it didn’t seem like he could stand. Now, the guilt heavily weighed down on me. 

“I’m sorry,” Was all I could mutter, but that got him releasing me a little; he caressed my cheeks with his shaking hands while shaking his head. 

“No, it’s okay now.” He sniffled, hugging me once more, but this was short as he gave way for someone to come between us. 

“Let’s take this in,” Liam suggested, hand on my lower waist, ready to guide me out, but I refused to move with my eyes locked to the pair similar to mine. I had seen myself in the mirror a lot to know we resemble so much, and that irked me. 

“Emma,” She breathes, stepping closer to me, trying to reach my hands, but she pauses. It seemed like she wanted to speak more, but she was hesitating, so I ended it before she began. 

“I don’t, mother, she died after my birth.” 

There was a visible shock on her face before I nudged Liam to walk me out of there. He obliged without questioning, while I struggled not to look back, at the door, there was someone else, Mrs. Anderson, she wasn’t dressed in her usual style, she barely even had makeup on, but due to her flawless skin, one would only notice that when they get very close, she stared at with some kind of sadness, but she didn’t reach out and even Liam didn’t mind her. 

I had a lot of questions. How could she come out of nowhere to claim she’s my mother? How did she find me there? Why’s she back?

It’s almost hard to believe, and I definitely wouldn’t accept that. 

Liam helped me back to bed, tucked me in; however, he didn’t lie down beside me as I expected, instead, he made his way to the couch to sit. 

“Liam?” I called out, unsure if that was wrong to do. The couch backed the chair, so I was unable to see his face, but his shoulder had begun to quiver just like it was after I tried jumping off. He was crying. This was the first time I saw him cry this much. I got out the bed and walked to him. Without saying a word, I wrapped my arms around him. 

“I’m sorry,”

I stated as though it could change anything.